My Mind

~ I know it's not what you asked for... but I put a twist into it!~


Everyone tells me I'm not ugly,
And not fat.
But how can that change what I see?
They try to pressure it into my head.
Compact all this self-confidence and self esteem,
Into such a tiny place.

I try to think like they do,
But I don't see the beauty behind the blue eyes,
The blondish hair,
And the pudgy cheeks.

All I see is the fat, that they call skinny.
The ugly that they call beautiful.
The stringy that they call soft and silky.
The shallow they call depthless

I try so hard to see what they want me to.
I hate disappointing them.
I can see how much they hate it,
When I just say what I think.

I really try,
I don't like being the way I am.
Always wondering if what I'm wearing makes my butt look big,
Or if it makes me look fat.

My mind,
That is one thing that I don't want to waist.
The one thing in my body,
That is worth saving.
Worth living for.

I see the potential for a wonderful life.
A college graduate,
Working woman.
Married, possibly with kids.

Not caring about what I look like.
Or what I wear.
Or what I do, because it's MY life.

The day when I don't care what I look like,
Will come.
Maybe later than I want.
But until then,
I have my mind.
And I'm not going to waste it.