You touch me and your music fills me,
an orchestra muted in pastel shades;
the scent of you feels like suede
that caresses my nostrils.
The sound of you rings bells
and I see church windows
stained by your laughter.
I see you in the rain
where flower blossoms fall,
frangipani, jasmine and
rose scents, rising on the wind.
and sending me into raptures
of ecstasy in desire.
You smile and I taste coffee and tobacco
remembering past encounters,
and the warmth of you
draws orange and red flames
in the air around us.
I am overtaken by you
in so many ways
and softly swayed by suede.
Author notes
Written April 25th, 2006
A contest entry
- Synaesthesia by pepper this.
350 points, ended April 28, 2006, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Lovely alliteration at the end there, and I'm a sucker for poems that use the word "suede" (it's right up there with "asphalt", "languid", and "perpetua"). The nostrils line threw me off a bit, but it was redeemed by the church windows stained by laughter. Thank you for the entry!
-Pepper- -
Ms 'Kethry', you are without doubt the master (mistress) of sensation. You hold readers in a spell drawing them towards you with offers of treasured beauty beyond imagination. I'm of your spell, thank you (and please be gentle with me).
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God, that was beautiful. Clever title. Perfect imagery. I loved the twists and turns, the convolusions that my mind's eye was forced to follow, the confusion of the senses. (I must remember to compliment the contest host--what a wonderful idea!)
I only caught one thing that I might suggest changing: "draws" and "drawn," in the last stanza--it seems too repetitious.
Other than that, though, this piece is pure perfection.
Good luck in the contest! -
Oh wow, this is beautiful...it fills my senses! Love the way your words just flow and come to life! Well done and good luck with the contest.
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