carried on in a world of nothingness
once again i find myself alone
to face my own demons
and the ones that i don't even own
trying to pull myself together
and stop from falling apart
i don't know how to hide
this broken bleeding heart
sleep won't come easy
in this hollow, cold place
i don't know how to word this
other than i don't want any space
the more you ask questions
the more i can't talk
you come to catch me as i fall
damn, i can't even walk
truly i wouldn't make it
without you at my side
you give me a place to go,
you give me some where to run and hide
Author notes
when your own blood won't come to help you its really nice to know taht you have something.
Written March 11th, 2006
A contest entry
- Something I'll Like by Frodofan.
300 points, ended July 30, 2006, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Going through one last time before judging...
Still as nice as before.
Capitalization, etc. would definently make this look more elegant. But I think you have a really nice piece here. Thanks for sharing it!
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nice job
This is a nice example of rhyme in freeverse. Again, punctuation would help, but I think this is the best of your entries. It reads more easily and the rhyme keeps the reader reading... me anyway.
I liked the line, "i don't know how to word this" because it makes the piece feel more personal. Overall a very nice write.
Thanks for entering. There will be another comment during judging. -
I Love You Chica. You Have Always Been there For Me. I Hope You Know If You Ever Need Anyhing You Can Always Call Me. You Have My Number. I Really MIss You...You Are Like, The Best Sister A Girl COuld Have EVer ASked For. I'm Always Gunna Be Here For You Babe!!!
<33 Sara Jane
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