The Breaking
I burst through the glass doors
. this morning
One hour and ten minutes late for work
. as every other day…
. Her greatest beauty
. is in
. ~The breaking~
My hair is half braided
. curl creeping down my body
Flying off like misguided space ships
. from the take off pad of my shoulders
. No one even turns their head anymore
. to the woman that is unravelling
. like a sweater…
Clientele follows after me, demanding
. as bad luck on stumbled feet
I separate in three unequal halves
. Looking for Dave, the owner,
. the keeper of my waking hours
. She revealed herself to him, late
. in naked marks of truth,
. between all the deceptive woven shape…
“Dave! Dave! They’re here for your meeting. I-”
He likes to make me wait
. Curve of his shoulder and back
. Are known with a visual intimacy alarming
The curve of his lips in enjoyment
. of my bound movement
. He has her by the foolish things
. she does without thinking
. That he tolerates with attentive motivations
Knowing what I am, a man eater
. by instinct or smell
A challenge sought to be controlled from
. the internal
And there’s a wait, a life time long
. before he’ll grant me his attention
“Good morning ------”
Drawing my name out,
. Emphasizing the syllables,
. for every moment I’ve been home
. away from him , his words and heat
. since yesterday
“But Dave, they’re-”
My coat is crooked
. Eyes wild of little sleep
So un-made and incomplete
. Count luck to remember socks
“Good morning…”
he says, in twisted smile and
. direct eye contact
I’ve forgotten my manners
. A little bird beneath the cat’s claws
. To mold me in the disconnect
~I’d forgotten my manners~
. Carefully spoken truths
. tickled against his ear,
. and seemed more suitable for courting
Frozen in my whirl of dishevel
. I hear his thoughts
. that seek to twine and twist me
. beneath… him
. Bow down to me little spider…
. acquiesce control…
. “Yes Dave. Good morning.
. I’ve come to tell you, your clientele has arrived…”
There is an echo back
. a tug-
“Very good. I will see them in a few minutes…”
(I’m not your wife Dave…
I’m not…)
Author notes
Well, I crashed the party. I don't know if it's decent or not, but I'm mostly just ranting about my day and my life in general. Feel free to throw it out, if it doesn't suit you. ^^-^^
The audio, if you're lazy and want it read to you:
www.dump.com/evst/
Written February 1st, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Are You Sexy? - Round 1 by Axelle Black.
500 points, ended February 15, 2006, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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well if this really happened to you , it seems intense.
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It confuses my brain....me likey
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Very different in a good way. You were feeling a great deal of thought with this. Thank you for sharing.
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I like the style. Very interesting. Good flow with a unique approach on the point of view. I like the "bow to me little spider" I had a boss with this kind of attitude but without the sexual untones.
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excellent
Different point of view..Everyone is important, Nice flow of words and a unique style. -
I'll definitely have to listen to the audio when I'm at the office in the morning (lest I wake my wife at this hour, and risk her wrath in the throes of my own insomnia). Just very good - I'm glad I stumbled across this. Your style is aboslutely wonderful and well-suited to your wording.... just wonderful.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
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LMAO!!!
I still think he deserves a swift kick in the balls...I do hope this is an ongoing series...maybe in the end she will bite his head off and leave it dangling as a suncatcher from her web...or at least something to scrape your shoes off on.
What a jerk. He probably picks his nose too. Don't borrow any pens. *
*
This is cleverly done, and so very witty. I really enjoyed it. I love/hate Dave for being so damn entertaining...
Peace, K -
I don't know... If you figure it out, let me know!
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Haha, I'll have to try it someday. Anywho. I don't know whose it would be except yours. But yer. Oh well. I'm blonde like that. And well, when I say something I mean... a moment in my life, or a movie, or a feeling. But I'm not sure. But I keep listening to it and I'm trying to find what the hell it is. It's really bothering me.
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Sex on tables... is painful. All corners and sharp edges and bruises! Not pretty! And yes, it's my voice, who's else would it be? And it reminds you of... 'something'? I'm a thing now?
LOL Sorry. I couldn't resist.
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Haha sex on tables. PBs funny. Anyway, finally got to listen to the audio version. I love it. Your (is it yours anyway?) voice makes me think of... someone or something but I can't really quite grasp what it is. Anyway. Great. I love the mixture of pain, exhaustion and yearning in your voice.
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Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh !!!
I always liked Dave, from Gilmore Girls, because he was going to end up with Lane and he was ADAM BROODY and then he had to go on the shittiest-show-on-earth, The O.C. and his life as Lane's uber-cute second soul had to end.
And your (kinda) Dave sounds creepy, and sexy, and like on of those incest-y movies, without the brother & sister part. Ahhhh...work relationships. The drama!!!
I also like your italics, which I must admit I stole. But mine are cooler...and yours are more poetic. I don't know what that's supposed to mean.
Sex on tables is bad...especially in a public work place .
Anywaaaaaaaaayyyyysss....
If you stop writing, I will DIE!!!!
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You know what I like about your poetry? It's that you seem to always have two different poems in one. It's like a word-buffet for the senses, and I'm always in love with the italics, the little asides you allow yourself, which truly reveal you on a different level than the rest of the poem. There are so many perfect images in here that I can't force myself to chose only one (and who likes that cut-and-paste thing anyway?) Suffice it to say, you da bomb!
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Sizzling
The style is so refreshing as an everyday happening that is easy to relate to woven like your silken web to captivate and hold the prey.Another office day.I think not it is a place of sexual currents with overtones and undertones.And the clinents wait for the meeting while Dave is heating up his space.He looks up and you are there.Very well told.And lots of luck in the Contest.Elizabeth. -
~eats your rose~
mmm.... Those are good! he he... -
Crap, I have to download it, first of all, and if I do, it'll take like half an hour. Lol, my computer is a load of slow shit. Sorry. I'll load it at school perhaps.
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Ok. The link's up!
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Aha. Thank you very much. That might be useful in the future.
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Once you have it on a file on your computer, go to dump.com and upload it. They'll give you a link to it.
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Oooh. Audio. I like that. How do you get that on the internet though? I mean I can make a file out of it. But don't know how to put it on the internet. If you'd be kind enough to teach me someday. Can't wait to here it.
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Actually, I'm just never sure, when I went to far into ramble, and right out of poetry. But give me thirty minutes, and I'll have the link to audio, if you wanna hear it, it came out pretty good.
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Throw it out? On what grounds? This is excellent. You know it is good and well if I'm mistaken and you don't, quit doubting your poetry. I really love it. Ok I'm rambling. This is very good, as always.
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