I awoke last night to realize
I had to face the judge
I had to answer charges
that I knew I was guilty of
walking in the courtroom
I trembled in such fear
knowing I was guilty
knowing what was ahead
as I stood before the Judge
I noticed how small I seemed
my sins were as filthy rags
compared to His robe, so pure and clean
and He said:
well I've searched through this book of life, child
and I can't seem to find your name
so you've given me no choice
I've got to put you down, it seems
you know, if you had only listened
to what I had to say
I would have set you free
but I'm sorry, this isn't the case
for you did not believe!
so He cast me out of the courtroom and threw me in the pit
no longer would I see the light, only darkness, pain and fear
I witnessed teeth knashing, fire and moaning
like human eyes have never seen
I even saw loved ones that I knew
and tears that never ceased
and then I knew my fate was sealed
oh, I couldn't turn back now
and all because I refused to believe
But I awoke again to realize
It all was just bad, bad dream
He allowed me one more chance
for now, I DO BELIEVE!!
Author notes
Option#4...This is the worst fear a person can have...waking up in Hell! (in my opinion)
Written May 28th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Scare Me!!!! by near1202apocalypse.
1750 points, ended November 4, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me The Meaning of True Fear by ShadowHex777.
391 points, ended December 31, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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THIS IS EXCELLENT
THIS IS THE BEST I HAVE BEEN THERE BEFORE -
so-so
I am not a christian however but we all wake up to some kind of hell every day.good luck ionmy contest. -
Different, chillingly written. I do like how you have ended it. Best of luck to you in the contest
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hmmm... not really scary, but gripping and a very good story!
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thank you! kewl contest. good luck with it and have fun with all the entries
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I love this poem because I wrote something like this too (trilogy) and I love all the details you put in this.It was simply awesome,how everything was just so perfect.
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I love how you began this poem making it appear as a judge's courtroom and comparing your clothes to his, I think that was wonderful use of poetic devices. Great write, inspiring to a certain point.
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Thank you so much! I'm happy it touched you like that.
GBY
Silver
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Very interesting. Not sure that it could be described as dark so much as enlightening. I did find the way you spelt threw and through annoying though. ("thru")
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I see your point! Yes I did misspell those words. I'm so happy you caught them!!!! Thank you, my fellow poet!!!!
GBY
Silver
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Wonderfully expressed and written
I loved the concept of this write its powerful and a bit dark. But (I) see it like you wrote it for I think we are all going to be judged when we leave this earth. For we all have sinned in one way or an other. Just some more than others. I enjoyed your write thank you for entering and good luck (Lisa)
"I witnessed teeth knashing, fire and moaning
like human eyes have never seen
I even saw loved ones that I knew
and tears that never ceased
and then I knew my fate was sealed
oh, I couldn't turn back now
and all because I refused to believe
But I awoke again to realize
It all was just bad, bad dream
He allowed me one more chance
for now, I DO BELIEVE"
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Well thank you very much. I truly do appreciate you reading it! And much luck with your contest too!!! GBY
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WOW
Awesome write...I really love how the truth is so easy to write about...I was really drawn into your write.I could see these lines you have written:
the teeth knashing, fire and moaning
like human eyes have never seen
I even saw loved ones that I knew
and tears that never ceased
enough to send chills all over ya and turn you into a believer....Loved the write...God Bless..
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a real nightmare !!!!!
i can see how this would scare the socks off of you.even though i dont belive in a hellfire i do belive we will be judged.God is a friend to all.very well done
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thanks sweetie! yes we will be judged by God someday and the way we live determines our fate. God is a loving God but he didn't make us robots. He gave us a will to live like He said or choose our own way in life and suffer the consequences. thanks so much for your kind support!! GBY
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Very Good
A beautifully crafted revelation of spiritual truth. Sooner or later we will be given our last chance for redemption, yet none of us can know when that final rejection of the urgings of the Holy Spirit will cause God will turn us over to a debased mind. Tis better to take advantage of the opportunity when it is given to us. Never mind the scoffers; they will never understand. Remain firm in your convictions.
