I am in conflict, engaging in inner wars.
Despair, solitude, taboo;
Facing fears, dreams and hopes.
Hoping more than pulling away,
Then pulling away in search of denial.
How can I rip this from my heart?
Don't let me fall prey again, no more.
Confusion is too much;
Stumbling, getting hurt, picking at scabs.
Does the heart ever truly heal?
I know what I desire, what I need:
But I can never know if you want the same.
Will the scars inflict pain on future things?
Falls can easily happen again.
Yet beliefs hold on so easily; the frames,
Still, frozen, for new pictures await.
Fear of my own will, of my own heart;
Is this love again tearing me apart?
All I can do is wish and wait;
All I can manage, smiles so grim;
And I will struggle (the wait and see!);
All I ask is to be someone's dream;
All I pray for is for someone to live with;
All I'd ask you, simply, would be to love me.
Author notes
This was written when I was in conflict over the feelings I had for a friend. I guess the conflict is no more... he turned out to like someone else so I guess the other signals didn't matter. Feel free to give me comments, for I hadn't written in a while. I am afraid I have lost my touch.
Written May 29th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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I'm not sure the heart ever heals, but maybe it's how we take care of the scars is what's important...
Isn't it funny how we're both in such different places now, especially with guys, hehe. I love you! I'm so glad we met here. xoxo
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Sweet
All I can do is wish and wait;
A Pure love Thought. The poem flows like wine...sweet full of intoxicated imagery. a beautiful melody and a wonderful bundles of wishes. so I am left with no choice but to add you to my favorites….
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You have definately not lost your touch, this is a beautiful piece of poetry full of feeling and sadness.The only thing I would change, and it's neither here nor there, is the word "off"on the last line 1st stanza so that it reads- How can I rip this from my heart. Well done.
Val
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No, you do have a touch. There are many here who would applaud this if they took the time for it. Though I prefer the less is more thing. Abstract designs and slightly different formats. I did enjoy the read. It brings up several points common to many of us.As we all know it is never a simple thing to ask someone to love us, even our work in here. Good luck.
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