My name is Ransomed-n-Redeemed. 
I believe in the love of Christ. I believe that he came to save us all from sins.
I believe that my soul was ransomed, and the only way to save it was through death. I believe Christ paid this debt, and redeemed me from my bleak future.
I believe that I have been ransomed and redeemed.
World domination is everyone's dream. It's not a bad job really. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Villain I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, I follow these guidelines while conquering the world:
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the hot girlfriend of the hero, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bed chamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I will never employ the use of a major weapon that takes time to charge up before firing and utterly destroying the rebel base. Instead I will use weapons that can do the same thing with a single push of a button.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super-weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the hot rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let him in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh Powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the hot friend of the hero's cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the hot friends of the hero that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
(here on written by Reluctant Muggle...and her brothers)
61. Bringing former supervillains back to life is NOT a good idea. They will inevitably turn on you and continue the quest for power that they initially were part of.
62. If I ever have the urge to shoot someone, I will first make sure that the person I am shooting is not instrumental to my plot.
63. I will hide a note in all of the suits of my henchmen telling the code to the self destruct option of my fortress. When they attempt to use it, because they always will, it will shoot lasers across the room, killing them instantaneously.
64. I will never employ flying monkeys into my service.
65. The same goes for dragons. They’re far too temperamental.
66. I will never allow the hair of my enemies to grow longer then two feet, as they may try to climb out the window of their tower. If their hair should grow to a length that is unacceptable, a barber will be promptly sent for and their head removed.
67. I will never allow music to be played while I am plotting my evil. The most annoying song will most likely get lodged in my brain and keep me from working out the finer details of the plan.
68. If the hero has gotten past the hardest obstacle of my plan, I will not transfigure myself into a large and ferocious beast and rely only on myself. Instead, I will slink into a corner and hide while my legion of terror promptly shoots my enemy down.
69. I will not give myself a nickname that is susceptible to any puns and/or ridicule of any kind.
70. I will never enlist myself as the advisor to any type of authority figure. No one ever trusts the advisor. Instead, I will send my replaceable henchmen one after the other until I either get the information I need or run out of henchmen.
71. Any pets that I may own, should they have teeth, will not be perched upon my shoulder.
72. I will never dye my skin a humorous color. That will attract much unneeded attention to myself.
73. Before my henchmen are trained with firearms, I will show an instructional video on the handling and care of said firearms. They will be trained with paintball bullets first, so misfires will not post a problem.
74. Before building a base on a different planet, I will first watch the programs on the Discovery Channel and the Sci-Fi Channel. All aspects of the project will be taken care of by NASA employees.
75. I will never take ideas from cartoons or television programs. As the television says, ‘this is a dramatization.’
76. I will promptly write down any ideas I may have. I will not let old age and bad memory get the best of my career.
77. Dancing is not permitted in the secret sanctum under any circumstances.
78. Instead of stealing any components I may need, I will instead use any bank accounts I may have to purchase items on Ebay or at Walmart. My plot will be harder to trace.
79. If Walmart is closed, I will not use Target or K-Mart. Everyone knows that Walmart is the place of world domination.
80. Any super weapon I may have will not have a self destruct button. It will only be able to be dismantled with a common screwdriver, which I will keep upon my person at all times…extra screws as well.
81. I will keep double A batteries with me at all times. You never know when they may come in handy.
82. I will not wear contacts that change my eye color simply to look menacing unless they are absolutely necessary. My eyes may become irritated at the most inopportune moments.
83. The fact that the infomercial says that ‘success is one hundred percent guaranteed’ will not keep me from devising a back up plan.
84. Security guards will not be given comfortable chairs, donuts, or television monitors with changeable channels. They will instead stand guard just beyond every door in the fortress.
85. Any security cameras in my facility will NOT be visible to the naked eye.
86. I will not learn to shoot lightning out of my fingertips. It won’t be enough to harm someone, plus it will ruin a perfectly good manicure.
87. If my plan fails, I will not place a backup generator on the other side of the world. Instead, I will place it in the building next door.
88. I will never say, should I be defeated, “I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for –insert hero’s name here-”
89. Clichéd phrases are never an option. Ever.
"Mankind without truth, without God-given morals. He has strenght, he can think, he can even feel things emotionally-but if he isn't given a good, solid standard for right and wrong, then there's nothing to keep him from using strength and reason and feelings in selfish ways, even destructive...we wonder why people do such evil things, why there's so much violence in the world, why people rob and cheat and betray each other. But when we erase truth from out thinking and say there's no right or wrong except for what each person thinks is right or wrong,well, we get the kind of world we deserve."
