Do you remember 'mister', the man from down our street.
No kids of his own but he gave us all a treat.
He worked with his hands making items out of wood,
Always willing to help you in any way he could.
Can you remember those things he cheerfully built?
Go Karts and Sledges and the adjustable wooden stilt.
Christmas lucky bags were prepared for everyone.
Full of various goodies to add to Festive fun.
I wonder where his counterpart can be found today?
But from our modern communities he's sadly gone away.
Another extra helper who never could do wrong.
Such altruistic behaviour is, alas, long gone.
But suppose you met his modern counterpart,
Giving all so freely from the goodness of his heart.
Perhaps you would suspect him of some vile disgusting crime;
Thus robbing your own children of a joyful, happy time.
Author notes
A colleague was reminiscing on her childhood and the first two verses are her memories. the second two are a comment on society today!!
Written November 22nd, 2005
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I Remember This Man
Your poem reminds me of a man I once knew in my childhood. This write is charming and very well written. I like all kinds, but I appreciate the ones that rhyme more because I believe they incorporate a broader vocabulary, and are more difficult to write. Thanks for sharing your work, I’ll probably be back to read more.
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Thank you Captain.
I felt strongly about this one at the time of writing especially the last verse. However following the floods last year I heard many stories of people helping each other that I was moved to write a more optimistic poem.
Jim
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Thanks 'dreamer.
Jim -
this is really nice, it flows well and i really like it....:]
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Thanks Kryspin,
I am glad you liked this and your comments are very flattering.
Have you ever seen a duck swimming? My poetry is often like that. It can look easy but you should see what's going on beneath the surface
I'm glad it doesn't always show!!
TTFN
Jim
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I must say, you're one of the few people who can rhyme and it's not trite or forced. it flows. also, you don't let the word choice dominate what you want, you manage to structure the wording so you aren't trapped. refreshing!
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Thanks for reading and writing Jake
Jim S
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HEY, GOOD POEM. I LIKED THE RHYMES, ALL I DO IN MY POEMS IS RHYME. BUT I LIKE THIS POEM. IT WAS A GREAT PEACE OF WORK.
JAKE -
you are very welcome!
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Thanks kitten. Those are very generous words.
Jim S -
this is sad and so wonderful at the same time... great job and you have wonderful talent... You did an amazing job on this piece of work... Keep up the ink flowing, the ideas on paper, and your muse wills stay inspired!
~:Kitten:~ -
Thanks for your generous coment (and applause). I'm glad you liked it.
Jim S -
Wonderful!
This was worth reading. I loved it and the rhyming is simply GREAT!!! I am obssesed with rhymed poetry and I cannot write good poetry if I am not rhyming... But this one was soooo nice! It was very interesting, meaningful and... well... rhymed. Hope you get to read some of my rhymed poetry too... -
Yes, I dso think this is better as poetry, ut that's just my taste. Others may well prefer the original version. Anyway, it is a successful poem that says something worth saying. Like much of your other work, I do wish it had a wider audience.
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now i know why my Mum misses the good old days, no matter what yuo could have fun anytime, with people like Mister much better than Santa, anytime is happy time
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now i know why my Mum misses the good old days, no matter what yuo could have fun anytime with people like Mister much better than Santa.
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Thanks for the kind words.
Jim S -
how true, I agree if soemone tried that today, making stuff for kids that weren't their relation people would jsut think he was a child molesteror or seomthing. anyways... good poem I liked it.
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Thanks for the comment. Chestnutn and ice cream bike I remember (I can still find the chestnut man in a few towns) but Sugar pigs are a new old one to me.
Jim S -
So many things from our childhoods have dissapeared, the Chestnut man, the Ice Cream Bike,the Luck Dip barrel etc. etc.
Unfortunately kids don't get half the joy we used to get.What about sugar pigs, goodness you've set me off now, Ros -
Thank you Shahrzad for your kind comment. When we all go back to living in happy villages rather than soul-less cities I am sure 'mister' and his friends will re-appear.
Jim S -
Thank you for your kind comments and sound advice. I can understand the intent. Now I'll see if I have the skill to make it work.
Jim S -
Like all your work I have seen, I think this is a worthwhile and memorable poem on an important theme. But I think it would be improved if made starker, with fewer adjectives. "Show, don't tell" - let the man's goodness speak for itself. You hardly need to say, just imply, that he was "happy, innocent" and what he made were "treasures."
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That's a sad but true nice story.You put it very well that how we miss such people today in the modern world.
Shahrzad
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Thanks for your nice comment and generous applause. I am glad it rekindled good thoughts.
I really must start a new category on nostalgia.
Jim S -
Thanks for your generous comments and applause. I'm glad you liked it.
Jim S -
good write
I grew up on a farm and we made almost all of our toys. Sometimes "Mister" would show us how to make something better or give us ideas on how to get something we needed. Thanks for the trip down memory lane! -
Indeed a very nice poem Mr.S. I enjoyed how you've told this sad little truth about the world today. Well done.
K. Castania -
Thanks for the comments.
Jim S -
Thanks for the generous praise (and the applause). This sprang almost full grown from a conversation at work about a real life 'mister'
Jim S -
boy do I remember "mister". is probably the reason I made a career out of working with my hands. The man hypnotized me for hours making things appear from a scrap of wood.
Molester ???? what the hell is that????? hhahaha we never heard that word when we were young. thanks for the memory. you did an excellant job.
Edited on Nov 22, 5:20 p.m. because ''.
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