Sitting alone, today, in my balcony
I closed my eyes, searching for you.
I saw you smile and giggle so sweet
And running wildly beneath the blue.
Craving over sentiments, I stayed bold
as I blindly sense the glitters in your eyes.
I hear your voices, resonating around me.
I yearn for your touch…and my strength dies.
Opening my eyes, I stare into the sky.
Let bird’s song be your voice
and the stars, the sparkles I sensed.
I wonder no more for my harsh rejoice.
As the wind touched me, I thought it was you,
and an ache occurred in my heart
Influenced by sadness, sorrow and grief
I shivered too weakly feeling you apart.
Looking through the prism of memoirs
I see the random images of past go by.
With a smile on my face, numb I stay.
Peeling my emotions, slowly, I Cry
- Vichitra Joshi (J.Vic)
Author notes
Death...is a truth that we all are going to see, feel and someday face.
This poem is written from the point of view of Neri(my friend and the contest holder), who lost her two close relative.
I think i have been not too metaphorically complicated in this poem. In case you dont understand, kick me !
Title :- A blind person can feel more deeply than normal human. Neri has not met( or SEEN ) her relative since long 'cause she moved to another country. But she is still deeply moved 'cause of the sad news. A BLIND GLANCE is a glimpse full of feelings even though we cannot see from naked eyes, its what your heart makes you see.
Thanks for reading
take cares
MISS ME
- Vic
Written June 7th, 2006
A contest entry
- make me feel better [contest] by u took my user name.
550 points, ended June 11, 2006, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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so much feelings captured into this poem
I've read this over twice....to be able to fully capture the emotions passed on in each and every line of this heartfelt poem...Sometimes just a scent...the feel of something....can take us back to memorylane...and feel as if the lost loved on is still there..and sometimes it 'll make you cry...sometimes a memory will bring a smile onto your face and warm your heart feeling their presence there..and sometimes it'll do both...You are so talented Vic....and it's a bless you have this talent...cos sometimes when we can't "speak"....we can say it in written words....
ve

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beautiful
lovely yaar...its a very touchin piece...aaj se tera fan nahin ac ban gaya re...
tc and keep it up..

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i like this one too.. its really really good.. i can relate.. faaceing death is hard and well.. nvm
ure a great writer.. keep writing -
Your style is just amazing. Its very deep. Good job on your writing keep it up!
Peace n' Luv
-
vic
that was a good poem

Ray

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Vic,
Did I just say that your other poem was beautiful?? Then this one's beyond beautiful. I love the way you mould your words, almost lilting them, holding on to them on your tongue. You have this awesome quality of making your poetry tender, almost brittle (in a good way).
Very nice write. Do keep up the brilliant work!
Love love love love love
Ankita
And you deserve a teddy hug! -
whoa.....this is beautiful vic vic!! i love reading your poems!!! it makes me happy....beucase you are sooo talented, and it inspires me. you have such a wide use of vocabulary and you are sooo smart, i can tell through your work.....your awesome vic vic!!! i'll talk to you soon!! much love
~ANNE -
You are so talented, and compassionate !
It makes me sad, that I had forgotten your beautiful poetry for as long as I have. And I hope you'll forgive me for doing so... ö
Please keep writing, sych talent as yours shouldn't be wasted.
Take care.
-M -
very nice
I like it. Very nice. -
WoW this is absolutely wonderful. I love it. This is awesome. You did a great job on this.
<3 Catherine -
Beautifully written, words wrapped in heart felt sighes. So sweet, so unvoiced sadness it is. Great job m'dear. I haven't read such a beautiful poem in so long. Now I am reminded on why I put you in my favorites, for the beauty that has spawned form your silken quill. Keep on penning.
~Anika, GBR -
Deep!!
WOWWWWWWWWWW this was incredible deep and sincere I loved it thanks so much wow....pass the tissues please!!!
Kari -
awwwww
this poem makes me wanna cry ... tears up as i write . i know how it is .. i feel blindly as well but i see and but i dont i look deeper with in a person for who they are not what they are .. cries -
I love this poem i plan to read more =)
xoxo your friend,
Shiloah -
excellent
a amazingly written piece!!!!
great job i loved the topic how it flowed and just overall a great poem
i hope to read more! because i see this was submitted in june
Cherie
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Hello my friend !!!! It`s so much time didn`t visit u ....
As i read it - i thought i feel this pain....great poem - as always ;} -
good
I like the line "peeling my emotions.....", nice stuff this is. Kalidasa put in a more generalised fashion
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oh my god vic, its absolutly beautiful.
its shows how deep it is to miss someone,
and its hard writing that.
