I feel your body close to mine
and I surrender my heart to you
I gave up on fighting
And figured there wasn't point in denying what's happen
I lost everything I had
that was meaningful and beautiful
All that I ever longed for is gone now
There's no point in denying that I'm drowning
Things will never be the same
My fairytale has shattered like a glass globe
Water hitting my cheeks
Hurting like never before
My restless heart can't take anymore
And I feel as if I can't breathe
How much more until it's too much?
Won't you just give me peace?
Did my Prince Charming die the horrid death?
Or is he forbidden to see his future wife?
I don't get the plot in this never ending fairytale gone bad
Help me to make this reality, what's happen to my dream?
Author notes
I'm no longer engaged, I'm no longer with Dustin, and I'm no longer the person I use to be. I lost my virginity the day before Valentines Day to Earl, when I was weak, and volnerable(because I hadn't heard from Dustin in 2weeks) and I gave him my viriginity at 17 years old. That's not bad, because I know he loves me, and I love him too. Problem is, I'm not inlove with him, and my heart belongs to Dustin. I could be pregnet, and won't know for 2weeks. It's more then a possibilty though. I will raise my baby right, and be the best mom I can be though, and I know Earl will help me and so will our families. I just don't know how my life has become this way 
Written February 23rd, 2006
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I'm so sorry to hear about this hunny I've been away for a week outside of Belgium and couldn't manage to get online...
These are mistakes we all make sooner or later, and there's no reason to be ashamed by that, cause flesh is week... but love goes waaayyy beyond that....
Hope things will turn out right for you darling...
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its alright babe...we are all human
Love ya,
Deena
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God damnit LaLa! I love you to death girl, but for the moment I am going to go into big sister/friend mode....Your life has become this way because you let it.....you control your fate, you control your life, put the pills and alcohol down, put the razor down, stop with the not eating, you are beautiful just the way you are, and your world will never stop spinning if you don't stop running in circles.....the past is the past we can't change it and the future will come when its ready, so live for the moment even if it means hurting people in the process.....just LIVE i don't know how much more i can stress that....hopefully you and dustin will be able to work it out.....but baby, you need to start doing things for you FOR YOU! Just take a stand, you aren't a doormat just take a stand and always remember that there are people here who love you.....
love always,
~Chris~
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Turns out, Dustin and I are still going to be together... I hope. We can work through this together, and I pray that he forgives me, for I've forgiven him for his mistakes, and I know he understands. I got 2 letters from him, yestarday and today. They made me feel loved, but sad at the same time. I feel like I not only betrayed him, but I betrayed myself. No I didn't cheat on him. I broke up with him first... and then things just, happend... I don't know. Thank you sis, for being there. Sorry I disappointed you. I've been baby sitting the last few days. Love you!
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Wow...I honestly don't know what to say. I'm a little disappointed but I am always going to be here to love and SUPPORT you, no matter what. SHIT HAPPENS! A matter of fact I was telling Our Chris just a week ago how I thought I may be pregnant, and if I was, it wasn't going to be Simba's (long story, it happened AFTER the breakup and I will tell you when I call you tonight ) but I'm not going to be a mommy anytime soon and if you are, you know I will be the proud Aunt as I am and always WILL BE the proud big sis of yours.
I love you and I hope things will get better
Your Sara Dawn
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Oh my darling darling sister, I wish that I was there to hold you tight and make this better. I don't really know what to say, except that you are a strong woman to admit this and to make the choices you have should you become a mum. I'll be here for you then too
♥ Shari -
wow i am speechless. this is another amazing poem that took my breathe away. i am sorry things are looking down hill for you. know that i am here as a support for you. i will be your solid friend through it all. love always me
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I love it almost as much as i love you
you stilll have me and i love you with all my heart anmd always will. I will stand by u and help u and be here when u fall to pic u back up. You havent failed or changed, your growing and giving into needs that we have and give into. this is not a weakness. it doesnt make you different and i know u would make a wonderful mum and i have all the faith in world in you. You are my princess and my rose and althoi u think u fail to me ur a growing rose that gets more and more beautiful with every growing day. You give me hope and inspiration to carry on and be a better person. And to be a better writer. Your my beautiful LaLa and i love you.
Kat xxxx -
I think that this was a great poem, and certainly displayed your feelings quite well. You do not need a dad to raise a child, believe me I know. Be strong for yourself and for the life that may be present in your womb. Just because things are horrible now, doesnt mean that they will remain that way.
♥
-Crimson- -
wow...you just described love sooo well...wow!!! i loved these lines
" lost everything I had
that was meaningful and beautiful
All that I ever longed for is gone now"
keep writing cuz this was amazing
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