Doosh, Doosh, Doosh

I whole heartedly
appreciate
that you
care for me a great deal
but I also,
at the same time,
conflictingly,
understand
and accept
that you could never
love me a great deal
or any amount for that matter
I don’t think anyone could

There’s far too much
work to be done
on this decaying
decrepit
mortuary
filled with the bickering
howling
neurotic sprits
of invalids
and derelicts
so
I bare no grudges
hold not a soul accountable
for walking away
head half filled with regret
for such great deals of time
wasted
on something that cannot
be fully restored
or painted
with even the faintest touch
of beauty

I suppose, for a moment,
I shall digress

I don’t want
to have sex with you
I lost any interest
in the act
years ago,
I sincerely apologize
for the depths of clichéd stupidity in which this is about to sink,
I just want to hold you
In arms that have longed to hold
such a natural beauty
and I want to try my best,
my pathetic, unconvincing best,
to tell you that it’s not all
pointless
and hollow
and meaningless

but I know
that I myself
to most
am pointless
hollow
meaningless
and nonexistent
so it would all,
like everything else
I  have ever tried to start
and failed to complete,
it would all
be in total vain.