Dear Friends...
Accept my gratitude
(Not to send thanks would be most rude!)
For flowers, sweets, get-well cards, cake, fruit,
(My locker-top's awash with loot!)
But one gift, though most kindly meant,
Rather frustrates your good intent;
Though you were right; if I could choose,
There's no gift I'd prefer to booze!
But having just lost my left breast
I'm told "Sobriety is best" -
Or rather (not to tell a "story"!)
The Doctor says it's mandatory!
At least till they remove the "drain",
I have to keep both gut and brain
Free of all fluids that can cheer!
Yet (Woe is me! Alas! Oh dear!)
So many gifts have come in bottle
To tempt the palate and the throttle
(If you'll forgive that archaism
For 'throat')! If only through the prism
Of vodka, "single malt", liqueur,
I could perceive the world, my cure
Would, I am sure, progress much faster...
But here the Doctor must be master -
And he proclaims they are taboo!
Well, what he says, I have to do!
But oh, the misery implied!
Consider this, I might have died
Under the knife, so surely he
Could allow one wee dram for me?
No, he will not! And furthermore,
There is no guarantee my store
Of booze will last till I can leave
And take it home! For (please believe!)
All the "kind souls" who visit me
Are so weighed down by sympathy
That (seeing me denied one sip)
THEY all take a substantial "nip"!
Author notes
I hope this will appeal to you and to Mrs O'Shea. My onclologists - attribute the "ease" (!) with which I have come through the whole treatment process to the fact that I could laugh at it. (Though, if that was "easy" I hate to think what "difficult" would have been like!). They have taken these poems to circulate among other patients!
A contest entry
- Support for Cancer Victims by greyhaime.
400 points, ended August 25, 2006, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pete's Contest In Honour of Alcoholic Excess by Sweet Pete.
400 points, ended December 14, 2006, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1000 pts FOR YOUR FUNNIEST CRAP EVER! by One Eunique Pixie.
1150 points, ended April 10, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - im in need of laughter (for laugh-o-holics only) by Xsafety glassX.
450 points, ended May 14, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Humour Writing at Its Best by Zeus the Woman.
335 points, ended June 16, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cheer Me Up... by 2lullabyhaven.
550 points, ended August 31, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What are you thankful for? by daviscth.
500 points, ended November 15, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Power of Gratitude by Auburn Sunrise.
600 points, ended February 2, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - DRINKING by Beautiful-N-Broken.
450 points, ended February 6, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To Laugh and/or Cry by rhyana.
525 points, ended June 12, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Something To Make Me Laugh by Fire-Fly.
500 points, ended July 2, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Breast Cancer Survivors and Family Members Unite! by Rainydaywoman.
550 points, ended September 6, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Upcoming Surgery Uplifting. by Poetryintheblood.
510 points, ended October 2, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Breast Cancer Awareness Month - Think Pink! by Hekate.
900 points, ended November 1, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Breast Cancer- Mrs.O'Shea by Undercover Elf.
700 points, ended November 23, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
PLEASE do not feel obliged to comment...
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Just as I said before, too bad we couldn't imbibe at the time! I hope you have done your share since! all the best, Vera.
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Haha! I love it. You make the most feared seem funny. I can't express how this cheers even me up
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Wonderful write.. often its the rest of the family who suffer more then the "victim". as watching helplessly is all you can do... I wish you expedience with your own battle, and also good luck in the contest
Rob...
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I love this for the simple fact it's exactly what I am looking for in the way of uplifting someone when nearing surgery and the worry of all, thank you for your wonderful entry and attitude, good luck in my contest, Josie
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This was quite the write, filled with hard choices. Thank you for this fine entry in the contest.
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Yep truly deserving of its award Wonderful to read congratulations
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Ha!
Oh my! This one no doubt hits home... the drain, the lack of a nip, this one hits me deep in my heart and funny bone. Alas someone else has understood all this! I am just running through the first (and few) entries, and wanted to say thank you for entering my contest!
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This is a really fun way to look at the situation. Enjoyed reading it very much. Thanks.
