Mommy rocks me in her chair,
I see sun shining in her hair.
A soft caress from her hand,
The tender look I understand.
I see reflected in her eyes
questionings and sweet surprise.
Inside the womb we've forged a bond,
a lifetime love that grows beyond.
The rocker rocks, the sandman comes
I'm drifting off as mommy hums.
I heard her sing inside the womb
for months it was my silk cocoon.
At last against her breast I lie
sparkling tears form in each eye.
Happy tears come with her song
sparkling eyes show nothing's wrong.
Sleep comes as lids resist
until I feel each hand is kissed.
I rock so safely in her chair;
Safe and snug just laying there.
Author notes
Congrats Seth and Manesa, welcome new baby
A contest entry
- Babies :) Babyies :| Babies :( by Assisted-Suicide.
300 points, ended March 13, 2006, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Please enter, i'm making a baby book of poems!!! by perfectsunset.
450 points, ended May 21, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Write me a poem for a baby! by Crimson Viper.
600 points, ended August 27, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - NEW BABY! by Sun Singer.
600 points, ended July 28, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow. Totally blown away, this was WONDERFULLY done and is very reflective of what a good mother Manesa is, and will be. Thank you sooooo much for your entry, best of lunch in the contest!
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I like this peice. You did a wonderful job writing it! thank you very much for entering.
keep up your amazing work!
CrimsonViper -
Wow, this one left me breathless..
All I have to say is that it is BEAUTIFUL.
A lovely write with such emotion and deep thoughts of a mother's love for her baby.
Best of luck in my contest & thanks for sharing
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O WOW THIS IS AMAZING!!! This is deferent from others that have entered my contest because you made it from the babies perspective! And i really love that! Thanks so much for entering!! This is yet another entry that will make this contest even harder to judge!!!! GREAT JOB KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! GOOD LUCK!
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beautifully unexpected
Aw, hun, I don't think there's a mom or even a dad out there that can't relate to this endearing piece!
It just takes me gently back to when my beautiful teens were beautiful babies! Thank you so much for that...
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this is so oh so good love the imagery and the words flow with ease love this one thaht's for sure keep up the good work love to see more of your works thanks for sharing this one ... have a great day.
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I loved this piece. It took me back to my mother and also reminded me of holding all the children of my flesh. Some are grown and I remember regretting their littleness slip away. RC
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Inside the womb we've forged our bond.
A lifetime love that grows beyond.
The rocker rocks, the sandman comes
I'm drifting off as mommy hums.
This was super-sweet, the flow and humming still seeping inside my ears. I thought this was a lovely depiction of that most intimate of moments...that of a mother rocking her child to sleep. I think you did a bang-up job showing that tender moment and could almost smell the baby powder and lilac fabric softner mingling. Beautifully done and a real pleasure to read. Good luck to you in the contest. -
Very nice job on the rhyme in this piece..It never lost its pace throughout the entire read.....There is always that something special about a rocking chair......and this was a very unique addition to it... Good job on this and good luck in the contest.
Smiles your way >>>>> Sandy 
San-d
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This was beautiful.
Indeed, the AABB format is difficult, and often hard to pull off as it's sometimes difficults to find words that will fit the poem and maintain the flow, I think you did it wonderfully.
New mothers, and new children are wonderous things, and I'm surea ny would appreciate and know what you have written here.
A small error in grammar that I might point out in the last line, "and feel so loved just laying there." A grammar professor I once had burned this into my bones, "objects lay, humans lie, in all meanings of the word", so I'd like to say that if you changed it to, "an feel so loved just lying there" it would fix that one small error, and when you read it, the flow might seem more natural, and that much more emphatic.
Thank you for sharing this poem with us all, and for entering it in my contest. It was a pleasure to read. -
fairly great!
A sweet poem. Thought provoking in the trying to understand and remember infancy. Interesting to read and generally well written though be careful with the AA BB etc. format. It is difficult to pull off. You did pretty good at it though. You kept the flow and made it seem natural decently. -
I don't know what it is about the rocking chair that makes you sad..you seem to think I experienced something bad. It is just a poem about a mom holding and bonding with her new baby..rest easy.
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I have never been a mother, but holding a baby in a rocking chair, is really as gentle as you described here.
Great write. -
wow...a very powerful poem. All honesty, it brought tears in my eyes. All i can do is hope that is not a personal piece....that you experienced. If it is, you are a very strong individula, and thank you for sharing this with us.
great imagery -
Very endearing. Seems as if I have read it before. That could just be due to the fact of the familiar feel it has to it, and the common theme of love and rocking chairs. Anyway, you did a good job overall. I wasn't stunned and amazed but I do think you did a decent job.
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Aww!How much sweeter can anyone get?This is really great!It shows true love for a mother and child.Very,very loving and good imagery as well
Keep up the good work!
*Rose -
Beautifully written. I often find myself rocking our little one. Not sure who gets more benifit out of it.
A good poem.
John -
thats such a great perspective to write from, extreamly personal i like it
good job -
Thats such a heartwarming poem, sweet and full of love and strong emotions. I loved the imagery and strength of the words you chose. The only criticism I could make on this piece is that although the poem flows superbly with a steady beat, apart from the very final line doesn't quite feel right with the rest of the poem. Maybe it should read, "and feel so loved sat in that chair." Thanks for sharing this with us all, take care, Heather x
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yur comment was about 5:00 my time .. thanks for that. I'm awake at 5, but under the covers warm and toasty..so I know this took effort..plus everyone was busy and off your computer LOL. anyway thank you.
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Awesome, a mother who really takes the time to hold her child and adore the child is true motherly love..although, my mother was and still not that way, she pushes them away more than anyone could imagine a mother doing so. This poem was of coarse, precious(from above comment) I really look up to this poem and it's inspiring to all mothers and soon to be mothers. Great job!
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( smiles) Again, this is sooo beautiful. I sit and watch them together, watch my daughter kiss her childs little hands and it moves me in a way I've never known.
Thank you for these poems Mary
Roses at your feet
Raker -
8/10
Aww... How quaint. ^.~
Ta-Ta Lightling.
Emonquente -
This is so sweet and the flow is almost perfect. It flows off the tongue like sweet butter, almost.
I found a couple of spots I had trouble with and if you dont mind I'd like to suggest:
and see sparkling tears form in each eye
as sparkling tears form in her eyes
They sparkle showing that nothing's wrong there's nothing wrong
I feel something like this would help the flow.
The topic reminds me of magic moments that transpire between a mother and her child.
Rose -
This is so beautiful it flows like the rhythem of a rocking chair rocking .Well done
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This was such a warm and pleasent poem. Your words flow very well together, and you have awesome rhymes.I also like the perspective of this poem.you did some great work.
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