There once was a baby girl, who was sweet, caring, and kind.
Her father left her in death. It may be he loved her...
Or maybe she should have taken it as a sign.
There once was a little girl, who was shy, afraid, and unsure.
Her friends left her by choice. They poked fun...
And said that, for what she had, there was no cure.
There once was a pretty girl, who thought she was a monster.
but her monster turned out to be a man...
who stole what he wanted, and left a child inside her.
There once was a young woman, who was frightened and confused.
Her love she found, but turned to fear...
When he slept around, then left her broken and bruised.
There once was a woman, who was frail but pretended to be strong.
Her husband took away his touch....
He had told her she was beautiful, but turned out, he was wrong.
There once was lonely woman, who only wanted affection back.
she was tired of people leaving...
and died of love, or should I say - of the lack.
Author notes
Written June 5th, 2006
This is not very good... it was pretty much just exercise for my mind, since I had not written anything in a while... as you can see the result was quite rusty.
What did you think
Comments
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Thank you for your applause and comments!! Yeah, this one is definitely low on imagery... I will probably totally redo it... one of these days. I am not feeling too creative right now, and have quite a few pieces that need a lot of work.
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oops
sent it so fast i didnt applaud!
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rusty you say?
this was very good! i was so amazed that you thought it wasnt good i sent this comment empty and now have to edit it to write this. lol. the flow was nice, and though the story was a bit hard to grasp, i think it was mostly because the imagery was so open to interpretation. you write beautifully, keep at it. -
I actually kind of like this. I applaud you that you are able to put stuff you don't really like on the site. I have to have completed each poem; and have at least a little fondness for it before I'm willing to post it. Bravo.
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thank you for sharing this rather sad little write wth us,
first let me tell you off! never never let me see you putting your work down! write away but let the readers decide if they like it or not..you have no need to say your work is not good,for we all learn and improve by practice and even each reader will see your work through diferent eyes..keep up the good work and be proud of what you write
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