-Elisha, Nightmare Academy
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
-Oscar Levant
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one."
-John Lennan
"If this be sin, then let sin be served."
-The Oath
"Odd how the creative power at once brings the whole universe to order."
-Virginia Woolf
"The life of the creative man is lead, directed and controlled by boredom. Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes."
-Saul Stienburg
A little about me:
Uniqueness- Your inner power is Uniqueness! You are very different from everyone around you, and you like it that way. In fact, you’d be furious if you were anything else. To the world outside you are a buoyant, fun loving person, and are probably pretty popular. Yet deep down you feel the urge to be accepted as who you are, and desperately want someone who is truly there for you. You are very indecisive and change your mind regularly over just about anything. You’re very opinionated, and bulldoze over anyone who doesn’t share your views. At times you can be very depressed, though few people realize it with your animated personality. You are great fun to be around, and enjoy shocking people with your out there views and beliefs. At times however, your urge to be different can work against you, as people don’t often enjoy their ideas of right and wrong having any shades of grey. But don’t let them get to you; you’re an awesome person who many love. You have no doubt heaps of friends, but don’t always have that close friend/s that you want and need. You strive to be accepted for who you are, and are protective and loyal to those who earn your trust. Although at times you think there may be no one there, look around. There is someone in the shadows who desperately wants to be your friend, who maybe you just haven’t noticed. Don’t let anyone get you down, you’re the one who gives this boring world excitement and culture. Keep it up!
Boy/Girl who will sweep you off your feet: Someone different and independent. Someone who isnt your typical male/female, who can accept that not everything has to be black and white, and yes, there are many, many shades of grey.
Your stone/jewel: Amethyst
Your power: Difference/Change. This is the ability to make a difference in the world, to create new ideas and opinions, and to open up the minds of others to show that there is more than one shade of grey.
Your element: Electricity/Lightening
A quote that applies to you: "Id much rather to be hated for who I am than loved for who Im not."
~*AP Family*~
KGBash-brother
live4him08-brother
OutsideTheMirror-mom
carebearfreak-cousin
xXxBroken HeartxXx-cousin
xNamix-cousin
IvyPunk-cousin
They Call Me Jenn-cousin
Majestic Poet-cousin
Turttle423-uncle
FirstScript-sister
kissjess-sister
lilmissloser-sister
Joyce DeGuia-sister
An0nym0us-sister
DesertRose1-sister
Edaria-sister
xxChaoticTearsxx-sister
anathin4u-sister
mysoulsdead-sister
Foxydaze14-sister
butterflyfree123-highlighter sister!
twilightzone-twin
la petite sirene-twin
marshmellow goth-twin
ColdBloodedMidnight-twin
tearsofacidrain-twin
weapnsnthefrmofwrds-twin
WarmHeartedGeisha16-twin*HUG THE NEWEST MEMBER!*
hyper person 91-psycho twin who randomly says the same thing I do at the same time I do...it's wierd
Hyperp91: ...it's weird
me: knock that off
HP91: knock that off
both: *sigh*
RAn dUMb-long lost brother in law...
(X.x)
_____
(>"<
/_|_\
This is Mr. Bunny. The village decapitated him while he was trying to dominate the world. Poor Bunny NOT. He had it coming to him!
Post this on your page if you think mr.bunny is a cruel dictator
I believe in the love of Christ. I believe that he came to save us all from sins.
I believe that my soul was ransomed, and the only way to save it was through death. I believe Christ paid this debt, and redeemed me from my bleak future.
I believe that I have been ransomed and redeemed.
World domination is everyone's dream. It's not a bad job really. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However, every Evil Villain I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, I follow these guidelines while conquering the world:
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear Plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the hot girlfriend of the hero, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labeled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi storm troopers, Roman foot soldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bed chamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I will never employ the use of a major weapon that takes time to charge up before firing and utterly destroying the rebel base. Instead I will use weapons that can do the same thing with a single push of a button.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable super-weapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the hot rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let him in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?", I will reply "This." and shoot the advisor.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh Powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the hot friend of the hero's cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the hot friends of the hero that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
(here on written by Reluctant Muggle...and her brothers)
61. Bringing former supervillains back to life is NOT a good idea. They will inevitably turn on you and continue the quest for power that they initially were part of.
62. If I ever have the urge to shoot someone, I will first make sure that the person I am shooting is not instrumental to my plot.
63. I will hide a note in all of the suits of my henchmen telling the code to the self destruct option of my fortress. When they attempt to use it, because they always will, it will shoot lasers across the room, killing them instantaneously.
