In a heart beat
I'd be a bitch
in heat with fingers gnarled and battered
past fights
& frenzied fuck-offs
Gladly beat you, if you don't mind
Call me fat cow once more
I'll rip your belly through your mouth
watching you bleed
Perhaps that's why I like blood
wanting to heal the sick
sick of being sick
sick of being second, sick of being scorned
Just so sick
"Why did you fall ?"
How did I find the courage
to crawl ?
Ridicule yourself up your own arse
As I remember and fuck myself
in the head
Did I die?
Oh, I must be alive as I can feel
my face
Wet!
Tears, as I lay here and die
Heart aches and silent splendour
oh morphine, take me to the place
where my angel waits
Winged messengers of my past
Pleading, playing those damned harps
I hate the sound of the harp
"Why don't you go and see to that sick man over there"
"But my dear, your heart decided it didn't want to beat"
No more, tick tock, watch the bleeping clock
Author notes
I don't know.. but 25 years of nursing.. my own heart attacks and some tired and rusting thoughts from at least 30years ago..
Life moves on
Hope this kinda fits the contest.. just tried
Written April 15th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Metaphysical Self Portrait by Cvillelisa.
500 points, ended April 24, 2005, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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What can I say? Everytime I read you .. I hear the Music my poem friend. Thank you so very much for this. I absolutely hated judging this contest .. but so selfishly loved reading and re-reading everyone's poems.
You are a beautiful soul .. I feel it from here.
Peace,
Lisa
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What can I say? ..Raw, frayed, and in your face, rather like life is...on a good day... ( to me ).
Good luck in this.. I hope you aren't too nekid now that you shed some skin.. ( ack, even my humor is bent.. )
~~Lisa/whims -
hehheh hell yeah.. I've heard that sarcastic laughter too.. like .. who the bloody well, do you think you are kinda laugh..so I said..sod off!! and DO ONE!! LOLOLOL
Yepp snap those damned strings..
thanks hun..
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i once thought i heard and angel laughing ... not a happy laugh, she annoyed me, so i broke those strings on that damn harp .... yes, sometimes you wish for the silence, but "they" won't let you breathe .... a brilliant write my dear lil' chilly .... sometimes frustration can be a bitch, and sometimes you just need to release the ghosts and give that "harp" a good toss out the window .......
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Not in the Oxford English Dictionary mate!!! lolololololol I don't think so.. Even Splendour in the Grass.. that classic film was spelt right.. hhehehh
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Bless you Jan.. yeah.. it just spat itself out today.. like a bad dinner .. I had to get it out..
But many thanks for the help
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Gill I expect this contest is going to produce quite a few raw writes. I'm scared to write mine. When we expose our inner workings so openly it is often with trepidation. You have managed to weave a lot of what has shaped that inner self inot this write. Well done. Two fixes I can spot (other that the one mentioned above)
stanza 1 "bitch on heat" should be "bitch in heat" I think. and
"Oh, I must be alive as I can feeling
my face" not sure if you meant "alive as I can be, feeling" or if feeling should be feel which would seem to be the one you were going for to me.
I become increasingly intimidated to enter this...
~jan
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hehhehe hey.. can I join that band??? lololol I could be saucy Jill-jack-off and the space vixens.. LOLOLOL
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Pluralize your that's "Perhaps that why I like blood"
sounds like a victim of saucy jack and the space vixens. -
This kicked ass...I thought this was gonna be a love poem, well I was sadly mistaken. Anyways, I loved this write. Keep it up! ~Stacey~
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Your words resonated with me. The burdens and conflicts of caring and the levels of frustration that intermesh with your soul. The contrast with the background, I expected rivets to come undone from the struggles depicted here. Powerful.
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If that bald head was right here.. I'd kiss right now hun.. so I'll send a cyber snog over thankie hun.. hehheh hyberbole my arse.. lmao..
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such strong feeling in this poem! and it's classic nursechilly (how many times I saw you hyberbole us other mods over the head in debate, back in "the good old days." hehehehe)
this is a really honest look at what makes you tick, at what you face everyday...and why you face it.
"sick of being sick"
there's a line I can identify with. and there's where the metaphysical connection comes in, as opposed to being existential. I think it's best to see one's self in terms of personal choices rather than let ourselves off the hook by blaming everything in life on unchangable circumstances. but now I'm rambling off into my own philosophy...
I like this. good luck in the contest.
~travis
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Thanks Danna.. yes, it has many layers to it.. this isn't just about nursing though
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oooooo wow that was really intese good job
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Gill, this is full of such frustration. I never worked in the medical profession, but I have taken care of elderly relatives, and that is taxing enough. I could never handle what it is you nurses have to give every day. You have my utmost respect for what you do.
I do know the feeling of being sick and tired of being sick and tired. So that part of the poem I can relate to well. I'm allergic to morphine though... give me some codene instead, please
Good write. Glad that it wasn't something recent that inspired it.
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Thanks Muddy.. really appreciate you dropping by and leaving such a great comment
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sick and tired of being sick and tired...I was in the medical field for 13 years and I can relate to giving of yourself...with that frozen Miss America smile...it does have its toll on you...btw..I never liked the sound of harps either...sweet sister morphine, I think I've had those thoughts too...brilliant write
Peace Muddy
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