I dreamed of yesterday
But only found today
Hoping for tomorrow
Wondering if I will survive another day
Depression has consumed me
I'm a prisoner within my own mind
There is no escape
I'm trapped here for all time
I wear a mask of happiness
But deep inside I'm in pain
My soul bleeds from open wounds
With every slice of my veins
Rid me of this mental anguish
Take away this hurt
The scars on my arms
Are getting harder to cover by my shirt
The anger is so strong at times
And my pain becomes too much
I long to feel the calmness
Of the blades non forgiving touch
Scars tell stories of the pain inside
Revealing secrets we try to hide
Some go unnoticed
The ones we want seen
While the ones we self inflict
Many say is gross and obscene
Every morning I wake and find
Myself still here
When last night I prayed
I had cried my last tear
Don't call me selfish
For it is me that must decide
Why is it so wrong
To live
To die
By suicide
Author notes
Written March 2nd, 2006
A contest entry
- Dripping Pain's Poison by BloodyCrystalEmbers.
350 points, ended May 11, 2006, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Wow...
Wow. Hey there. It's been a long time, eh? I saw that you wrote a new poem so I had to comment. Very, very touching. What a line: "to live, to die, by suicide". Oh, I'm sorry for not commenting in a while. It looks like you are surounded by people who care about you here, and never forget that there's another who loves you more than you could ever imagine. You know that our love as people is fallible but God loves you so incredibly that He died for you. "This is the kind of love we are talking about--not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God." How cool is that? He's always there and He loves you so much!!
David -
I wrote this one night when I just had no more tears to cry. Someone had noticed my scars on my arms and asked me why. The crazy thing is they didn't understand my explanation. I do it so I don't die. They then started saying how I was suicidal and how wrong it is. So that is how I got the last couple of lines.... why is it so wrong to live to die by suicide. People just don't understand sometimes that the feelings inside are just ripping you apart and on the outside you look fine to everyone but truly inside you feel that you have already died
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Wow, honey, such a raw and emotional piece, you wrote it so well, and I can really relate to this on so many levels, i truly understand what you are saying in this, pain is never easy or fun, but then again neither is life, and pain is part of life, i wish it wasn't. I loved how honest you were in this! And I feel for you!Take Care of yourself honey and I hope you are doing better now!
The only thing I ask is can you please tell me what made you write this? i mean it is pretty obvious, but I would like to know in your words...can you please put it in your author's comment box for me please, I did ask for this in the rules, and i'd really hate to DQ you for not doing so...Sorry if this makes me seem bitchy, but I did put it in the rules. otherwise i loved this poem, the emotions were so honest and you expressed yourself well!Take Care!
~Terri Anna~ -
You are a deep qriter, my friend...and in many ways, I am too...I will read more of your work...I surely will...take care, myfriend
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