LITTLE TOT
Slumber safely little tot.
Whilst I enjoy the drink I’ve got.
Up above in bed you lie.
Oh please little baby do not cry.
You’ve been a pain for one whole day
Although your only intention was to play.
Tipping your food out on the floor.
And then crying until you got some more.
You emptied all the toys from your box.
And then all you did was chew your socks.
And when she leaned over to clean up the mess.
You were sick on mum’s new dress.
Then I found you on the mat.
Pulling hairs from the cat.
You know you really shouldn’t do that.
------You evil obnoxious little brat.
Author notes
Written on a Cross Channel Ferry [France - England] packed with kids!! Need I say more?
Written April 15th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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That was an awful trip. I am also known as Shantyfreak because of my love of the sea and sea songs but this was one voyage I did not enjoy.
Jim -
wowwwwwww a fantastic funny poem ..but so true of lil ones kids make a wonderful insperation to write about and this lil kid sure gave you some...giggles..smiles ~cheeky~
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Thanks for reading and writing BP.
Feel free to look around.
Jim S
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That's really funny! Yep, little kids are so fun... I really like your rhymes, the poem was really cute.
...<3<3 -
Thanks for your kind words Moon Shadow.
Jim S -
Excellent Poem
Nice one Jim,I liked your poem, it was very humerous,and very true to life.Ive been through It all with my three sons and now one of then is experiencing It with his.Once again an excellent poem. Good Luck in your contest. -
Thanks for the comment Tyrtle. Glad you liked it.
Jim S. -
Thanks for looking Dee, and thanks for commneting. I am glad you apreciated the rhymes. I try.
Jim S -
Thank you Vickie.
I'm glad you enjoyed it I like to feel I captured a little of what mums occasionally feel.
Jim S -
Thanks Megan. Glad you enjoyed it. Poke around you might like some of the others.
Jim S -
Thanks for looking Panhearts and thanks for the nice words.
Jim S -
awesome poem, it is so well written. though i am not always a fan of rhyme, you make it work very well in this piece. great job! ~tyrtle
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I like it! I have a couple of them running around myself. This is fun and just plain hilarious.
Great flow the rhyme doesn't seem forced, which would take away from the piece.
Nice enjoyable write.
~Dee -
hillarious, i love the ending,
"Then I found you on the mat.
Pulling hairs from the cat.
You know you really shouldn’t do that.
------You evil obnoxious little brat."
it was very dr suess meets hillarious yet annoyed person! lol good job -
The setting for your inspiration said it all, lol. That was too funny. And although I have four angels, they are very good when they are good and they are very rotten when they act like brats. Good one!
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Aw, lol, I'm likin' this one!
Megan.x -
Thanks for your comments. Glad you had a laugh. That was the idea behind the piece.
But I'm afraid I can't change the last line. It is the crux of the piece. It is meant to jar the audience not once but two or three times. That's why the rhythm was quite deliberately off. -
Well I got a good chuckle out of this for sure! What a fun read and best of luck in the contest! (One note, your rhythm is a bit off in some lines, particularly the last one. I wanted to read, "You little obnoxious brat" - for me, I felt you could do nicely omitting the "evil" (or the "little").
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I don't envy you your plane journey. At least I could get up and try to escape by going out on deck.
Still "every cloud...." At least I got something out of the journey and I am glad you liked it too.
You'll find most of my stuff works best when spoken. It's what I intend when writing and editing. My first anthology is going to be called "Rhyming Allowed" (sic) to stress the point.
Jim S -
hilarious
Oh Jim! I adore this! So your mum had five! Mine had six with a set of twins in there. I being the only girl. Trust me, all is not what it seems. I would say the love and the torture endured by my brother's was 50/50. I can relate to this so well. Having been on an airplane recently with a few little "angels" in front of me for nine hours!
You're right about the poem being said aloud. I find very often it is the spoken word that breathes life into them.
Off to read more!
~Michelle~
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7 of 'em. That beats my mum. She had 5, all lads.
Mind you I'm a teacher and I have over 1800 at the moment. I know they are a lot older (11 - 18) but some of them don't act it.
Thanks for the comment
Jim S -
this poem is sooo excellent and true, children are a blessing until they start to talk and walk then they are demons
take it from a mom of "7" -
lol. Sounds like fun. I'm sure it is very entertaining to watch. I really liked it.
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Thank God your true colours came out in the end Jim lad ; I was quite worried for a minute - thought you'd gone all soppy on me.
Both you and I know the only good little tot is a dead one
R. -
WOW!! This is great! I love it. Thanks so much for entering the contest, I see you read my IM!!!! Good luck in the contest! Keep up the great poems!
~*Jazz*~ -
Hi DarknessFairy,
Thanks for reading and writing.
Yes it was absolutely intentional. Try reading it to a friend nice and slow and gentle. The last verse is read a bit more staccato and then pause for the punchline.
I have done this one half a dozen times and the audience first look as if I'd just punched them and then collapse in giggles. Very ego boosting.
Jim S -
lol. I could only imagine how that would be... HORRIBLE!!! I liked it, it was cute... um... maybe that isn't what u were going for... but thats what i thought it was. Hm... u changed the rhyme scheme in your last stanza. Did u purposely do that? It sounds good, gives the last stanza a little something extra.
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