how could one think
the stars lined up
on a dark night in a clouded sky
and gathered billions of souls
to crash a girls life.
i tell you now
i blamed the hands on the clock
twice too many;
the night you played mime
in a sweaty bed
and the morning after
where no plastic rose petal
no kiss
no pill
could take back what you had done.
i don't understand anything now.
my car is parked in a field of pines,
a Hollywood screen shines
like a curtain of moons
while country tunes play
speak and sing
words of vinyl, a banjo chorus.
the long road travelled by a poet,
a negative bearing the story of a life;
one of those alcohol movies
ditched aside for a feel good romance.
now
Lucifer still plays the organ
humming blood mary
blood mary
blood mary's got a baby in the pit
warming like an apple pie.
stop, pause
tell me about this actress
read more lines from this ashen script.
interior, daylight:
a child walks down and empty aisle
wearing mothers wedding gown
and a texan ring on her left hand,
she hears a cool laughter from the bedroom closet,
torments and beating.
he molds her like spit in his palm.
my dear, i can't
for you i can't anymore;
he whispers with an ache,
you now carry my seed like a thousand oceans would,
much too cold, tides tug and drift like mermaids,
and i'm too scared to break my mind,
too scared to lose my youth
all because of this,
for sharing a rib with this poisoned Eve.
what say now?
what do you say?
would you lick every bottle
walk down every alley leading to motel beds
draped in yellow walls scuffed in smoke,
suffocating like arabs in an american desert.
would you rot with fifty stars and thirteen stripes
in your good girl's mouth just to see that baby smile?
do you believe the father,
his words so pretty like a spanish serenade
echoing off a canyon wall.
silly girl, don't you know
echos are but temporary?
go back to the pharmacy's stall
and remove that paper slip from your legs.
please tell me you didn't see that sign,
tell me positive's but a lie.
life scares me
and now the future kills us,
we aren't grown at all dear.
don't you wish your mother still held your hand?
and where are all the tall men in uniform
to guide us across busy streets?
where are your sand castles and dolls,
you dream of an oasis;
an empty tea party garnished with dry cups,
every unicorn and puppy has vanished
because we smoke the years
as if they were burdens
and now we've seen too many souls
fly off like those days
off into the same canyons,
then rip like coyote's screech.
the only thing left to do;
let our meaty bones
dissolve with the vultures
like spanish serenades,
like father's echo.
Author notes
the most personal piece i have yet to write.
dedicated to Jinnie Jette.
You can go read her poetry on the site, username: Sugarclock.
I'm with you every step of the way dear. 
Written April 15th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 30 of 30
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really well done. you're honest and blunt and you challenge stereotypes. I'm always impressed.
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G R E A T
a very beautiful imagination but too long for me. I need minimum one day to read this, am not that long fan. But the thoughts are great. -
This is so heart-renching, grasping, poignant. You truly are one of the most incredible, talented writers of your age. I felt this piece because it deals with two of the worst circumstances thAT anyone could imagine: The loss of innocence and the consequences that entails. You manage to turn this treagedy into beauty through your poetry. This is...amazing.
Arielle Giselle -
I still am in complete disbelief that you are fourteen. Outstanding.
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You find the background meaty? I found it more....smoke in a rave. Hey, whatever floats your boat. Thankies
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Yeah...what Ruby said!
Seriously though, once again, you've made mere words into plump flesh...the imagery perfectly captured by this meaty background. And as always, you write with a skill most poets (especially on this site) will never hope to achieve...your ability to create such visceral moments unmatched by practically everyone here. And for such a sweet soul like Jinni, I think you have proven yourself as an ultimate friend...someone who not only cares, but shows they care...and for that, you are blessed and will be blessed.
Beautiful work, kiddo... -
My God, this plumbs so deep into so many universal archetypes that I feel like I'm reading the History of Woman according to Vaseline. Apples, Poisoned Eve (Lilith), Alice in Wonderland images, blood, men, urine, fecundity, my Lord, girl, this is as personal as you say and so much more.
The rhythm is militant and hypnotic and you chose the perfect background for it. It was longer than I expected it to be but the length of it bothered me not a bit.
