Once in darkest night I awoke to a sound,
and it brought in me a fear quite profound,
as a ruckus rang down my corridor,
originating from the refrigerator.
Fearless as I was I picked up my bat!
Scanned the hall and searched for my cat.
Gladly she wasn't near the offending box,
just sleeping soundly on a pair of old socks.
What on earth could this rebelling thing be?
5 day old pizza or rampant turkey?!
That half eaten burrito that had made me sick...
or maybe the garlic and cheese bread stick.
(Gathering such courage i scurried down the hall,
**BOOM! CRASH! OUCH! @#$%!**
I swear I hardly made a sound at all.. )
Alas some how it was alerted to my coming
I had no idea bad food could be so cunning.
Biting my lip and with shaking legs,
I threw open the door and saw dozens of..
....eggs....
I laughed when i saw their tiny assembly,
a veritable chicken egg army.
Some in protest 'repent! Armageddon is here'
and i replied, 'now little eggies, why so much fear'
'Every morning you crack us! and eat two or three!'
as this the end of their reasoning, they bombarded me.
..covered in egg yolk and egg shell,
I rushed towards the door but i slipped and I fell
and everything went kind of black...
I knew there was no turning back
I began to fade away Yes I did
I told their leader to spare my husband and kids
...he said... 'You don't have any!
'well how about that....'at least have the decency not to harass my cat..'
I woke some time later to find
I was bound with duct tape and twine,
their leader was standing on my forehead looking down,
Smiling at me and I said with a frown....
'JUST WHAT ON THIS EARTH ARE GOING TO DO!?'
'something proper something fitting, and a bit ironic too..
my dear we're going to make an omelet out of you...'
Author notes
This really happened!.... dont believe me? hah, you just wait they will get you too.
Written October 20th, 2005
What did you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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Had to read this a second time
It so still hilarious!!
Schmitty -
opps lol! thanks for telling me! (the cats fine, and my ass was to big to fit in the frying pan so its all okay!)
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Brilliant! You used a rhyming scheme that wasn't forced, used some imagery(which made me laugh), and some descriptiveness which proved helpful throughout the piece. I hope that the cat is ok and that the omelette wasn't revolting...LOL! Well, I would like to mention that there were a few spots in this piece where grammatical errors and spelling errors(yoke should be yolk) to place, but they can easily be changed!
Good luck with your future writes.
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BRAVO !!!!!!!!!
I like the comical and bizzare nature of this piece .. It shows great imagination and a great play on words - 'I laughed when I saw their tiny assembly' 'a veritable chicken egg army' !.. LOVE the rhythmn in that couplet ! .. HOWEVER ,some of the verse seems a little awkward in the delivery and the natural rhythmn, (which I think is important in a piece like this ),tends to 'distract' just slightly .. BUT !.. nevertheless I enjoyed this very humurous verse and it certainly makes a change from some of the very 'dark' stuff that I've been reading lately ! ... BRAVO !! .......... I'm off to reads some of your other stuff ... -
yeah, i seem to have a problem with rhyming and my accent... I dont pronounce anything properly! every one else says damage....and i say damidge. I cant even begin to say the word drawer...its drawah.. and if i try to say it, it hurts me a little inside.. ..
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lol what are the chances that i should find an egg in my back yard ivy? was it an easter egg on the run......?
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very funny!
Oh thank you, thank you for a light hearted and very funny poem! You should have put them in the airing cupboard and your eggs would have multiplied in time!
I really am feeling very depressed at the moment, and so many poems on here just add to the depressions - to find like this is pure joy!
What can I do but applaud and thank you for sharing!
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That was hilarious!
Have you ever found in egg in the ivy in your back yard that had been there for over a yr? NEVER, and I repeat NEVER crack it. It was found, I went to put it down the garbage disposal and I when I set it in the sink as soon as it touched the porceline the damn thing exploded. And I mean a serious BAM. It hadn't even left my hand totally and my hand hurt for about a week. The SMELL from this thing was soo bad, we ran from the house and had to stay out there most the day.(My brother and I) When my hubby got home(boyfriend at the time) he went in and came running back out. He looked sooo green. They made me go in and open the windows. Worst smell I have ever smelled in my life.
This was a great way to start my mornin!
Hugs and bites, Lady Raven -
5 stars
LOL Oh my gosh. I can't stop laughing. This poem is awesome!!! Wow. You just made my day. And it sounded so traumatic!! LOL Awesome job! Keep writing like that, and the world will be full of laughter. :-) Awesome dude, just awsome. -
i loved this!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!! that was so funny! i loved it! unfortunatly, i'm a poor person living on my own at the ripe age of 19 so i can't aford food. yay for being safe from the attacking muchies, or are munchies a different story all togeather? THE NEED TO FEED>
so yeah, other then the fact that the first stanza seemed a litle bit forced in the rhyms, it's a great write, good luck in the contest!
yay.
jo -
Brillance at Work
Well every one already said it was hilarous and only because its true! Rhymes and all which is pretty darn brillant -
Very funny (though a bit scary at the end there to think eggs could eat us! LOL), and as someone who often forgets leftovers and takeout in the fridge for weeks, I can definately relate.
Rhyming was well done, but the rhythm was off in some places- still it kept me reading and got me laughing. -
Okay, I commented on the other poem that was a twin to this one
And here I thought I was the first to comment. I think I shall go cut and paste it in here.
'Oh! I believe you! I do! I do!! What a great imagination you have. This was down right, knee slapping funny. My favorite kind of write.
Best wishes in the contest-I'm off to read your next entry~vj' -
Wow... this was too funny. I think I need to go clean my fridge, before the same fate befalls me. Thanks for the laugh as I really needed it!
Best of luck to you in the contest...
~Frog -
that was hilarious...killer eggs..sounds like a story most of us can relate to...what IS in the back of the fridge, pltting its escape and world domination? great write, very funny, keep up the good work.
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so hilarious I almost wet myself laughing
Oh you have comedian talent you should do stand up....you would be great at it I swear...This was absolutely off the wall and so funny it beared reading again...Thank you so very much for the much needed laugh Keep on marching and watch out for those 
eggs
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Something to bookmark
OMG! This was so hilarious and the rhyming just made it better. I would tell you my favorite part but then I'd just be copying and pasting this whole poem back to you. Awesome job and thanx for making me smile on a rainy day!! -
everything is double......what the hell
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hmmm why on earth are there two of these.
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hmmm why on earth are there two of these.
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
10 old applause
