As I drifted off to sleep; my eyes shut,
A hut was there, in the deep,
porter to the forest keep.
Stars glittered, emblazoned on the dark sky,
And by my head the word "Fuh."
A dark faerie from above.
I entered the cabin no thought in mind,
In kind the door swung ought,
and fettered by black rose caught.
I fell to the ground staring up and saw,
As law, moon like a big cup,
broken dragonfly wings, 'ep.
Author notes
Doom on the rubber duckies & Mr Majeka
Option 7
NOTE: This is an Englyn Penfur, a Welsh form, with 3 lines in each stanza, and a syllabic pattern of 10-7-7. Rhymes are on the 10th syllable of the first line and the second syllable of the second line, and then also on the 8th syllable in the first line, and the last syllable on the second lines.
2nd NOTE: 'ep in the end is pronounced like up.
Written April 17th, 2006
A contest entry
- { H.o.l.d.i.n.g on for ~dear~ l i f e } (couldn't think of a name) by -foreverandever.
300 points, ended April 23, 2006, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Thank you for your applause and kind words, they are much appreciated.
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Excellent
Very creative and a wonderful use of form. It looks like you've managed to cultivate a fan club too. Not too surprising given the great quality of your words and writiing. Good luck in the contest. -
Yes they really are and I was lucky enough to grow up with Irish in my blood and a love for the celtic cultures.
~Amanda~
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wonderful
awsome piece...I loved it.
I really enjoyed reading this piece an dlook forward to reading mnore of your work! -
I'm glad it struck a celtic note of home in you
. The Irish and the Scottish are the true bards of our world. Thanks for your comments, Peace be with you.
~ProdigalPoet -
This is very good. To me it reminds me of the Irish folk songs my uncle Scott used to play for me, because of the wording that you use. I love this.
~Amanda~
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Cool
Thanks for the translation help. I like this piece it has an old world quality to it. Like Stay Thee Out Of Thine Woods, only with the ethereal imagry you use makes sense to Option # 7. What is death but sleep might as well dream of where it goes. -
Thanks to all of your comments. Poetry needs revision sometimes. It doesn't fit with the form either, so I removed it. I'm glad you liked it.
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This is really INCREDIBLE and I cannot say that enough, but I agree with DivineDrawing.
The "then I was dead" lets the whole poem down.. It just doesn't fit...
The rest of the poem is fantastic and the imagery is excellent! I see you have lived up to my option 7 challenge hehe!
Thanking yee muchly for entering, and best of luck m'dear!
Amazing write!
* ~ Lauz ~ *
xXx -
That is realy amazing but the "then i was dead" absaloutley kills it
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wow this is really good.
good job on the poem and good luck in the contest.
Kankainiku
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