Death, the pallid paladin of transient sleep
Awaiting Ragnarok when no eye shall weep
Grant thine touch swiftly upon this mortal
To the halls of Valhalla through your portal
Torn they came, ragged through the chasm
Impishly sauntering with devious glares
Some warped in their movement, just a spasm
Beamishly wavering their crude arms and wares
If thine touch is spared this battles time
Then feed thy thirst upon the foe of mine
Drink deeply of the souls I give to thee
Until none may stand before this axe and me
Taunting cries from our warriors lungs
To the advancing hordes mangy stench
With this victory, valiant tales shall be sung
Then follows our ale and a lusty wench
Judge my actions by Tyr’s faithful scales today
True my axe’s aim by Thor’s mighty way
Grant the insight of Odin’s all knowing eye
And lastly send the Valkyrie’s if I should die
Author notes
Just driving home today and I started putting this together. It could use some polishing but I liked the crudeness of it, kinda gave it a cold hard touch, much like the Norse ways I thought.
Written February 21st, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Ah I see what you are refering to. Too many words in the first line, it may stand if I took the adjective out or how you suggested. I do thank you for the lovely comment, tis much appreciated. I also appreciate you popping in, I know how hard that is to do at times.......lol. Here is wishing that all is great with you, take care.
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This is brilliantly penned, the flow is impeccable, apart from the first line of the last stanza where it hiccups, a little suggestion as to a change..
'Judge my actions by Tyr’s loyal scales today'
Your choice entirely, just wanted to pop in and say I love it...........
take care
sanity
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Many weapons litter the coffers of my treasure troves. Really I do have a double edged axe, I plan to hang it upon the wall in my computer room when I get it finished. I want to one day attempt to build a hammer, forging it from some raw steel and lacing it with runes of Norse scrawl. One day that is.....lol
I am however more familiar with the feel of a sledge in my hands, nothing like the pile driving force of 12 pounds of steel slamming home to finish up a job.
Why I carry it in my strap
Tucked nicely away until a bit work lumes before me and then I take it out and let it sing through the air striking home the mark.......hehehehe.
I must be blinded by the light. I cant see a thing, someone get this globe from around my head, I cant breathe.......lol. But honestly thank you, I appreciate you reading this write and commenting on it. Take care galf.
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I swoon to your comments at least as much as I swoon to your poetry...I particularly enjoyed the mead reference this time...ahem...
You are as verbose as Polonius, and much more entertaining! LOL!
Lorena
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When I get the speech down to an art I shall record a few bars and let you hear it......lol. Nah I usually use alot of slang and a wee bit of cajun accent when I speak. You are too generous with your comment, though it is deeply appreciated. I fear that sooner or later I shall change this one up a little becuase in my mind it just isnt finished. Time could be a constraint on that though. I may do it as a revision, who knows how this diabolical mind of mine works.....lol. Thank you for reading through this write. Hope all is well with you and that life is shining beautifully upon you. Take care.
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Why thank you kindly Bohb, I just cant seem to get away from these Norse pieces. I guess I love the mythos and mythology too much. Hopefully they wont charge me too much, keeping the meter going and all......lol. I am thinking on working on this one a bit more, who knows it may turn into a saga. It just seems chopped off to me, surely one going into battle would have more to say than wham bam thank ya mam, ok now skiddadle.....lol. I am going to stop in and see what you have been up to lately with the techno shaman. Here it is 2 am and I am wondering where does the time escape to? Take care my friend, I look forward to your new ones. I know they shall be great.
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.esrever ym no pu dekcip uoy ees I.....loL
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Should I make it to the doors, in the clansmens pressence before your march towards the heavenly realms I shall tale the tales you have woven upon the tapestries of yonder days. I do appreciate the kind graces that you bestow upon this wayward warrior. Now if your talking about the tingly sensations and all the little hairs sticking up when you say excited, nah I dont think so at all.....lol. I shall take your double shot of mead, letting the fermented honey trickle down the corners of my mouth and dance along the edges of my mustache. Thank you once again, I do hope that I can offer some bit of enticement that keeps the readers attention and draw them back for more at times. Once again I do appreciate the lovely comment, take care.
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Well that's not true! You don't wield an axe -you use your hammer..like, where do you think your name came from???
I've seen your tool too - it's huge! How do you carry that thing around?
Very impressive HammeR ...you shine in your own brilliance
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you write this way so good i am now wondering if you talk like this in real life This is excellent i wouldn't change a word of it.
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Yah! This does have the feeling of a Norse prayer -- you've got quite the meter running in this piece. On first read it goes down smoothly with no stutters evident.
Nicely done Hammer --- this is a Hero's song by with a true Bard's touch. -
...esrever in tnemmoc eritne ym od ot gniog saw I taht togrof I ,meop eht yb deticxe os saw I !LOL
!aneroL -
JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!! I think I just died and went to Valhalla!!!! LOL! This is absolutely killer! You are the king of such writes! Bring on the barbarians....I love 'em all! Is it wrong to be...um...excited by this???
The image is perfect...I give this composition 2 drinking horns up!!!! Your period pieces are entrancing...
Lorena
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