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Sweet Summer Song

Missing image

Would you sing for me on a Summer's Day?
Perhaps Bob Dylan's "Lay, Lady Lay"?
Would you dance for me under starlit skies
& count moonbeams shining in my eyes?

Would you stall the Dawn with a Lover's Kiss?
Would we, then, know the meaning of bliss?
Would you write my name upon the sand,
smile softly at me, then take my hand?

Would you whisper all the secrets that you know?
Would you lead me to the valley, far below?
Would you open your Heart to my gentle touch?
Would you, then, ache for me just as much?

Would you sing for me on a Summer's Day?
Perhaps Bob Dylan's "Lay, Lady Lay"?



      ~ August 8, 2005
             10:45 p.m.


Author notes




Background courtesy of Haran


Written August 8th, 2005

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 32 of 32

  • PageTurner
    September 16, 2007

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    YES!
    YES!!
    YES!!!
    YES!!!!
    YES!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    A million times YES! Are ya hearing me?Nicky♥

  • ian sawicki
    April 19, 2007

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    maybe, if you give some ahem no i won't go there, that is rude of me lol it is too early so i will just say okay, providing there's some rum


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 28, 2006
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    I'd like to "tangle up in blue" with you, Scribe...

  • Night Hope gold member
    October 28, 2006
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    {swoons even more deliriously}

  • Just Rob gold member
    October 28, 2006
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    YEP!

  • Night Hope gold member
    April 9, 2006
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    Thank you for hosting & for reading so quickly, crysalot14...I'm glad you enjoyed it..I appreciate your Time...Bob Dylan is a famous Poet & singer from the 1960's...He's still recording songs now...Be well, Poet... Wanda
  • crysalot14
    April 9, 2006
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    I like it...Pretty Who is Bob Dylan

  • Night Hope gold member
    December 3, 2005
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    Thank you very much for the gold, The Risen Sun...I enjoyed writing this one...what was a bit surprising was when my Friend Thoreau47 pointed out that it was actually a sonnet... I hadn't even noticed...I don't usually write rhymes, so I was more concerned with rhyme than searching for iambic pentameter... Thank you for a great analysis & for hosting a wonderful contest...I started writing in 9th grade English class, in 1973; my teacher, Mr. Kuhlman, played popular songs of the day to show us lyric writing...He played Dylan's 'Subterranean Homesick Blues' & blew us all away...as well as Crosby, Stills & Nash, 'Helplessly Hoping' (thus, my love for alliteration)...I love intelligent writing...Thanks again...'twas a pleasure...Be well, Poet... Wanda
    Edited on Dec 03, 10:24 because ''.

  • Raazi
    December 3, 2005
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    Meter- 8.5/10
    Flow- 8.5/10
    Content- 9.5/10
    Relevance- 8/10
    Personal opinion- 8.5/10

    Overall score- 43/50

    A BEAUTIFUL POEM!!!!!!I loved the way this was written. Thus, a 9.5 in content. You really did well here. The question thingy was really good. You can see my poem "why?", it has been written in the same sort of way. Well done and good luck!

    ~The sun has risen

  • Night Hope gold member
    November 20, 2005
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    Thanks for reading, Annalise...I'm glad you liked it...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Annalise
    November 20, 2005
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    Ah! Beautiful! Such a sweet love poem, so tenderly wrote with some wonderful feelings. True beauty in this write.
    Good luck in this contest.
    Bestest of wishes
    ~Meli~
  • Dull Red
    August 10, 2005
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    I could definitely feel the dense romance in this poem! Wonderful write and rock_on!!
  • AntisocialSocialist
    August 10, 2005
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    Cute poem.

  • CoolHandLuke
    August 10, 2005
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    Delicate, each breath leads into the next...thank you for the pleasure...Lay Lady Lay....

  • SimpleSarcasm
    August 10, 2005
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    Excellent

    I absolutely love this! I love the smooth rhyme of the piece, and you know I don't usually like rhyme but this piece was just fabulous. I think that this is the best piece I've read of yours it is defintely my favorite.

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 10, 2005
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    Right back atcha, Babe...you left some excellent lines here yourself...Thanks, my Friend... Wanda
  • Just4u
    August 9, 2005
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    " Would you stall the Dawn with a Lover's Kiss? "
    Excellent line here...


    Love drips, now slowly
    locked in fragment of time
    melting unity

    Hugs...Eddy

  • August 9, 2005
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    I thought this sweet and romantic, and the Dylan song, even unheard, flavors it nicely.
  • Lucid4now
    August 9, 2005
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    This was amazing. It flowed so well and the rhyming wasn't at all forced. I really liked it. The background was cool, too.

  • greeneyedmuse
    August 9, 2005
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    i liked this very much. it intrigued me and was the poetic eqivilent of "mindless entertainment" (which is a good thing) the backround is really cool. great write and keep up the good work.
    ~sammy

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 9, 2005
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    Talk about a double~take, Scribe!!! I wrote a sonnet?!? Holy Ned!!! roflmao I didn't even notice!!! hehehe Wow...now I am impressed!!! LOL I don't know about it being in iambic pentameter...kinda scared to look!!! Well...how 'bout that??? hehehe Hell, that is cause for dancin', then!!! Shall we, Scribe??? Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 9, 2005
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    Li, I'd rather be 'waxing romantic' than waning...hehehe Thanks, Sweetheart...Glad ya liked it... Wander

  • Jaded Lily
    August 9, 2005
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    Ohhh the memories you bring back with this one. Mmm, Bob Dylan. Oh Wanda, you are waxing romantic on us, but you are so very good at it!

    Lily ~*

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 9, 2005
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    Thanks, Ed...I'm glad you think that much of my writing...I appreciate ya, my Friend... Wanda

  • Airborne Ed silver member
    August 8, 2005
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    Romantic, sensual and just an amazing poem. The imagery your created is outstanding. I could see and feel everything within your beautiful poem... such love and passion flow within your poem.. hummmmm paradise

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 8, 2005
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    Thanks for your cool comment, ThisWayOutOfHere...I'm glad you enjoyed it...LOL Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 8, 2005
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    "Damned Romantic & Hopeful"??? Yep...that'd be me...hehehe Thanks, Moon Girl...thought ya might like this one...I dunno where I get this stuff...but I ain't complainin', either...hehehe Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 8, 2005
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    'Cream', Muddy??? Eric Clapton & Ginger Baker, no less??? Wowzer... Awww, Suh...ya flatter me so often & so well...hehehe Thanks, my Friend...I always love readin' your comments...I appreciate ya, Scribe... Wanda
  • ThisWayOutOfHere
    August 8, 2005
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    This is so romantic *heart beats faster* I absolutely loved this...

  • MuddyKing silver member
    August 8, 2005
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    This had the flow of Dylan...but had a tenderness of...hmmmmm....You
    why do I see a red rose in "the white room", this is a standout fo' sho'
    Peace Muddy

  • brown paper bag
    August 8, 2005
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    bravo

    Aww Wanda this is so damn romantic and hopeful.The words just feel like a stream of love flowing through pure veins.Bravo and I love this Helen
1 - 32 of 32