I stand there talking to you as if everything is normal,
I try to tell you that these are my problems.
That they have nothing to do with you and you should not try to help.
But you don’t listen to reason.
You stare at me with those eyes.
Its not like your regular stare, its more meaningful.
They seem to speak to me, telling me that I need you to help me.
That without you I will fall, but that you will be there to help me up.
I try to see past them, to the part of you I am sure is scared.
The part that wants to listen to me and run away, leaving me behind.
But somehow, I can not find it. Either you have hidden it deep within or its not there.
You just keep on staring, as if you know what I am doing and what I will find.
I want to turn away, but I keep on staring back.
And then I see it, the reason you just stare at me, not moving an inch.
Its not that I need you to pick me up, you need me to need you.
I try to tell you that I don’t want to see you hurt,
But you hush me with your finger, pressing it against my lips.
You tell me that the discussion has ended. That you will stay there, no ands, if, or buts.
I plead with you to leave me alone. But you wont hear it.
You keep on staring. This time I look straight back into your eyes.
Those eyes that can see into my soul.
I finally understand. I’ve been looking in the wrong spot.
I was looking in your heart to find the fear, but I needn’t look that deep.
Those eyes, they looked different somehow, now I know the reason,
They cant see into the soul. They cant see the fear in me, the fear about losing you.
Those eyes are the fear. The fear of losing me.
Those eyes, the eyes that stare.
Author notes
Written October 25th, 2005
A contest entry
- Love and relationships. by Sonofdead.
450 points, ended June 5, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me cry by Storm-Goddess.
300 points, ended November 11, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your Best by Black Raevyn.
600 points, ended June 13, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I AM LOOKING FOR SOME MORE FAVORITES by Swan song.
900 points, ended June 26, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 65 of 65
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i like it=)
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beautiful write indeed, so softly penned keep it up
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" To love would be an awfully big adventure." -Peter Pan.
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your poem is deep
you should really think about becoming professional. -
i love your poems they are really deep.you have a really deep heart
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great
i absolutely llllloooovvvvveee the ending
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its as beautiful as youre with the roses!
and i do not get where you think youre a hopeless poet cause youre most definitely not and i m very impressed with your methaphors and its a real emotional meaning that some of us forget when we look in to some ones eyes.keep it up and we ll be in a contest like that freind;
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wonderful poem
Your poem is very heartfelt and true to you. If you want suggestions,I can't tell you because I think it is perfect the way it is. -
Wow, Honestly i haven't ever gotten into poetry that doesn't rhyme a lot, mainly because it sounds awkward and discontinued. But you captured me with this you really did. You tell this story beautiful and from your heart.
Please keep writing.
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Beautiful...
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Amazing
I got chills from begining to end
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It is great
wow this poem has so much feeling in it you are great.
I love the part when you can read her eyes in the end. -
wow very full of emotion i loved it but is it about breaking up with here or the fear of loosing her i loved the poem a lot it was very beautiful and your heart was definetly into this write keep it up....
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very good
i like your style of writing...i think poems should be more personal...not to goof off with...u are a great writer
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wow i love this poem good job hoplesspoet1087 its realy good i wish i could right poems like you well right some more poems and keep up the good work bye
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I feel ya,
"Those eyes, the eyes that stare"
I know them well
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wow, i found this amazing, truly!
i was spellbound.
and i can relate so very well.
i seem to be in the same situation so many times, being the one just staring, hoping desperately to see what's wrong so i can fix it. so i can remain a while longer, afraid...
a truly beautiful write
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Wow
Your poem was great! I try to tell you that I don’t want to see you hurt,
But you hush me with your finger, pressing it against my lips.
You tell me that the discussion has ended. That you will stay there, no ands, if, or buts.
I plead with you to leave me alone. But you wont hear it.
You keep on staring. This time I look straight back into your eyes.
Those eyes that can see into my soul.
I finally understand. I’ve been looking in the wrong spot.
I was looking in your heart to find the fear, but I needn’t look that deep.
Those eyes, they looked different somehow, now I know the reason,
They cant see into the soul. They cant see the fear in me, the fear about losing you.
Those eyes are the fear. The fear of losing me.
Those eyes, the eyes that stare.
That there is a poet!
Fallen Hard
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Very interesting approach on a coversation in relationships! Not to many people can bring so much truth and meaning from something so simple as "Those eyes" Amazing write!
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wow.its like a poem / short story?
It was long and sooo meaningful and choice of words are great!!! check out my poems!hint,hint
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wow great write, i can really relate to it
simply beautiful imagery -
True
But the problem is you.Remove that ego 'I' in you and you can see that fear vanish.Anyway, complements for putting you thoughts so well.
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a great write to trust someone is very hard to give your heart away is the most scariest thing in life to share your darkest secrests and hope they will still be standing there when you have finished an awesome poem well deserved gold
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beautiful poem man i love it
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Interesting. There is very little to complain about here, just a couple of places wherein you used two sentences where one would have been better. Oh, wow! The horror! I know, I know. The great thing about this is the way it developes; first he feels all alone, unable to deal with his problems. Second, he finds that she still loves him and refuses to leave. And third and last, he discovers that in reality, she needs him, too! This is deeper than I expected it would be, and it's good enough to get you some bunnies! - ocerus
. Rewarded 8
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the weight of those we love and love us, when do we make us number one instead of worrying about how we affect others....a tragedy we often repeat in life...