I just love it and the fact that you wrote it with such panache. Anybody can write a sentence saying what you said, but you made the sentence an exploration, a hunger, an anger, a longing, and bloody. -
thank you very much.
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This is absolutely stunning! Every verse just keeps getting better and better. The imagery flies of the page and the emotion drips from your words. I also love the overall sturcture. It's plain to see you've got talent. Keep writing.
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strong write with good images, i enjoyed. will need to read it a few more times, just cause i like it.
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You know... I would have to agree with cvillelisa about the author note. I had my own vision in my mind and when I read the note, that vision was tainted. It was a great write, wonderful imagery, but it's the author's comment that really kinda brought it down for me. It could just be the fact I like to think for myself, but hey, it's your poem, and this is just my opinion
~Amanda -
Very well written with deep thought and such emotion. Loved the form and flow and the feelings that run right thru this one. Great job! Bunny
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"do you believe the father,
his words so pretty like a spanish serenade
echoing off a canyon wall.
silly girl, don't you know
echos are but temporary?"
this is an amazing poem. so free. so beautiful. so flowing and heartfelt and its just... it smacks you and makes you gasp for breath. i only read about one of these a month. congratulations.
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Why thank you, that means a lot coming from an english teacher
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usually i would care what the readers make of the piece...this time i dont want it to be anything than what it is, a piece to my best friend and someone i love who deserves much better.
thanks you. -
36/10
I'm crippled by shivering goosebumps!!!! This was a very good piece of poetry! I'm truely at a lost for words!!! Nicely done!
It is going into my favourites!
-Keep the ink flowing!
-Dave -
This is wonderful, and very real. We always think that things like this couldnt possibly happen to us....reality always cathes up with our hopes and dreams.
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Wow! I think I've been floored with this one! I have read some really great writes today, but I think you took the cake with this one! (and the frosting too!) Yeah, I know how that goes, getting pregnant when you're too young. You really laid it out in the most maginificent way. I love the hard and unforgiving edge of your words and your phrasing. You didn't sink down to name calling but we could still taste the bitter. A truly well done tribute to your friend. I'm sure she could not but appreciate it. Thanks for featuring this so that we all got to share this with you. You did so well.
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Too much for me to make a quick critique however since I came through the feature box, I'm leaving you a note that I did read it and feel definitely I need to read it several more times to make a honest crit. Some good stuff in here no doubt. I'd take out the Author's Note this way your readers can make up their own stories and not have the Author in the way. You obviously got something out of writing it -- now let your readers take what they want rather than imprinting on their minds something.
Some beautiful soft sneaky rhymes -- I like that. Probably could use some editing here and there.
Good stuff.
Lisa -
such emptiness such a soul touching write. brilliant
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" girls life" or "girl's life"? I liked this poem, though it is sentimental our N(narrator) allows us to see some concrete sequences...though would love to see "my dear..." type of phrases replaced....
D
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You're mighty welcome.
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heehee, thanks
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Dammit, why I can't write this well? I admit, I haven't done all that well reading some of your more recent writes, but I must say, this was a real pleasure to read; each and every word flowed off the screen effortlessly, without fail, all the while continually punching me in the face repeatedly.
You totally suck.
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stunning writing girl
personal AND powerful
elaine
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You rock Jane. You rock.
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damn right...
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walk down every alley leading to motel beds
draped in yellow walls scuffed in smoke,
suffocating like arabs in an american desert.
would you rot with fifty stars and thirteen stripes
in your good girl's mouth just to see that baby smile?
i love you Jane... thank you for this piece, i am still fucking crying and its like the 5th time i read it!!!! thank you for being there and for supporting me through this... you kno if matt decides to not be there when we finally officially find out if i am... then at least i got u and fred and everyone else... he will get his ass wooped by mike if he hurts me... yet in a sense i understand him if he leaves me... cuz this isnt something he is ready to live through... anwyas thank you for this piece... it means the world to me.. i love you and i always will... whatever may be will be... and we'll make it through i kno it... jtem!!! -
Life is a bitch all right ... passionate and poignant
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