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Hold close dear one

 

 

 

Hold close dear one
and I will protect you
from all the evil things
that humans do

Listen to my heartbeat
that pounds against my chest
no one will harm you here
We can finally rest

We were once many in numbers
until they came along
They slaughtered us in thousands
both the weak and the strong

Now we live in captivity
It's the only way to survive
you will never know the pain I've felt
you will grow and you will strive

I will stay right here beside you
while they point and stare
Never be afraid dear one
even though it is unfair

Hold close dear one
they know not what they do
they are just stupid humans
walking through the zoo

Author notes

User name is stingersinger53
Cayla

Endangered animals

A contest entry

What did you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • poetic-enigma21
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    oh great... this is one unique and heart felt poem ..especially on endangered species that i was really looking for in my contest..
    i loved the last para ..
    Hold close dear one
    they know not what they do
    they are just stupid humans
    walking through the zoo..
    you should get it published may it would be an eye opener for some...
    thanks a lot for your entry
    good luck
    cheers
    shilpa


    • Stingersinger53 gold member
      October 19
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! I'm glad it was what you were looking for! Good luck with the contest!

      Hugs!
      Cayla

  • Missa
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    can you please tell me your username so I can credit you?

    • Stingersinger53 gold member
      October 3
      Edit | Reply
      Not sure if you got the 1st reply so I'm doing it again. I'm glad you liked my poem and my user name is stingersinger53, but my real name is Cayla.

  • Missa
    October 3
    Edit | Reply
    omg! i love it!

  • Symphony
    October 3

    Edit | Reply
    This was wonderful, especially as you seem to agree with much of my outlook on zoo's .. i have one you might enjoy, called a trip to the zoo, or something similar best wishes for the conteset

  • wolfcub
    September 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awww that was so sweet. It could be about anything - not just life in the zoo. I could feel everything you put into this - great write!
    Thankyou for entering and good luck in my contest.
    Katie

  • xoxohorses13xoxo
    July 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW I LOVED THAT POEM IT WAS 1 OF THE BEST IN MY CONTEST AND I LOVE HOW YOU ARE FEELING ABOUT THE BEARS THAT WAS WONDERFUL AND I WISH ALOT OF POEMS SOUNDED LIKE YOURS

  • Stingersinger53 gold member
    April 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the nice comment!

  • Hadji Murad
    April 14, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, awesome write! Great flow and ideas!

  • Stingersinger53 gold member
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the points!!!

  • wishintreeUK
    March 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for an excellent piece of writing. Your can be proud of your rhyming, your poem flows well from start to finish. When we look back at how the elephant herds have dwindled because of man's greed, how they have been slaughtered for their tusks, we can see why they need protecting against such a terrible and life-threatening happening. All animals ought to be free to live out their lives in their natural habitat, that's what was supposed to happen, instead... they are slaughtered because of man's greed. Well Done and thank you for writing your poem for my contest

    ~Katie~

  • Stingersinger53 gold member
    March 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for the comment! And good luck to you also!!!!

  • Ryno
    March 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    GREAT JOB!! the only thing i feel "odd" about is the ending doesn't seem as strong as i feel it could be, keep up the good work
    -ryan
  • ocerus
    March 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This is childish but completely charming. I always felt bad for the animals in the zoo. I always wonder, "What are they thinking?" Especially lions and tigers! In the wild they'd eat us like candy, but in the zoo we just stare at them and even insult them, or at least make fun of them. Kind of ironic to see something like that happen to the king of the beasts, huh? - oce

  • doughjoe silver member
    March 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I should have known I'v already commented on this but I love your writes you are so talented doughjoe says it all the time LOLM another applaud for you
  • Painpoet
    March 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wow very well written unfortunately there is so much truth here but if not for the zoos there would be none of these great animals left. Very well done my friend very well done

  • Viyanna Rosemarie
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I will stay right here beside you
    while they point and stare
    Never be afraid dear one
    even though it is unfair

    Hold close dear one
    they know not what they do
    they are just stupid humans
    walking through the zoo


    WOW!!! i have a write about a gorilla in a cage that reminds me of this, only you did a much better job than i did. congratulations on a job so very well done. i have read some of your other writing and did not realize how young you are. i am impressed. viyanna r langager
  • kat14903
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this is a truly amazing written thought out piece for someone so young to write. beyond your years in talent and form as well as expression. this is truly a winner. i give you an A PLUS!!!!!!

  • grannyeri gold member
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Nice write - easy to read and understand- a heartfelt poem that shares with us your feelings about zoos and caged animals.

  • Stingersinger53 gold member
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hey You! Thanks for the sweet comment! Sorry I've missed you lately...Maybe I'm avoiding you now that you've become my evil stepmother....Hummmmm...LOL...not really! Hugs & kisses- Always!
  • lillmissunshine
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Hey i see we entered the same contest. WEll good luck in this contest also Very good writing though.

  • Miss DontTouchME
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    awwww so sweet. but sad, though. I like this poem so much, cute! really, really good. a mother, worrying about her baby. I saw the pic. this is soooooooo incredible!
  • fluofontis
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    aww hunny that is such a sad poem, yet hopeful... great job, and really awesome point of view. it is hard to hope when you are born and raised in circumstances created by one who has no interest in personal growth. that is what i extrapolated, but where most would give up, your animals here keep on hoping... ::sigh::
    LP&CG
    Your future evil stepmother
    Liz

  • Ativan
    March 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hey this is a good poem! I especially like the last stanzza--- it was all very good and well writen. Keep it up.... M.T.B...

  • EvenStarsFade
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very interesting point of view. I like it!
    Sarah

  • doughjoe silver member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    another great write by you sting where have yoy been I miss you IM real soon LOL I applaud this poem

  • Ellis gold member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Outstanding Writing

    This is very moving
    It almost made me cry
    It is not amusing
    Caged until you die

    Tiki Cat
  • sealover
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Wooow well done! This poem os brillant! Makes me cry however. I hate zoos and never go to them! Ifind them stupid and uniteresting but mostly I hate to see the animals in cages moving back and forth! brrrrr it's horrible.

    Anyway, your poem is very welll written! You pass the message of the mother elephant very well and what you say is so true. Also it goes so well with the picture! I love the tone you use. Accusing humans of their monstruosity towards captive animals. Would we like to be in cages?
    I looove this poem!

    Well done and best of lucks for the contest!

    ~~sealover~~

  • wishintreeUK
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering my contest. I am leaving all comments until the end of the contest, that way everyone will have a fair chance

    ~Katie~

  • rainyday woman silver member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    EXCELLENT

    I will say it again you are an old soul , you you have such an understandiing of things that is way beyond your years. If you don't win then something is wrong. Love you kiddo, keep up the great work. Grandma Cheri.

  • misticmoonlite gold member
    March 11, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    nice write here for this contest good choice of words keep penning and good luck in the contest ..my sweet granddaughter..love ya grams..
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