Im so glad youre back
- astrid
Edited on Aug 04, 9:29 because ''. -
I had to read this again. It truely is beautiful(despite the story behind it) It really does do a lot to your emotions when you lose someone close to you. You never know what you had until it was gone. They say you can say your goodbyes and get closure whenever you want to but sometimes you just dont want to let go. thanks for sharing this poem.
Mel -
Excellent!
oh sweety this piece is very deep. You write with such intense feelings and you are truly romantic
I enjoyed this very much, thank you for sharing.
-
5 stars
woot you are amazing, i forgot how good you were probably because i havent read anythin by you in so long, i must catch up, go you this is amazing and very heartfelt great write
laura -
thats really good i like it. thanx 4 commenting me. ur really a good poet and a person. guys (sum) bother me and the poems have stories behind them just hard well talk care hun lots of love mber or icry2sleep
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hiiiiiiiiiiii you! well im back 2
i mised u!! thanx for all ur comms
i rle like them
ive got msn hun, its soly98@hotmail.com
i dont have u mate!
i miss u, long time since i last chat with u hu?
well hun, i hope we get in touch
gr8 write, keep it up!!
sol! -
The vibrating effect of your new comment, through air, made me over thrilled again.. and now i face the complications of being in COMA
you added me to your favs..
*DIES*
~~~--- Some people just know how to get rid of others in the sweetest manner ---~~~
thanks again lady o lady from the morning world
- Vic to Galfalfa
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LOL..dont look now but i even added you to my favourites
I dont do that for just anyone
Have a great day!
gal -
You read my poem
.. and you even commented
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW
*faints of over excitement* The Galfalfa HERSELF commented my poem...
- Vic to Galfalfa.
P.S : - I will thank you when i come back to my conscious state.
-
Yes, they say when one is blind it heightens your other senses...i have lost close family members too and the pain is sometimes unbearable - I try to keep in mind how very fortunate i was to have them in my life in the first place.
This was perfectly penned to my eyes Vic - you've much talent..it's obvious
gal
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love is not lost for we always find away back
hey baby..i read it and it is wonderful...cries tears of happieness it was beautiful..i really liked it..yours are sort of happy while mine r filled w/ sorrow chek mine out m-tay????
love oyu vewy much,
your ap lova, caitln -
Darn Vic!!! We had such a great relationship... you wouldnt read my work... i didnt had to glance over your boring writtings...
now that you did... i had to loose the love of some minutes of my life to read yours... such a waste i tell you... such a waste... ok... now its the part where i say... WOW!!! Amazing!!! Really good!!! Excellent!!! Just.. just.. Magnificiant!!!!
i know it sounds a little sarcastic... but... its not my fault that it really is that good.... as usual if i might say so... wait... i might say so... its my comment.. so... ill say so... AS USUAL!!!
anyway...
Buddy!!! Keep it up!!! you have all my respect...
From someone that was called someday as the GOD AMONG INSECTS!!!
~Spiff~
Edited on Jul 17, 6:04 because ''. -
Looking through the prism of memoirs
I see the random images of past go by.
With a smile on my face, numb I stay.
Peeling my emotions, slowly, I Cry
amazing write,beautifull flow and truely breathetaking
great work as usual vic
need i say more
this one's my fav
-ship -
That is beautiful ... count the tears down my cheeks.
-Aalta -
omg! i loved this...its full of feeling..as i was reading it a tear rolled slowly down my cheek. and i silently thanked you for writing something so sweet...your a great writer..and this piece truly touched me..
keep it up
~sarah~ -
Wow!! Deeply beautiful!! I love your wording!! I am so envious..lol. I love the rthyme and the story you tell.
Sorry I have been gone so long, see the great stuff I have missed reading!
TD
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vry kool Vic, yur poem is gr8 I luv ta read it, evn wen u say on ya Author page "Dun read em" but I will read em ifn its ok with u.
Joanna -
uhmm... I think you were quite simple with this one... but it was great... Yeah, I kind of felt like this too just last summer ... It reminds me of 'Carpe Diem' - no one ever knows.
Great vic. I'm glad that you're back...with this simply amazing poem as well...
miss yah!
-
Well sweetheart....... i give this poem three thumbs up and 10 stars. This was a very good way to put such a sentimental feeling into a new perspective for others. And i agree with SeLfDeStRuCtIoN on the fact that you do have way more talent then you like to own up too. But considering some people I know that is a good thing not to have such a big head about yourself. It is a talent to write about death in such a beautiful fashion......... Tell Neri that i'm sorry for her lost and that i send a hug of comfort. She'll need it.
-
yes, yes, yeas
very cool EP, very freaking cool...so much emotion..You've so much more talent than you give yourself credit for, I cant wait to see more, in fact i think i'll explore right now. -
Hey Vic,
When I read it I thought of it as being romantic. I figured that you had fallen in love with someone and she had left you or something to that extent. When I read your note I figured out what the poem really was about. It is well written but I guess it depends how the reader takes it. Yeah sadly life is a cycle. Someone is born and someone dies and the cycle of life continues. Some must die to make room for the new. It is so sad to lose someone very close to you. I find that it takes unreal strength to rise up and stand again after a death of a very close person. -
Oh my god, vic.. I think this is one of your best poems (of thoose ive read of course) I think you really got into how it feels to lose someone, cause i know how it feels. You really show, how much about death that we dont understand, like.. why they arent here with us, or why we cant be with them.. I really, Really like this poem.. Its sorta different of the others youve done, cause this shows the sorrow and grief, about loosing someone you love.
Keep up the work,
*Hugs And Kisses*
- Your Astrid ( L ) -
beautifully perfect
I have to say this is one of the most emotional and heartfelt poems I have read. That may not be the right word to describe it but I felt this poem. WHen I read it, I was able to feel what someone may feel. My heart actually ached. Such great imagery. I could see myself standing there and I could hear a beautiful song from a bird. I can see that prism. Its kind of funny how one thing can make you feel so many emotions. Thanks for sharing this. I loved it! -
Sadly death is a fact of life - depresses the heck outta me..I've lost a few in my family and i will eventually lose more or even die myself - we know not when but it will come to pass. So the best we can do is live for the moment..that's really all anyone is guaranteed..the moment you are in - laugh and love those around you
Perfectly penned! Bravo! -
beautiful
*sigh* You don't know how truly and very much I miss you sweetie
this poem reminds me of every time I have an off-day and I can't see Jacob, or I just miss him too much, this ache in you becomes so strong illusions create themselves, you explained this wonderfully, brief yet with so much angst, I enjoyed your composition, the metaphors were so original, keep writing and posting I Love to read your work, I miss you and hope we can chat soon,
Ruth
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Bravo!!! Bravo!!! Bravo!!!
Vic, My dear sweet vicilicous friend.
I am sorry I haven't stopped by for a while. I am very happy I got to experience this. Looking through the eyes of someone blind you get so many feelings. Yes, they do see more than we can imagine as all their other senses become heightened. You did a wonderful job with this, it's so powerful and filled with you. I will be stopping in more and I hope to see fresh writes when I do. I miss you!!!!!
Hope to chat soon. Lady Joyce leaves with a standing ovation to go along with the applause and designer chocos that she knows you enjoy so much.
Love you always my friend, Your Lady Joyce
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a alsome poem i loved it
i though it waz a good poem and i loved how u used usedthat go togather i hope ur others r just as good if not better -
awe vic it is so sad that u fel thatway my friends pain hurts me * cries * no one should feel this way and something inside me makes me feel this way in a sense great write ~cassi
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This poem is so amazing! So much meaning and emotion went into every line.
Great write Vic! Keep it up!
Love Cat xxxx -
Great, as usual :)
I very much like this poem! taps right into the senses and spirit. Great write good buddy
s and
es
-Tiger -
=D>=D>=D>=D>=D>=D>
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funny....when i read it i did not feel of death...i saw it more romenticaly, but i could not express how deeply it touched me..so deeply that one cannot express in words, such as true feeling. last night i felt something that made me feel the same way as your poem...curious, isn't it?
Love
Michelle -
Brilliant
very lovely vic, amazingly exicuted!
i hope that everyone understands the meaning of this and can share and love as much as you.
Buh bye viccy
~Stefani~ -
I am so sorry, I had read this already, and now I have read it twice, and enjoyed it again
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this is excellent, so moving. Beautifully written i couldn't suggest anything to improve it
. beautifully flowing so full of imagery. ow i'm back
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Very nice angstful work!
-
This is a wonderful poem. So much emotion. I liked it. Good luck in the contest. ttyl Tali
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all i can say is thank you, and glad that you are back
thank you .... a lot -
Oh wow. Vic this is amazing. The emotions are displayed here so well, it truly touches the readers heart. The imagry is great and the poem itself flowed beautifully.
Well done Vic. Its nice to see a new write from you. Its been so long
Nikki
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This is, by far, one of the most raw, deep and genuine display of emotions I've seen in a write for a very longtime...every line was so heart-felt...every word of yours...so meaningful...I also loved the imagery you used which really helped the wonderful flow to this magnificent piece...great job, Vic...fantastic!
