Would you sing for me on a Summer's Day?
Perhaps Bob Dylan's "Lay, Lady Lay"?
Would you dance for me under starlit skies
& count moonbeams shining in my eyes?
Would you stall the Dawn with a Lover's Kiss?
Would we, then, know the meaning of bliss?
Would you write my name upon the sand,
smile softly at me, then take my hand?
Would you whisper all the secrets that you know?
Would you lead me to the valley, far below?
Would you open your Heart to my gentle touch?
Would you, then, ache for me just as much?
Would you sing for me on a Summer's Day?
Perhaps Bob Dylan's "Lay, Lady Lay"?
~ August 8, 2005
10:45 p.m.
Author notes
Background courtesy of Haran
Written August 8th, 2005
In a list
- Rhymes • next in list
- Passion • next in list
- Form Poetry • next in list
- Inspired by Famous People • next in list
What did you think
Comments
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YES!
YES!!
YES!!!
YES!!!!
YES!!!!!
YES!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A million times YES!
Are ya hearing me?
Nicky♥ 


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maybe, if you give some ahem no i won't go there, that is rude of me lol it is too early so i will just say okay, providing there's some rum


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You gots it, Baby.
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I'd like to "tangle up in blue" with you, Scribe...
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{swoons even more deliriously}
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YEP!
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Thank you for hosting & for reading so quickly, crysalot14...I'm glad you enjoyed it..I appreciate your Time...Bob Dylan is a famous Poet & singer from the 1960's...He's still recording songs now...Be well, Poet...
Wanda
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I like it...Pretty Who is Bob Dylan
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Thank you very much for the gold, The Risen Sun...I enjoyed writing this one...what was a bit surprising was when my Friend Thoreau47 pointed out that it was actually a sonnet...
I hadn't even noticed...I don't usually write rhymes, so I was more concerned with rhyme than searching for iambic pentameter...
Thank you for a great analysis & for hosting a wonderful contest...I started writing in 9th grade English class, in 1973; my teacher, Mr. Kuhlman, played popular songs of the day to show us lyric writing...He played Dylan's 'Subterranean Homesick Blues' & blew us all away...as well as Crosby, Stills & Nash, 'Helplessly Hoping' (thus, my love for alliteration)...I love intelligent writing...Thanks again...'twas a pleasure...Be well, Poet...
Wanda
Edited on Dec 03, 10:24 because ''. -
Meter- 8.5/10
Flow- 8.5/10
Content- 9.5/10
Relevance- 8/10
Personal opinion- 8.5/10
Overall score- 43/50
A BEAUTIFUL POEM!!!!!!I loved the way this was written. Thus, a 9.5 in content. You really did well here. The question thingy was really good. You can see my poem "why?", it has been written in the same sort of way. Well done and good luck!
~The sun has risen -
Thanks for reading, Annalise...I'm glad you liked it...Be well, Poet...
Wanda
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Ah! Beautiful! Such a sweet love poem, so tenderly wrote with some wonderful feelings. True beauty in this write.
Good luck in this contest.
Bestest of wishes
~Meli~ -
I could definitely feel the dense romance in this poem! Wonderful write and rock_on!!
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Cute poem.
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Delicate, each breath leads into the next...thank you for the pleasure...Lay Lady Lay....
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Excellent
I absolutely love this! I love the smooth rhyme of the piece, and you know I don't usually like rhyme but this piece was just fabulous. I think that this is the best piece I've read of yours it is defintely my favorite.
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Right back atcha, Babe...you left some excellent lines here yourself...Thanks, my Friend...
Wanda
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" Would you stall the Dawn with a Lover's Kiss? "
Excellent line here...
Love drips, now slowly
locked in fragment of time
melting unity
Hugs...Eddy -
I thought this sweet and romantic, and the Dylan song, even unheard, flavors it nicely.
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This was amazing. It flowed so well and the rhyming wasn't at all forced. I really liked it. The background was cool, too.
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i liked this very much. it intrigued me and was the poetic eqivilent of "mindless entertainment" (which is a good thing) the backround is really cool. great write and keep up the good work.
~sammy -
Talk about a double~take, Scribe!!! I wrote a sonnet?!? Holy Ned!!! roflmao
I didn't even notice!!! hehehe
Wow...now I am impressed!!! LOL
I don't know about it being in iambic pentameter...kinda scared to look!!! Well...how 'bout that??? hehehe
Hell, that is cause for dancin', then!!! Shall we, Scribe???
Wanda
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Li, I'd rather be 'waxing romantic' than waning...hehehe
Thanks, Sweetheart...Glad ya liked it...
♥
Wander
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Ohhh the memories you bring back with this one. Mmm, Bob Dylan. Oh Wanda, you are waxing romantic on us, but you are so very good at it!
Lily ~* -
Thanks, Ed...I'm glad you think that much of my writing...I appreciate ya, my Friend...
Wanda
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Romantic, sensual and just an amazing poem. The imagery your created is outstanding. I could see and feel everything within your beautiful poem... such love and passion flow within your poem.. hummmmm paradise
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Thanks for your cool comment, ThisWayOutOfHere...I'm glad you enjoyed it...LOL
Be well, Poet...
Wanda
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"Damned Romantic & Hopeful"??? Yep...that'd be me...hehehe
Thanks, Moon Girl...thought ya might like this one...I dunno where I get this stuff...but I ain't complainin', either...hehehe
♥
Wanda
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'Cream', Muddy??? Eric Clapton & Ginger Baker, no less??? Wowzer... Awww, Suh...ya flatter me so often & so well...hehehe
Thanks, my Friend...I always love readin' your comments...I appreciate ya, Scribe...
Wanda
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This is so romantic *heart beats faster* I absolutely loved this...
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This had the flow of Dylan...but had a tenderness of...hmmmmm....You
why do I see a red rose in "the white room", this is a standout fo' sho'
Peace Muddy -
bravo
Aww Wanda this is so damn romantic and hopeful.The words just feel like a stream of love flowing through pure veins.Bravo and I love this Helen
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