Well done and good luck in my contest. -
enjoyed this, muchly so. perfect concluding lines - oh the misery of seeing such bounty flow down visiting gullets with nary a comforting drop to smooth a dry throat! a tactful reminder that things could always be worse too.
can't really find much to be critical of. throttle/bottle could've been rough but you turned it into an amusing little side note instead which fit in nicely with your overall theme. the way you broke the phrases up within the rhyme and uncommon pairings kept it from seeming forced.
up at the beginning i might have punctuated fruit a little differently and the ellipsis after master could be dropped, the repetition seems to be visually in the way to my eye. both minor points which do little to change the overall content.
thanks for entering!
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Regarding your comment on "Thank-you (?) letter from hospital), I have changed the pluridots after "master" to a dash, which may be easier on the eye. The possible impediment to reading caused by two sets of pluridots at the ends of successive lines had not, I have to say, occured to me. But I shall bear this in mind for the future! I normally work on my poems by ear, not on the page, and only write them down when I feel they are ready to face the world. This means that sometimes I am puzzled as to how to punctuate them! (I had an even more difficult problem once, with a poem about someone losing touch with the passage of time, which, as sometimes happens, had come to me, fully formed, in a dream, and I simply did not know whether it should say that for her the days were linked "one to a nameless other" or "one to an aimless other!")
I have to say that your comment on pluridots was perhaps the most relevant and useful comment I have received in my whole time (two and a half years) at Allpoetry! -
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glad it was helpful!
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great write!!
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LOL!
It's not funny... but you wrote with such a sense of humor that it's just contagious and I can't help laughing.
I love your style, you know. I mean you have real class.
After I finish this comment, I'm adding you to favorites.
I love the rhythm, the rhyme and your interesting puns.
Thank you so much for entering this gem of a poem!
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I simply love the way you captured the seriousness of something life threatening to turn it into such a light hearted read. This poem is wonderful!!! Thank you so much for posting in my contest and I wish you all the best. Cathy
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Funny, thanks for your entry into my contest. lol
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Laughter is the best Medicine!
You've taken quite a distressing and serious topic - and with your wonderful wit allowed for a smile to shine through!
I knew this would be wonderful!
Thanks for sharing!
Tang
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thanks for entering.
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thanx for entering...this made me laugh so hard my eyes r watering...
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Very nicely written. This has flawless flow, and that I love. I am a stickler for flow. The topic was cute, but no so much of the funny. thanks for sharing. love and peace, charlene.
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I liked this effort - I feel that doctors can be judgemental about alcohol. I went to the quack last year and found out I had raging blood pressure. The quack asked how much I drank a day, I said oh we usually have a bottle of wine at lunch and another bottle at dinner. He said, 'That's quite a lot, even between two people,' and I replied 'My spouse doesn't drink.'
I hope you are recovered now!
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Not judgemental… Some drugs simply do not mix with alcohol…
Once I progressed to the chemotherapy stage, the “guidelines” were: ‘Diet should be based on “A little of what you fancy.” Alcohol may be taken in moderation’. Unfortunately, one of the side-effects of chemo is that it destroys the lining of the mouth and throat – and alcoholic drinks – unless VERY dilute – are agonizing to swallow!!!
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thank you agian,
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I loved it, thank you for your entry...
Many blessings-
Krystal
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I like this one. Very cute. But it didn't make me laugh aloud. Thanks for entering though, for if you hadn't I wouldn't have the chance to read this little ditty...
Your total score: 7.8
Chocolate Spear of Destiny -
excelent
Vera, laughter truly is the best medicine, and you've provided a more than ample dose of it here. I realy enjoyed reading this poem.
(p.s. My late Ukrainian grandmother loved the poetry of Taras Shevchenko (is that how his name is spelled?), so I was delighted to read your biography stating your translations of him and others)
Keep up the wonderful works!
Nevada -
lol your comments are too funny, this was very well writen poet, thanks for sharing, keep up the awesome poetry here!!!!!!!
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Quoting from King James: "Laughter doeth the heart good like a medicine"! I enjoyed laughing with you and you are well deserving of a toddy.
You will be home in no time flat (okay, you have your British colloquialism--now let me have mine). - Prayers & hugs, Belle
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Vera, you are a tonic yourself and one very brave lady.Your poem touched my heart and I truly hope that one day we can share
a wee dram together. Thankyou for the laugh and best wishes for a speedy recovery. Val.
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Vera, you are a tonic yourself and one very brave lady.Your poem touched my heart and I truly hope that one day we can share
a wee dram together. Thankyou for the laugh and best wishes for a speedy recovery. Val. *hugs*
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