Face Lift
. I was the jaguar, plumed in peacock feathers
. Pretty for show
. But sharp and weighted in muscle
(played this company’s bill collector,
swift and agile
just like you requested…)
He came for me with fishing wire
. this day
And I felt the coming, donned quickly,
. my face lift of arrogance
The mask, tight and suffocating
. against my un-breathable skin
(no… no… not again Dave…)
Tying the invisibility of fishing wire
. about my wrists
He pulled me, a non-captive bred animal
. into the yolk of his office…
Never minding,
. gouges of my claws pulling in
(An accounting whore had flipped out to you,
when I mocked her stupidity
‘She’s lying Dave. She’s lying…')
Miss manager, flashed a false sign
. of security beneath ‘her wing’
As she fluttered in beside me,
. Assured in her own dominance,
. my protector
(you’ve other plans.
Brought her in here to show me,
there’s no one to save me from you)
You scooped my eyes in your hands
. Allowing them no quarter
. Drove the blade of your tongue
Straight through me
. For my trespasses of wicked lips
(they curved the way they always have
But you spoke like it had not always been,
that I was free to draw blood on the floor
You wanted your money, didn’t you?)
Growled the window to vibrate
. You pulled my arms behind me
. and bound them
Twisted my ankles together
. And gagged me back
“I wasn’t finished speaking!” (you were thunder
against my ribcage)
And I fell like broken bird wings
. The manager frozen in your shadow
As you pulled the fire from my irises
. Placed me,
. cold porcelain on display
“You should be happy I’ve handed you a pass-
I’m the trump card.
You don’t have to deal with them, I will handle it.”
Pulling my hair swiftly back,
. against the slope of convex neck
There is a breezes pulsation touch
. against a rabid creature rendered useless
Declawed,
. tinted glass slipped in place…
(just a paid for, whore)
Author notes
...
The audio:
www.dump.com/rzjh/
Written February 4th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- fire by Cat.
400 points, ended February 7, 2006, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Very interesting. I love the way this is written, too many people have lost the idea of poetry, the idea of painting the picture not telling the picture. Poetry is an art, and you are a talented artist. We need more artists.
Excellent job, I commend you. You have a way with words to be rivaled, I look forward to reading more of your work. Keep up the writing! -
Full of pent up frustration. You have a way of saying exactly how you feel. Good work here.
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really interesing. i like the tone it. very - original. all in all, nice job with writing this. enjoyed the read very much. was worth the read.
blu -
wow... brilliant work.. amazing. i love your opetry.. good luck in the contest.. im sure you will do very well
all my lvoe
jess -
i could never critique a piece like this it's truly over my haed. however what i will say is it was a great read which a pretty unique concept. the parts i did completely grasp, i thoroughly enjoyed.
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I had a hard day. I am in the mood to read something funny and I thought this was going to be about Michael Jackson or something equally rediculous. Like maybe Elizabeth Taylor with her belly button between her eyes or something. But this is good too.
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Hmmm. This was an interesting piece. Unfortunately, I did not get it. You used good vocabulary though. Unlike the usual every kind you hear. Maybe that's why I didn't understand it. I don’t know how the title fit in with the poem either. Maybe you could possibly explain it to me? I hope you have a wonderful day, and God bless you in all you do.
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Wow.. Very intense on the emotion. The iamgery in this, definently paints a picture in the readers mind, with vivid detail. Great job on this, I have to say. Athena
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This is perfect.. I think I would leave a place that made me feel like this.. Vocabulary, word play, flow.. just awesome. Emotion filled strong write. Yeahhhhhh!! This really is a breathtaking piece.. AWESOME!
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~~There were not only elements of mental abuse, but even a hint of the possibility that the boss wanted more than to make a display of the poet -- but to capture her sexuality as well. I know I probably butchered each thought much as I did last time I reviewed one of your poems -- but lines like "There is a breezes pulsation touch / against a rabid creature rendered useless," and "(just a paid for, whore)" incorporate not merely the battle of wills described, but to me suggest the desires are more than just power (not that sexual domination isn't its own power struggle, mind you).~~
I worry about that to.... -
OK, I saw this received an Honorable Mention in Mary Cat's and Al's "Fire" contest, and considering the other talent reflected there, figured it would probably be a "good one" from you. I wasn't disappointed.
