Sitting peacefully, while swinging-
The constant creak of the chain,
As the moments of time, drifts by-
Has my feet in a happy place,
My smile, the judge of thought-
A pleasant tear rolls down my cheek,
For the touching memories, still lives-
Within me, within the chain.
Swinging back and forth- through time-
And the beautiful essence, it brought my way.
As I wipe the tear, as I did with them,
I touched their faces, as they touched my life.
Loving them was never a chore,well- maybe;
A labor of love, as the chain creaks on.
Both unique, but equal within me-
My eyes filled up again, silently,
The sound of the chain, is drowned with the flow.
Memories echo, in an old man's heart-
Swinging once again, fueled through love.
Author notes
This was written while going through divorce. I was missing my children, Ian and Amanda.
Written October 15th, 2002
In a list
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Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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GOOD! I love your style. It was wonderful
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Very vivid and beautiful poem. Great piece here - a lot of emotion strung through the lines.
Am sorry for you missing your children.
Lady anairO
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very nice write
Nice feel to this, made me feel good just reading it. -
I really enjoyed this. You got your emotion through perfectly. While identifying your childern as seperate, unique people, you also made it clear that you love them both equally. Love can create such beautiful compositions!
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Wonderful.
You just write in the pretty way. I read this about three times, the first two just listening to the sounds, the third the meaning. -
Excellent!
Bravo! This is really a wonderful poem! It was a really nice ride to flow along with your work! Best wishes! Pejj -
amazing
Thanks so much for entering this into my contest! Your wording was really beautiful, and it made me feel really calm actually, the words just made you feel dreamy...It sounds like you have a lot of good memories! I love the swinging back and forth through time repition. Well done and goodluck
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This is very relaxing, and very softly written. Excellent job. I loved the use of the chain... just sitting there, reminiscing, or just thinking. Beautiful write. Best of luck in the contest!
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swaying
oh, beautiful, relaxed, sentimental write. I truly felt the sway of the chain in the flow of this piece. some parts make me want to stop and reminisce(sp?) about the good old times as if i am the old man, although i'm female (I have an active imagination). good use of punctuation. In poems such as this, author tend to overdo it, but there is a balance within your piece that fits with the flow. wonderful word choice, no repetitive adjectives or verbs, and everything fits in the exact place you put it. Wonderful job with this one. I wish you the best in this contest!
God bless.
~Faile~ -
"Judge of thought". Beautiful line. Made the poem for me.
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You must of have some lovely memories with your children. <3 This is an excellent poem, and I love the way you put such emphases on the chain. <3 Keep writing and good luck in the contest.
Chellie
xoxo -
This is a lovely poem and it does flow well and it has a good sound when read aloud. But after reading through it a few times..I have to admit that i'm not sure what you are thinking of. It seems like maybe your children..or maybe a spouse. I'm confused. But regardless it is beautiful!
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excellent
A nice chain of thoughts, linked together in a lovely way. We should all take the time to reflect on love and how it's touched and changed us. The swinging threw me off a bit, as I was expecting a 'link in the chain' sort of poem, but once I got on the same page, I enjoyed this very much. (I'm just a bit slow some days) oy ~TM -
neutral
i really liked this poem...it flowed nicely, and painted a lovely picture...the imagery that you used here was great. keep it up =)
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