It was so perfect
everything i ever wanted to have in a relationship
right before me
I thought it was real
Everyday
My whole thought process
every breath every heart beat
every subliminal inkling
was so much different
then 1 night
it changed
u never called
ever
u left me in a state of disbelief
cliches aside
my heart hurt
i could feel a sharpness
Im sorry i got in the way of ur summer
Im sorry if i waited for u everyday afterschool
im sorry if i quit football for u
i made drastic changes for u
and here i am
Dismantled
Dissarayed
I hadnt cried in a while
since my mom died
but i guess thats how things go
Author notes
Written February 23rd, 2006
What did you think
Comments
-
I really can't get on with 'u' or '1' or 'ur' - I am all for language developing - but talking like you text really has no appeal for me. This is okay, it just never really takes off, it reads more as a striaght diary entry - rather than words crafter and made into a piece of poetry.
There is a good expression of feelings here and an honesty, both valuable - if you could harness these and continue to improve your actual writing you would have more chance.
An honest heartfelt piece.
James
Adding your comment:
