tucson is where
my dad slept with that woman and I
wish I knew her name so I
could write her maybe? and ask her maybe if she ever felt bad
maybe
she’d say adultery is such a strong word
these moments where we’re all scared –
something, everything’s happening.
we channel the dystopic and we challenge the viscount.
parallel lines are a tragedy when you think about them sincerely;
they are after all of similar minds and will never meet.
and we stood, we two lazy eddies of a strongly moving current.
we were flummoxed by possibility.
no,
no, she'll say.
parallel lines are a strategy when you think clearly.
they are two grounded lives;
one sprouting from a northern seed
and the other, a hard shell bug in a Spanish desert.
yet half way across the world,
like the green Erin and Shakespeare’s tongue,
they come,
they flee side by side,
defying Arrhenius and Lavoisier
balancing proper laws.
surely, I'll say, altruism is a weak word,
now our moments are but prejudice and bleeding skins,
dark.
I still run after that woman like receding water
Author notes
was also an entry in the collab contest.
Written May 14th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
-
one sprouting from a northern seed
and the other, a hard shell bug in a Spanish desert.
yet half way across the world,
like the green Erin and Shakespeare’s tongue,
Ah...I thought I had already commented on such a worthy piece...my bad!
You know, I just don't think it's fair that this much eloquence resides in TWO separate poets...lol. But it does...and it is both vibrant, rich, and as always...brilliant. Excellent collab, the content, style and ending all appropriately stunning.
Exquisite.
-
Wuh... that's different. I like it very much so, though. Hey- that rhymed. Muwahahaha!! Anyway, I like this a lot. It's fuckin badass, man. BADASS!! A nice little collaboration you've got there, ay! I give props to babybird as well. So yes. Rock on. This one is TIGHT!!
~Micaela -
An impressive piece of poetry,admittedly some references were beyond me though the rich tapestry of the dualities within were felt and understood.
-
thankies
-
wow..impressive collaboration! I think this is a really powerful poem because it speaks to an issue that a lot of young people face, but does so in a thoroughly mature manner. I like the second to last stanza best. Very nice!
-
lol, i think you need to be a prefered member to do that.
-
I appreciate honesty.
-
i like some parts to it but i do feel that others were a bit over the top and almost not necessary. There are good thoughts floating around this peice, ive seen them , read them.
-
This is a great poem, particularly as a collaboration. If you hadn't said it, I wouldn't have thought it was written by two people. I absolutely loved the metaphor about the parallel lines - it's a great metaphor for adultery. The way you combine that with life thoughts about adultery and altruism is wonderful, and it conveys a strong message. You two seem to be great together.
-
This was a great poem. I really liked the vocabulary in it. You guys did a great job working together. It's a perfect collab. .
-
oh cool, you managed to do the thing where it says in at the top "colloboration with"...i don't know if that's a special feature or not but i wasn't able to do that.
well of course i like this poem! hehe
Adding your comment:
1 - 11 of 11
6 old applause
