Walls six feet high
I keep meaning to let down
Instead of a smile
There is always a frown
I tell you to leave
But I really want you to stay
I want to let you get closer
Instead I push you further away
You would think that seeing you slip
Would make me want to catch you
But it’s the fear of letting you in
To scared to let my emotions shine though
After all how can I get hurt?
You can’t lose what you never had
But how will I feel the good things
When all I worry about is the bad
How do I know if you are for real?
How do I know if what you tell me is true?
If I’m not emotionally attached
Why do I hate myself for losing you?
Why can’t I stop thinking about you?
Why are you the only thing on my mind?
Every word you said to me
Repeats over and over on rewind
I want to give my heart to you
I want to take your hand
But I have been hurt so many times before
You have to understand
Walls six feet high
I keep meaning to let down
Instead of a smile
There is always a frown
I tell you to leave
But I really want you to stay
I want to let you get closer
Instead I push you further away
How do I know if you are for real?
How do I know if what you tell me is true?
If I’m not emotionally attached
Why do I hate myself for losing you?
Author notes
Inspired by a Kelly Clarkson song.
Written February 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- Lyrics. beautiful beautiful lyrics. by Bweeveed.
300 points, ended March 7, 2006, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Suprise!! I love this one 2, lol. I've never been in that many relationships so I woudn't really know, but u write so well i can feel it anyway. And I don't listen to Kelly, I've heard sum of her songs b 4, but I wouldn't understand the conection between this poem and her music but i still love it. As Always.
-Hannah ^.^ -
Hey QueenT,
This is uncanny! It's scary how exact it is to how I've felt. Maybe I'm still feeling this way... It's super difficult. I want to let him in, but I feel like I'm still on the outside. Like I'm scared of feeling things I've never felt before. *sigh* Why must life be so difficult? I suppose it would be excruciatingly boring if it was easy.....
Kudos. Keep it up.
- NightOwl
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Very Honest and sweet poem/lyrics.
I like the line I keep meaning to let them down, it has so much more impact than if you had just said 'I want to let them down'..there's something very human about the way it sounds.
We have all been there, we know what we should do and we tell ourselves a thousand times to try to do it but we never get there........fear stops us.
Brilliant work! Keep it up! x -
WOW!!! this is awesome
I definitely love this part!!
How do I know if you are for real?
How do I know if what you tell me is true?
If I’m not emotionally attached
Why do I hate myself for losing you?
That expresses so much and in only 4 lines.. its awesome i love it! Thats exactly how i feel about someone.. but it will be aight.. everything will work out for you.... just keep your head up high and think the good not for the worse!!!!
Shannon*Leah (Keep up the great work) -
I know I've commented on this poem before, but tonight it felt to read it all new again. it's a difficult feeling of coming to new love after trust had been broken by a past love. so much that many times we reject what we so want for ourselves. you've expressed this well by this poem, Tamara, and it was special for me reading this poem again tonight...
Jo -
Taps your emotions!
BlondeAmbition~ This is a particularly poignant poem (lyrics) for me as it speaks to an inner demon that I carry with me always. My own wall seems to rise with each rise of the sun. I can certainly feel the pain and anguish expressed. It gives me goose-fleshed skin because it is so close to home. There are a couple of typo's or misspellings you may want to correct. Otherwise, it touches the heart and pulls at my emotions. Well done ~ Natasha
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omg wow this is so good.... you have used so much great emotions throughout this poem.... i like it how i can relate to what you have said... it appeals to everyone who reads it... we all get caught up on someome atleast once in our lives but unfortuantly it doesnt get any easier...i wish you all the best in your relationships that you have and yeh i hope that this character that you talk about in this poem doesnt hurt you too much...
but on with the poem, i like the way you used the lines
"After all how can I get hurt?
You can’t lose what you never had
But how will I feel the good things
When all I worry about is the bad"
this really spoke to me.... i know exactually what its like to be with someone but really never actually have them....but enough about me again... im sorry i just keep blabbing... so i wish you luck again in your writings and i hope to read more of your works...
be good and keep writing.....
from ShMuP
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not a problem, it was a great poem
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hey hey, nice poem nice rhymes... its lk u want let sum1 in but are too afraid of letting so becuz of past experiences, very gud write... thanx for the comment on my poem!
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thanks for your opinion, but calling it lame was a bit rude, constructive cristism I can handle but you were down right rude, I would never say something like that to anyone without offering advice on how to improve. Thats not feedback it was just plain RUDE.
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not a kelly clarkson fan but her songs do have great lyrics.you have written lyrics here that rivals hers.your words,to,me would call for a more r&b background.kelly is more pop.there are a few artists that would do justice to your words.maybe you have some songwriting talent that you should capitalize on.in this you captured all the emotions,especially the desperation that makes it heart-rending.this is a winner.
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Queen T---
I loved this. I think these words that you sing would keep an impression on someone, and have them singing it all the time. I really liked this, the emotion in it was intense, consuming my attention. I loved it.
take Care,
x PatientGrace x
Jasmine
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I wanted to give you constructive critism.. but I got so caught up in the emotion of what you were saying that I really couldn't find anything to critique. I really felt how you feel... Would make an excellent song.
