Cool drips from above;
Rain drops down upon my face,
the serene drizzle.
Author notes
Written April 16th, 2006
A contest entry
- Rain by crivanea.
300 points, ended April 21, 2006, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Too bad your not getting any rain there. Summer is coming soon though so as you said you can go home where the summers heat is dry, the rain is nice and cool, and the girls are nice and warm. I can vouch for the last one being a girl myself.
. Lol. And yet again I remain to be a brat.
~Amanda~
Edited on Apr 17 because ''. -
All your ideas help me! Thank you very much!
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i like this poem very much short and blissful. but the twist in the last line seams like an oxymoron that doesnt fit the rest of the poem. its the words serene downpoor. i think to me at least serene implies light and soft rain as the rest of the poem sugests and the downpoor implies a torential braking of the sky. this to me is contradictory to the feel the rest of the poem has.
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Thanks for the comments, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it after some practice! Peace be with you.
~ProdigalPoet -
Nice haiku! I like the double "raindrops" dropping kind of feeling! thanks for sharing this with us! I have done only a few haikus and still haven't gotten the hang of it--I like to ramble too much!
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wow...much better!!...i love it!! the serene downpour!!! beautiful..a lovely haiku!!!!
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I fixed it a little. Thank you for your comments and tidings.
~ProdigalPoet -
The rain puts me to sleep when I can't fall asleep. We are getting hardly any over here in the midwest, so I can't wait to go home for summer where the heat is dry, the rain is cool, and the girls are warm
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~ProdigalPoet -
Beautiful poem. I love the rain and lucky for me we've been getting a lot of rain and storms here in Cali. I love it, especially when I'm sleeping. There is something just so calming about rain to me. Anyways I love this.
~Amanda~
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lovely...the rain dropping on rain is over-used...but somehow..it never lose its charm...a serene beginning..a gentle mddle..however..the last line might be a bit weak..perhaps another discribtion for storm?..just a suggestion..anyway..well done and best of luck in the contest
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