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Thank you for the great comment! Yes I believe there will come a day that people will be given over to a reprobate mind. GBY
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Thought Provoking
I once hear a Deacon of the Church say "Better to be scared through the gates of Heaven, than walk blithely through the Gates of Hell." Or...something like that. This is what your dream seems to be about, better safe that sorry
Good imagery and best wishes in the competition.
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Excellent
God is a loving God and he so longs for our love, Like a father or a mother he wants us to succeed. You will never find yourself in hell, Unless because of your big heart he sends you there to help others.
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Oh that was such a nice comment! No, I've made my plans NOT go, lol. This was a dream I had once and when I woke up, I was afraid to go back to sleep!! GBY
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Thanks so much my friend! and for the applause also. you are so encouraging!!GBY
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good
Scary! But "some more convenient day" (to believe) may never come. Good poem. -
My friend you are so thoughtful to give such kind comments on my work. I thank you again! GBY
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Its real beautiful this poem tells what its like to confront god and realize what all the sins we have made in our life. Judge and excutinner we will all face the face the day when we will pay for all past sins.. Will we go to heaven or hell who could ever tell. Excellant poem my favorite
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Thanks alot for the kind comment. I think most of us have wandered about this a time or two. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to read it . GBY!
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This sort of fear would have me in some in depth prayer! Very interesting piece. Unique and well expressed! Thanks so much for entering!
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thanks again i appreciate that alot. GBY!
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Aah... Judgement day! To dream of such things is enough to bring many to fear and many to beilive. Great poem! God Bless. -(Dark Raven, the bard)
Edited on Jul 25, 11:32 p.m. because ''. -
Oh no problem! I took your comment as constructive advice. I really appreciate your insight on this poem. Thank you for being so sweet!!! GBY!
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Thank you so much. I think we all need to be reminded about God's love and the Final Judgement Day also. GBY!
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I realy liked this. I believe that we all be sitting in judgement someday,
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You are very right about all you said. And I do! But this is only a poem...not my perception of God and hid love... only a fear I had once. thanks for the wonderful comment you gave. It is kind of you. GBY!
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You are probably right about that. But I wrote it as it came to me one night and that's all I came up with lol! GBY!
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Very good. I truly understand your fears. It is quite scary to think that Hell might await you. But fear should not be your only motivation to believe. You should believe because you know He loves you more than you could ever love Him. You should believe because you know that His word is right and true. You should believe because you feel a neverending joy just at the thought of His presence. Sorry to sound critical. It was a very good poem. You are an artist. Good luck in the contest.
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I really liked this, however I think that if you really wanted to portray your fear of hell you should have described the how awful it is even more.
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I'm very happy to hear that! GBY!
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I also believe!
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Thanks so much for the comment. To be honest I have no idea of a scientific name for.. the fear of waking up in hell,lol!! If you have any idea please send it my way. Good luck with your contest. It's a great one to be involved in.GBY!
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MAGNIFICENT! Very good interpretation, good detial, and good idea! Nice job and another poem that will make judging difficult!I would had prefured you to put the scientific name of the phobia, if it is one, in your comment box, but dont sweat it, its not that big of a deal! thank you for entering and good luck!
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Thank you for your constructive comment. And yes I do use "I' quite a bit in this piece. But this is for a reason. It was about "me". I am the one in the dream. And the idea is directly from the "Bible"(but in my own words).Read it , then you will understand where I am coming from. But I do appreciate your thoughtful comment!And thank you for taking the time to read it. GBY!
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In this piece, I see a massive overuse of the word 'I' -
There are so many ways to refer to yourself, and I think... that here, you've really... captured a closeminded perception of this situation. You speak of nothing other than yourself: when there is a world here to be described,
you speak of filth, and no cause: only filth.
you speak of guilt, and no crime: nothing: other than "It is" - why? I don't know. To take it as it is, I am given ~ a... window of a view into... a guilty person being brought before God, and then being forgiven, and then deciding to believe - without telling WHY - WHY - at all, nothing:
It is. Here it is. I've read it, and it is what it is, nothing more. It's a collection of words, and a seemingly positive opinion of God.
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