the AFI (Afterlife nonFiction Institute)

being a fairly
unreligious man
i don't ponder
too long
on the existence of a god
or gods
but sometimes
i catch myself
off guard
and think that
IF, all logic and existential thoughts aside,
there is indeed a god
then he exists
for the sole purpose
of watching
poor saps
suckers
idiots
the kinds of guys
who would
bleed to death
just to
get a beautiful woman
across the road safely
hoping
sweating
anticipating
for the remote
potential possibility
of a "thank you"
or any kind of
gratefulness

i don't intend
to get philosophical
but if anything is fair
about the complexities of death
it's this:
if life is drama
when i die
and if there are even
any pearly gates
for me to worry about
getting through
after all i've given
after doing my very best
for however long
i better get
a fucking oscar.