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this is a very insight full write...eyes tell a lot about a person and are the very first thing I notice in a person...great job
. Rewarded 4
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I like this, a very insightful piece. We are all scared when we open up to people and getting past that takes trust, someone tries to offer it and another wants to believe it, but it is all risk.
I particularly liked these lines, which I felt were the most insightful of all...
'And then I see it, the reason you just stare at me, not moving an inch.
Its not that I need you to pick me up, you need me to need you.'
. Rewarded 8
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Wow that's an amazing poem! No wonder you got gold! Congratulations!
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wow thats a very good poem... sometimes ppl do look to deep into another soul when wat u need is right there on top
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great
I love those poems of yours. they just ripple through me! don't stop writing! my bff Chelsea is like this poem. she is the staring eyes, the one who won't leave me alone when I ask, and you know what now I'm glad. bye,starfire
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u won the gold?
Yeh u deserve it great write! x
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nice write it is sweet in a way
good flow keep up your writeing your great. -
That is soooo sweet
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worthy of the gold trophy. The form isn't one I'd choose for any of my work, but I love the way you describe the eyes, which are such trivial things that we face (should you pardon the pun) every day and this piece makes them unique and special. Very interesting and special. Wonderful job.
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wow. this is an amazing write. i loved it. i love all of the raw emotion pouring out of this poem. it has a lot of meaning behind it, and it really has a strong message. this is a very beautiful piece.
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Wonderful
This poem lept out to me and slapped me in the face. I'm in the middle of a separation and I wish I would've refused to leave and I wish my husband would've seen what you saw in this person. Thank you for writing such a meaningful piece.
"Its not that I need you to pick me up, you need me to need you." I love this line!
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AMAZING
Wow, that poem was so amazing. I wish that I could write that well. my poems are..."diamonds in the rough" we'll call them. Getting back to your poem. It was really special and so true. I especially liked this part: I finally understand. I’ve been looking in the wrong spot.
"I was looking in your heart to find the fear, but I needn’t look that deep.
Those eyes, they looked different somehow, now I know the reason,
They cant see into the soul. They cant see the fear in me, the fear about losing you.
Those eyes are the fear. The fear of losing me.
Those eyes, the eyes that stare."
Please keep up the good writing...
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wow.. this is really deep, brings you in and you go, woah! I am reading?? when you finish xD
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ohh so beautiful..
i love it!.. almost cried reading it.. its so powerfull and.. and.. beautiful!.. your a very talented poet....
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ur a beautiful kid and ur poetry reflects that. a sad piece but the eyes say it all,
hugs,
georgie,
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i love it.lots of feelings in it
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very good. i liked the flow in the emotion, you can see how it moves here. very nice.
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I like this it is a great poem of what love is. being there for somone no matter what. it is great and it really spoke to me ... keep up the good work.
~*mc*~ -
MAN! MAN! MAN!
This poem exceels far surpass my expectations of what it was going to be about... wow...nice, nice write. Very incredible job and your wording is percise and on point. The mood within this piece is so exhilirating, understandable, and very, very diverse!
I just absolutely and without question love this poem, simply and incredibly extraordinary writing! Incredible job!
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My gosh... this is so touching and sad at the same time. I love the realness in this amazing write. you keep it up because you are wonderful at expressing yourself
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your poem is so beautiful...i had someone who talked to me like this..but i couldnt handle it...sometimes its hard to take things like that in all at one time..{i learned how to}but i love it though! i really do love your poem!
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this poem is so full of love and emotion...i wish i was that girl..i had a deep but bad relationship....this is so beautiful...
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Wow.THis was amazing.
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-sigh-
Sad,meaningful....and just plain pretty... -
This poem is amazing... I love it so much!!!!
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*sigh* awesume
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beautiful
that is so deep, and beautiful. -
OMGosh
I loved this it was very I can't even describe it but I can say at the least one of my favs. now!! -
I like it.
~Tia~
GOD BLESS
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This is a very open and honest breathtaking [poem that I liked very very much. Thank you for entering
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I want to turn away, but I keep on staring back.
And then I see it, the reason you just stare at me, not moving an inch.
Its not that I need you to pick me up, you need me to need you.
I try to tell you that I don’t want to see you hurt,
But you hush me with your finger, pressing it against my lips.
You tell me that the discussion has ended. That you will stay there, no ands, if, or buts.
That part got me...good job!
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Good
I liked it alot. You have written a very good poem and I can feel the emotions from your words.
~Best Wishes~ -
Those eyes are the fear. The fear of losing me.
Those eyes, the eyes that stare.
This is, without a doubt, the best poem of its genre that I have read it in a long time. the background is simply stunning. Great job. -
very good write
nice job i liked this poem good luck in the contest -
This is a very nice poem.
I plead with you to leave me alone. But you wont hear it.
You keep on staring. This time I look straight back into your eyes.
Those eyes that can see into my soul.
I finally understand. I’ve been looking in the wrong spot.
I was looking in your heart to find the fear, but I needn’t look that deep.
Those eyes, they looked different somehow, now I know the reason,
They cant see into the soul. They cant see the fear in me, the fear about losing you.
Those eyes are the fear. The fear of losing me.
That bit right ther got to me. I don't understand why, but it did. -
Wonderfully written with deep emotion. The imagery is expressed nicely. It has a nice smooth flow to it. Well done.
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i really liked this poem.its like my favourite.AWESOME WORK!!!
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