64. I will never employ flying monkeys into my service.
65. The same goes for dragons. They’re far too temperamental.
66. I will never allow the hair of my enemies to grow longer then two feet, as they may try to climb out the window of their tower. If their hair should grow to a length that is unacceptable, a barber will be promptly sent for and their head removed.
67. I will never allow music to be played while I am plotting my evil. The most annoying song will most likely get lodged in my brain and keep me from working out the finer details of the plan.
68. If the hero has gotten past the hardest obstacle of my plan, I will not transfigure myself into a large and ferocious beast and rely only on myself. Instead, I will slink into a corner and hide while my legion of terror promptly shoots my enemy down.
69. I will not give myself a nickname that is susceptible to any puns and/or ridicule of any kind.
70. I will never enlist myself as the advisor to any type of authority figure. No one ever trusts the advisor. Instead, I will send my replaceable henchmen one after the other until I either get the information I need or run out of henchmen.
71. Any pets that I may own, should they have teeth, will not be perched upon my shoulder.
72. I will never dye my skin a humorous color. That will attract much unneeded attention to myself.
73. Before my henchmen are trained with firearms, I will show an instructional video on the handling and care of said firearms. They will be trained with paintball bullets first, so misfires will not post a problem.
74. Before building a base on a different planet, I will first watch the programs on the Discovery Channel and the Sci-Fi Channel. All aspects of the project will be taken care of by NASA employees.
75. I will never take ideas from cartoons or television programs. As the television says, ‘this is a dramatization.’
76. I will promptly write down any ideas I may have. I will not let old age and bad memory get the best of my career.
77. Dancing is not permitted in the secret sanctum under any circumstances.
78. Instead of stealing any components I may need, I will instead use any bank accounts I may have to purchase items on Ebay or at Walmart. My plot will be harder to trace.
79. If Walmart is closed, I will not use Target or K-Mart. Everyone knows that Walmart is the place of world domination.
80. Any super weapon I may have will not have a self destruct button. It will only be able to be dismantled with a common screwdriver, which I will keep upon my person at all times…extra screws as well.
81. I will keep double A batteries with me at all times. You never know when they may come in handy.
82. I will not wear contacts that change my eye color simply to look menacing unless they are absolutely necessary. My eyes may become irritated at the most inopportune moments.
83. The fact that the infomercial says that ‘success is one hundred percent guaranteed’ will not keep me from devising a back up plan.
84. Security guards will not be given comfortable chairs, donuts, or television monitors with changeable channels. They will instead stand guard just beyond every door in the fortress.
85. Any security cameras in my facility will NOT be visible to the naked eye.
86. I will not learn to shoot lightning out of my fingertips. It won’t be enough to harm someone, plus it will ruin a perfectly good manicure.
87. If my plan fails, I will not place a backup generator on the other side of the world. Instead, I will place it in the building next door.
88. I will never say, should I be defeated, “I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for –insert hero’s name here-”
89. Clichéd phrases are never an option. Ever.
"Mankind without truth, without God-given morals. He has strenght, he can think, he can even feel things emotionally-but if he isn't given a good, solid standard for right and wrong, then there's nothing to keep him from using strength and reason and feelings in selfish ways, even destructive...we wonder why people do such evil things, why there's so much violence in the world, why people rob and cheat and betray each other. But when we erase truth from out thinking and say there's no right or wrong except for what each person thinks is right or wrong,well, we get the kind of world we deserve."
-Elisha, Nightmare Academy
"There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line."
-Oscar Levant
"You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you will join us, and the world will live as one."
-John Lennan
"If this be sin, then let sin be served."
-The Oath
"Odd how the creative power at once brings the whole universe to order."
-Virginia Woolf
"The life of the creative man is lead, directed and controlled by boredom. Avoiding boredom is one of our most important purposes."
-Saul Stienburg
A little about me:
Uniqueness- Your inner power is Uniqueness! You are very different from everyone around you, and you like it that way. In fact, you’d be furious if you were anything else. To the world outside you are a buoyant, fun loving person, and are probably pretty popular. Yet deep down you feel the urge to be accepted as who you are, and desperately want someone who is truly there for you. You are very indecisive and change your mind regularly over just about anything. You’re very opinionated, and bulldoze over anyone who doesn’t share your views. At times you can be very depressed, though few people realize it with your animated personality. You are great fun to be around, and enjoy shocking people with your out there views and beliefs. At times however, your urge to be different can work against you, as people don’t often enjoy their ideas of right and wrong having any shades of grey. But don’t let them get to you; you’re an awesome person who many love. You have no doubt heaps of friends, but don’t always have that close friend/s that you want and need. You strive to be accepted for who you are, and are protective and loyal to those who earn your trust. Although at times you think there may be no one there, look around. There is someone in the shadows who desperately wants to be your friend, who maybe you just haven’t noticed. Don’t let anyone get you down, you’re the one who gives this boring world excitement and culture. Keep it up!