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pretty good. it flows really well.
"I want to let you get closer
Instead I push you further away"-
i felt i could really relate 2 that, ive definetly struggled with that, pushing someone away when u really want them closer... even though i wasnt hurt or anything... i think u captured that really well. simple and clear and i think thats the strongest part in here.
i do agree that its kind of predictable, and som of the lines maybe need a little work.
'But it’s the fear of letting you in
To scared to let my emotions shine though"
("too scared..." btw.)
"Instead of a smile
There is always a frown"
"But how will I feel the good things
When all I worry about is the bad"
still, it is catchy and i feel like i think a lot of ppl can relate, saying one thing when u really mean anohther... and then the pain when they really do listen 2 what u say. theres a couple great lines in here.
"You would think that seeing you slip
Would make me want to catch you"
"If I’m not emotionally attached
Why do I hate myself for losing you?"
Edited on Mar 08, 8:41 p.m. because ''. -
Great poem mum. Its hard for someone who's been hurt to let down their walls, I know from experience. It sucks. But you did an excellent job portraying all that in one poem. It was beautiful. I agree with Cheekyfemme, Kelly would be proud!
Saddened Amber Eyes -
great poem mara!!! another fabo poem, kelly would be proud lol. KELLY ROCKS! xx
Baztam! -
I'm not familiar with much of Kelly Clarkson but for her stint--(winning stint, right?) on American Idol. I do like where you brought the inspiration of the lyrics title to a sense of your own poem, which actually is so on-meter that it feels to read as song lyrics itself!
good writing, Tamara, and best wishes to you in the contest!
Jo -
Excellent!
Wow. I really like this. You did a really good job. The flow is excellent. It is amazing how you can take a title and form a literary work this beautiful.
I dumped my ex-boyfriend because I was not ready for a relationship. Although I told him it was because there was nothing there. He hurt so bad for so long, and he still does, that was a year and a half ago. I REALLY like him now. I always have. But I neglect to go out with him because I am afraid I will hurt him again, hurt him more than I already have. My friends tell me that I won't hurt him, unless I plan it, but I like him so much that I ignore his attempts to flirt with me. The looks he gives me in class, the adoration in his eyes, they way he jokes around with me, with the eyes that say "you're beautiful, smart, why won't you go out with me?" He thinks it is him, but it is me. I hate myself for not being with him.
Thanks for writing this poem. You have made me realize this, maybe I will do something about it. I hope that you will continue writing and have a wonderful day! Good luck in the cotest! I hope you win! -
Woow I liked this poem! The way you put the two fellings we can have! I think you used just the right terms to say it! Actually I tried to write a poem on the same theme but I didn't like it! I thought it was too banal and you expect since (is that the right word??!!!) the beginning what was going to happen! But this one is really well done! It flows well until the end where I like the repetition of the same verses!!
Well done, continue (is there a e??!!!) writing like this!
~~sealover~~
sorry for my english, there are those moments where I can make huge mistakes!! -
i liked it but thought it was slightly predictable
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This is an awesome poem to me. I could feel the pain expressed in this piece. A lot of jerks out there if you ask me. Keep up the awesome poetry!!!
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There was a lot of emotion in this write. I actually felt like I was losing someone myself when I read it. It's really great. Nice write.
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I love this it has a very clear and true message I mean it is hard for people who have been hurt to trust in someone again and you expressed an honest thing in my favorite line:
"After all how can I get hurt?
You can’t lose what you never had
But how will I feel the good things
When all I worry about is the bad"
This is all too true I mean if you don't have it to start with you can't lose it, and most people think if you can't lose it then it won't hurt you...but my guess would be that it still hurts just not as bad. but the last two lines in that stanza are perfectly told...if you are worrying about the bad things you won't notice the good things and they'll lose their gift. I love what you have done with the song title this is a very good poem I think very worthy of applaud which will follow this comment.
Your AP Daughter
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This sounds like a confused person's mind. They don't know what they feel about the other and maybe things they have done have affected this. It's a very nice poem, good structure. I think it would make quite a good song as well, because some of the phrases repeat. Anyway all the best and keep writing,
x Stef x -
Love it!!
Oh, good write. Anyone who has been hurt that tries to let their walls down can find it very hard to do when they realize that if they let that guard down, they could get hurt. A very difficult part of trying to love again is the trust and faith you need to be able have with you rpartner, and if you've been hurt, it's so hard to make yourself love again. You deny it, and you hate it, but eventually, when you let your guard down, just a little, you realize you ARE indeed in love again, and that person returns those feelings, but they simply don't understand the pain and loss you have had.
This was very deep and very emotional, and I think you are a fantastic poet, and that you should keep writing. You have talent, and this could very easily be a song. -
WOW HOLY SHIT!! i love this write.. it explains so muchabout me and how im feeling also.... after daniel its so hard to trust someone again and this write explains it all.. wow its werid.. you did a very great jon writing this...
i really like this part...
I want to give my heart to you
I want to take your hand
But I have been hurt so many times before
You have to understand
I totally understand that.....and its so true....
Good luck with everything and i hope you can find it to trust someone again.... i know how you feel...
keep up the great work!!! your an awesome poet!
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