Eight dark springs,
And darker winters,
Had I seen.
Lost Dad when the fourth spring came,
Lost Mom when the fourth winter came.
I was all alone then.
Cold, stinging winds no worse than
Those ugly stares people threw at me.
Hunger, nothing more than a mere reminder
that I was still alive.
My fluffy pillow, my doll house,
My garden, weren't what I missed most.
Tears I shed for not these things.
Lonely was I, nobody to love,
Nobody to hug, to kiss goodnight.
Tears I shed then, I knew, there was nobody.
A sudden warmth on my shoulder,
Lifting me up from the cold pavement,
Wrapping me up in a big woollen coat,
True warmth it was, after all those years.
A few years younger than my Dad he was,
A big house he took me into, with love,
On the couch by the fireplace, he smiled,
I knew true warmth wasn't from the fireplace.
Two more weeks flew by,
Paradise on earth it was,
After all that I remembered going through,
In the streets, I couldn't be more grateful.
Then it happened, shattering the delicate
Dreams of happiness I had built,
That night when in he bed, he touched me,
Not like a father would.....
In his eyes, I saw something,
Not the embers of a comforting warm fire,
But the flames of a raging fire,
Fuelled by the human need for pleasure.
I wanted to back off, run and hide,
He wouldn't let me.
He moved his hands under my frock,
The one he bought for his "Little Princess".
His fingers slithered all over me,
Cold and slimy like a serpent,
He undressed, I knew not why,
It was still cold outside after all.
He moved closer, holding me tight,
I knew something was wrong, his eyes...
He suddenly pushed inside me, the pain,
I wasn't feeling all right...
He kept doing it, I cried,
Couldn't raise my voice to tell him,
It hurt..
After eternity, he separated from me.
I cried, he wasn't trying to console me,
I told him it hurt, he didn't seem to care,
No... this man couldn't be...
Not my foster father anymore...
Draggin myself out of the bed,
I put my clothes on,
Sneaked out to the backdoor,
This wasn't my place anymore,
I love him... but then he dosen't care,
He hurts me, he knows....
It's been so many years now,
I'm no more a girl,
I'm no more stung by the cold winds,
I'm no more tortured by hunger,
I'm lonely no more...
But I do it now,
I learnt to love doing it,
I do it to all those who can make me happy,
Happiness, now redefined to mean earthly pleasures.
Oh I forgot to tell you,
Mom and Dad used to call me Maria,
My foster father, he called me Princess,
Now they call me... A Whore.
Author notes
The thing I despise most .... Rape. I'm sad that things like that happen to people, I'm angry that even little angels aren't spared, I hate the fact that I can't stop it from ever happening. My Sadness, My Anger, My Hate.
Written May 22nd, 2006
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It makes many of us angry! My poem A Man, A Rape and A System is about that kind of thing. My only really angry one so far... It is intense at the beginning, really rough, just a warning in case you don't want to read that, but the message is about how these people get away with this stuff.
allpoetry.com/Poem/2090575
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A really comprehensive comment.. You've said all you can about this poem! Thanks for the comment! Glad you loved it... And Kimberly.. I haven't told you before.. I jus simply despise rape.. It hasn't happened to anybody close to me.. but still something about it makes me really mad.. I get really angry when I see those news items on TV abt lil kids being raped by relatives, friends and sometimes by their own fathers.. It's sick... really..
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Oh... my... gosh... this is such an awesome poem! Seriously, I don't know how you did this, totally from a different perspective, captured it so well... I felt so much when reading this, and I felt anticipation, knowing what was going to be happening, drawn into the poem, as sad as it is. And, what an incredible ending, showing the history of someone that society shuns.
Awesome job, my friend!!!!
Kimberly G. -
faeorie! Thanks a lottt for the comment! So sorry about your friend.. If only her boyfriend was supportive maybe things would have been easier for her? And yeah..Rape is uncool... Sex isn't! You got it right!
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very powerful write! This meant a lot to me, because a friend of mine was raped at a party, and it ruined her life. Her boyfriend didn't believe her, even though shes the type of person who comes clean about it. He was the love of her life, and he dumped her because she was raped. It's almost been a year since that happened, and she's still so torn up about it. Rape is not cool. Sex is great, but only if the people involved are consenting.
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Moonlightangel....Hope you get through your depression as soon as possible.. Every moment of life is precious.. don't waste it... And thanks again for the comment.. It is really encouraging to know that my poem could almost move you to tears...thanks again..
Edited on May 27, 11:06 because 'spelling'. -
well I still congradulate you on writing such a moving piece. Depressed still... possibly a little, but I shall get through it.
Seriously, well done you really did have me speechless when I read this, so close to bursting out in tears too. -
Moonlightangel.. Thanks for the comment!
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Moonlightangel...Well I owe it to you...Your contest inspired me to write his piece..And hey.. You still feelin depressed?
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painstricken! Hey thanks for your comment! Really encouraging.. thanks again! So whats happenin in Ohio?
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This is a very well written poem. I can really feel all the emotion you have put into it. Speechless. Wow. I agree with you that rape is such an aweful thing, and you have captured the dirtiness, the horror of it here in this piece.
good luck.
moonlight -
This just really made me med! I want to go hurt every single person that has ever hurt another like that! The way you worded it really made me feel like I was in the girl's place. I feel sick and dirty. That's how a reader is suppose to feel. They are suppose to be the character and I believe you did an fantastic job of doing that.
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Di! thanks for the comment.. Nobody's ever dwelt so deeply on my poem until now... thanks again.. by the way do you know that Master Blaster is the nickname of a very popular and talented sports person here in India?
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Hi, after reading this I thought of something I thought I never would, the right to hate, it's a sentiment I don't think I've ever felt even against those who hurt me almost beyond belief, you have the right to feel it, it is a good write, it holds no punches, reading many poems aday on the site I realise how many of us that write have been badly hurtin life,our writing brings us together, take care, hugs Di
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love-music-darkness....thanks a ton for the appreciative comment! Loved it.. and yes..we all wish rape would be no more.. but sadly and to be honest.. I don't think thats possible.. It's been around for centuries.. And it hasn't changed a bit ..I plainly see no reason why it'll stop in the future.. And that is the saddest thing about Rape....
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great writing
this is one of the most depressing poems i've ever read, but its amazing.. such pain comes through in your words. rape is truly a horrid thing, may we live to see the day when it is no more. such a sad ending.. very good flow to this, i especially like the description of time at the beginning and of course the twist at the end. great work on this.. 
best wishes
~love-music-darkness -
whoa... this has got to be the saddest poem i've read, the description in the beggining is amzing... the pain later on is deep... hunger remindin' her that she is alive... the time lapse through seasons... wonderfully written...! as usual i loved every line...!
sad twist at the end but yes this is what i hate the most too so i know where this poem is comin' from...
good job with this...
best of luck!
Sis!
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Martin Clark! Most comprehensive comment... Awesome! Thanks a lott!
Edited on May 22, 11:05 because 'spelling'. -
Chilling! Also a significant and important social commentary.
The poem itself, expertly crafted. Well done.
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blondone! thanks a ton for the comment!
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awe well you have done a great job on this write great entry for the contest so full of emotions it takes lots of talent to write with such expression....
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