I read the comments preceding me, and am worried/confident my own first impressions were 100% off-base again. I saw this as the flames of anger and soul burning in the poet from the attempted display and dressing down of her boss. There were not only elements of mental abuse, but even a hint of the possibility that the boss wanted more than to make a display of the poet -- but to capture her sexuality as well. I know I probably butchered each thought much as I did last time I reviewed one of your poems -- but lines like "There is a breezes pulsation touch / against a rabid creature rendered useless," and "(just a paid for, whore)" incorporate not merely the battle of wills described, but to me suggest the desires are more than just power (not that sexual domination isn't its own power struggle, mind you).
I understand why the piece appealed to the judges -- who of course are also on my favs list. As at least one other commenter has noted, it's very raw. However, beyond that, the fire that was thematically required by the contest is not merely present in the seminal lines cited by Mary Cat, it infuses the entire piece. This poem was written by someone who feels burned, and who is still smouldering -- downright erupting, in fact.
Well done, and understandably well-received.
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I feel sorry for the peacock... lolololol must have been on helluva a fight that he put up with the jaguar..
but Mary is right.. you certainly give us some rich metaphors and imagery to play around with and roll on our slippery tongues..
well done..
and good luck in this one too
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Holy Crap!
Just kick his ass already!! Men. Pfffft! Why can't they go and dangle their bits in front of their own kind where someone may care, eh?
This IS raw, and ruthless, like the pulling and strumming of tendons. I think you have well achieved the sound of raking nails across a chalkboard...you can feel the frustration and tension in every line. I want to send you my humble kudos as well, even though they aren't worth as much as some of the names I see on this page applauding this well written art.
You deserve better...and he deserves worse!!
clap, clap, clap!!
Luv, Kelly -
And I fell like broken bird wings
. The manager frozen in your shadow
As you pulled the fire from my irises
. Placed me,
. cold porcelain on display
I caught my breath when i got to this stanza- it's so perfectly defined and spent.
You are a master of unique images- you pull the breath from any given situation and breathe into it's mouth with new life- show your readers your unique take on things.
This piece is no exception of the quality of your ideas.
So glad you invaded my space here and gave this much poem to us.
m -
I thought, after I skimmed over this the first time, I might just give this a run-by applauding and go on...but I figured I owed a bit more to let you know how I felt about this.
I attach the word raw to your work, because you seem to refuse to paint over anything with pastel colours...and instead let the wounds show like trophies for the reader to view at their leisure. I think that is one good reason why I love your work so much...not only can I relate to so much of it, but it is real. There is no pretend world, only the nakedness, the ugliness, the truthfulness of a world that is gritty and disturbing.
This (to me, and as we know sometimes I hit below the mark) shows a struggle for domination (by the male)...and though there is a struggle against it, I also sense some submission, if only for the situation that calls for the struggle.
I found it odd that you used the fishing wire...for my relatable situation dealt with many fishing trips and whatnots. To the point now that fishing is synonomous (sp?) with infidelity/after hours meetings and all that happy horse shit.
It's like you are in my mind when you write these, as I always tend to find something to relate back to me and my different experiences with men.
For some reason, as I read these, I sense something coming...a sort of fireworks in these 'office' poems. And it definately has me hooked. Very good work here.
"And I fell like broken bird wings" <--- I love this line.
I shall wish you much luck in the contest...but I think you will do fine without the luck.
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The Office
This is an indepth continuation of life in the office and I wonder why you are still there.Imagery has a great impact of intrigue and a man who has pulled you into his world.Yes you are strong and beautiful and can handle it all as long as it does not destry your soul.This is very personal to your life and the way you weave in the every day rotine with all the abstraction and complications is brilliant.You have developed a style which is highly readable but carries an air of mystery.I applaud your unique and somwhat matter of fact tone.Great stuff.Elizabeth
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