She is still parts of me,
this time
like photographs and scars.
Sometimes like the sky
left sitting on beige clouds
after the sun has been dragged down
along with day
and replaced by the guarding moon
and an eldritch wall of stars.
Why would I let a
blistering bullet binge into your chest
when it is so much easier
to let it into mine?
After all,
there is a home in my heart,
I wanted you daily,
I even made a room for you,
one made of gingerbread
and lollipops.
Is that what you wish to hear?
Well I am sorry dear,
but that is not
the reason why I still miss you,
not the reason
why I bemoan the words I never told you.
These are all thoughtless emotions,
the type which leak
like puss out of a defecating wound,
on
and on
and on.
I let this happen to me,
perhaps like rape,
perhaps like obesity.
No matter how I came
to dragging myself on the ground
like roots coughing for a drink of acid rain,
the only part I still remember
is being ripped out of the soil,
covered in dirt,
covered in worms,
and now
I am back between your hooks
like the devil holds prostitutes,
plays them on the streets
and spreads their legs like plastic scissors.
No,
no you are not the devil,
yet neither are you god.
I still wonder why I miss you this much,
I suppose the answer is quite simple.
Yet I still don't know.
All I want you to know is this:
I have experienced the bleak pollution
which you speak so honestly about,
but it poured over a peek winter,
covered just enough snow for me to see
that I could not
transmit my aphrodisia into your veins.
I am a girl of a million faces,
a girl of history,
and if I had to pierce needles
through my legs just to see
how much I can hurt for you,
I think I would.
Author notes
I do miss you.
Written April 20th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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ouch
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lol, thank you very much ma'am.
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I think another comment would be useless. Wow
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me? offened? hehe, nope not at all, thank you very much for pointing these things out.
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nicely done.. "roots coughing for a drink of acid rain" is a really powerful image. A few things I'd mention.. first: Why would I let a
blistering bullet binge into your chest
when it is so much easier
to let it into mine. --do you want a ? there? and"but I suppose the answer is quite simple.
Yet I still don't know." the but followed by yet feels a bit awkward.. I don't know that the "but" is necessary, and it might be smoother without it. finally, "spreads there legs like plastic scissors." if you want possessive their, then the spelling should be corrected.. if you want to use the play on "there", then maybe a comma after "there" would make that more plain.
These are little mechanical things.. hopefully you aren't offended--I think you're really talented. Nice job. -
i guess so, but apparently talent does get you published. look at the crap out there. oprah book club? what the hell is that!
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15 is no excuse to not try and make some cash off it.
Edited on May 04, 4:04 p.m. because ''. -
Wow! When i read it, there seemed to be two sides. Like a love hate cituation, if ya know what i mean. I hope i am not way off, LOL. I liked the descriptions and images because it really described a deeper meaning to the way you felt in the poem.
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no, im 15 lol,
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thank you, i like it too
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i like the picture you used
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You continue to blow me away. How can anyone compete with your poetry? Have you thought about publishing any of this?
Edited on Apr 23, 2:34 p.m. because ''. -
its something that seems to have been made by the influence of supernatural forces.
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i liked this one, a lot....ive been waiting for you to come up with something like this for awhile now...lately your poety hasnt been wowing me as much as i remember, but this one really hit me in the middle of my chest, and i had to read it again to understand...made me really think, you know?
by the way, what is an eldritch? (or however you spell it)?
bjs
bailey -
heh! thank you, i wrote on myself and scanned my hand, glad you think it looks psychotic
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That's so awesome. I like the gingerbread/lollipop house idea. That's just.... weird. I mean, yeah there are gingebread houses and such but I thought it was weird to see it in a poem, about something so different. I dunno.. this poem is VERY good. It's one of the best that I've ever read. Maybe that doesn't mean anything, I just thought I'd tell you. That picture is scary!
... It reminds me of some psycho movie. Ugh... I love this poem.
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this is really heartfelt and painfull. It really shows how something as beautiful as love can also be ugly and disfigured.
The first and last stanza are really good and descriptive, i also like the line about the plastic scissors, really twisted stuff.
real good job with this one. -
I notice in your poems that almost each stanza stands up as a poem unto itself.You grab an emotion sock a metaphor to it and run with it for all it's worth.And then you do it all over again.It just comes in waves until you wash us up on shore( or drown us!). I liked the image of the clouds "after the sun has been dragged down along with day" .It brought back to me times I wouldn't like to live again but still weigh heavy on my heart if they are brought back to mind. Very vivdid stuff my girl!
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I also hope she knows, then again, she would have to bother reading.
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Wow. This was fantastic.You had my undivided attention the whole way through, wanting more. I just loved it!
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on
and on
and on.
I let this happen to me,
perhaps like rape,
perhaps like obesity.
Whoever this person is, whoever these divine words were fashioned for, I just hope they know how much they are loved, adored and worthy of such a phenomenal piece. I can only say that this a most rare poem indeed, and thank you for making us witnesses to your incredible soul and pen...
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I know that feeling very well too ... but I've come to the conclusion that you should never hurt yourself that much for anyone ... it only hurts what's really important in your feelings for the person ... the love and trust.
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a fine poem
powerful
and said with feeling and truth
elaine -
This tugged at my soul. Beautiful as your writes are always.
Why would I let a
blistering bullet binge into your chest
when it is so much easier
to let it into mine.
I know this feeling well.
Strong words
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