Boy/Girl who will sweep you off your feet: Someone different and independent. Someone who isnt your typical male/female, who can accept that not everything has to be black and white, and yes, there are many, many shades of grey.
Your stone/jewel: Amethyst
Your power: Difference/Change. This is the ability to make a difference in the world, to create new ideas and opinions, and to open up the minds of others to show that there is more than one shade of grey.
Your element: Electricity/Lightening
A quote that applies to you: "Id much rather to be hated for who I am than loved for who Im not."
~*AP Family*~
KGBash-brother
live4him08-brother
OutsideTheMirror-mom
carebearfreak-cousin
xXxBroken HeartxXx-cousin
xNamix-cousin
IvyPunk-cousin
They Call Me Jenn-cousin
Majestic Poet-cousin
Turttle423-uncle
FirstScript-sister
kissjess-sister
lilmissloser-sister
Joyce DeGuia-sister
An0nym0us-sister
DesertRose1-sister
Edaria-sister
xxChaoticTearsxx-sister
anathin4u-sister
mysoulsdead-sister
Foxydaze14-sister
butterflyfree123-highlighter sister!
twilightzone-twin
la petite sirene-twin
marshmellow goth-twin
ColdBloodedMidnight-twin
tearsofacidrain-twin
weapnsnthefrmofwrds-twin
WarmHeartedGeisha16-twin*HUG THE NEWEST MEMBER!*
hyper person 91-psycho twin who randomly says the same thing I do at the same time I do...it's wierd
Hyperp91: ...it's weird
me: knock that off
HP91: knock that off
both: *sigh*
RAn dUMb-long lost brother in law...
(X.x)
_____
(>"<
/_|_\
This is Mr. Bunny. The village decapitated him while he was trying to dominate the world. Poor Bunny NOT. He had it coming to him!
Post this on your page if you think mr.bunny is a cruel dictator
- Last seen 1 day ago. Member since October 16, 2005.
- I'm a moonstone path poet for 517 comments.
- My mood is , and quote is "Spiritual Ninja 4 Christ".
- I am a 16 year old girl from California (United States)
- When I'm not writing, I'm a spiritual ninja.
- I am in the groups A Group For People Who are Tired of Trying to Talk to others And Dont Get responses, A group devoted to friendship, Allpoetry Friends, For Christian Teens, Its Just Poetry, Living for God, a circle of light, the random people
- I have 517 comments, 10 contests, 10 columns
My Poetry
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I sing my sorrow and all the light goes dim; I hold my muses and all is calm again.
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Translucent smiles drift with the wind
But a memory of the light of old15 lines, June 5. In Other
My Stories
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-FRUSTRATION-1 / \glance\2 / -EYES TURN AWAY-3 / \pointed look\4 / -PEN CLENCHED IN HAND, DROPS-166 lines, 1 comment, October 24, 2007. In <600 words
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The clock ticked… / Five. / She flew past the rubble that had once stood as proud walls. The sounds of shrieking birds rushed into her ears. It was almost time. She had to be there. / Four. / H153 lines, September 24, 2007. In <600 words, Science fiction
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1239 lines, 1 comment, July 29, 2006. In 600-2000 words
My other items
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- Column: Customer Etiquette ~The Flip Side~ at allpoetry
Etiquette is something all good people want to have, because respect and image are both highly valued in all situations. Whether it's in conversations with friends, a professional e-mail, or shopping for donuts, everything has a set of standards that seem - Column: Picture Thoughts: Part 2 at allpoetry
- Column: Picture Thoughts: Part 1 at allpoetry
Guest Book
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BookGirl on September 27I loved your long list of things you plan to do and not do when you dominate the world. I got so many laughs out of it! Apparently you've had plenty of time and opportunity to think it over. I especially liked the parts about not conversing with the enemy before killing him. (Some movies are SO DUMB.)
Some of my favorites: 2, 6, 24, and 29. Thanks for the laugh! -
Capitaine Rouge on August 16I love your Legions of Terror tactics. You can conquer with those, I bet! Ninjas have a lot going for them, but hey, I got the ship!
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Alilly on January 5
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Alilly on December 28, 2007