I loved the last stanza the most, the way it ended was extremely vivid! Thanx for sharing!
Edited on Jun 10, 6:49 p.m. because ''. -
Emotion that touches the soul and heart and I enjoyed this emensely thanks
-
A truly beautiful and heartfelt write.
Best of luck to you in the contest!
Thanks for sharing this.
Allen0826 -
Aww beautifully written, very sad but touching. Full of emotion!
I loved this stanza -
As the wind touched me, I thought it was you,
and an ache occurred in my heart
Influenced by sadness, sorrow and grief
I shivered too weakly feeling you apart.
So sweet and tearful. Keep up the good poetry! -
perfect
Welcome back Vic!...sorry for the late comment....
Its a very heartfelt write.Expressed with sadness from other persons view point,True a blind person cannot see but they can sense more.Beautifully woven words and its flawless
hope to read more of your poems,keep it up
May you be BLESSED
-love u VIC
-
Edited on Jun 10, 10:35 because ''. -
A beautiful write from a beautiful person! You are truely beautiful inside and out luvluv!
mwah
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This is very well written. It is beautiful and rich in emotion.
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Awsome
Its beautifully written, I havn't read this much good stuff from some time now.It brings tears in eyes and I can really feel the pain and sadness in each word of yours.
You've portrayed it very nicely -
Beautiful
that was amazing. so much emotion and wonderfully written.
i like that you write such a long comment in your author's notes so that people understand what you were trying to say.
i don't think you needed to spell this out - it was there, staring us in the face from the very beginning.
I hope Neri is feeling much better after reading this poem.
Lillybet
PS. we all face death at some point, it is how we react that shows our true character -
moving
surely you jest-this is wonderful -
grrrrrrrrrrrreat
Aao G Aao G..........
Welcome back sweetheart......hmmmmmmmmm..........do i need to tell you again that this work is awesome just like others
seriously Vic.....its damn heart touching and i acknowledge that you have written seomthing realising and experiencing some one else's emotions......Hats off to you my humble little friend
i am overwhelmed by the fact that how beautifully you have expressed some one else's emotions into words though its the tougest part.....i am thinking of a day when i coul\d write half as goooooooood as you
anyhow......missing you nowadays and i hope to hear from your side by earliest......though my mere applause is nothing in front of all the applauses that people hve made here but yet as my heart is telling me to do so i am doing it
hope to c you veryy soooooooooooooon dear
take care
tiu tiu
love
Your Humbler......sweeter.......friend
Anshu -
This is realy a beautifull piece and very touching. Good luck
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Hello my little chickadee,
good to see you post a poem and it's very beautiful.
Your pluff pluff spongy doll. -
very pretty and moved me to tears, the part of ones soul is gone, when someone passes from this earthm totally understand, thank you for sharing and good luck..Linda
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Very sad but a beautiful write Vic. Death is sad for those who are left behind, but then that is why we all hold some belief, to ease the sadness and hurt of "passing" whether it is leaving someone behind or being left behind.
Death is a part of Life, and so in it there is beauty as well.
Very good poem Vic.
s and best wishes always...
~Didi Genie~ -
VERY BEAUTIFUL
Sincerely beautiful!
-
wow...this is a wonderful piece my dear brother. Welcome back my dear.
Wish you the best luck in the contest.
Looking forward to reading more.
Love you my lil brother,
Shahrzad
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Wow,This is so very beautiful and so emotional.
This was an amazing piece and flow well. This poem is incredibly written with wonderful imagery.
This had an awesome feel to it
Craving over sentiments, I stayed bold
as I blindly sense the glitters in your eyes.
I hear your voices, resonating around me.
I yearn for your touch…and my strength dies
keep up the good work -
this was beautiful of you both Neri and muh Viccy
I think the most of everything is it will come one day . We can only behold the fresh light that filters us in, and smell of the everlasting flavors that surround us here in present
Love You!!Viccy!!PJ's
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This is so very beautiful. You must be a wonderful friend. I love this, it's so emotional. My favourite line was 'Let bird's song be your voice.' For some reason that line really jumped out at me.
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that was so touching. Yes like you said it is always hard to lose someone no matter if you can see them or not you still love them and that is the part that hurts the most. I Love the metaphor you use. The closed eyes and elements of nature were a great memorial to those gone. god bless you and yours
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what a wonderful write to your friend ,this is a lovely piece of work written with much emotion ,sorry toy hear about your friends family death is not an easy thing to deal with any way,keep up the wonderful writing
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This was simply beautiful lil Vic Vic. This got to be one of your best poems yet. It was so TLC moment. I'm going to bookmark this.
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Awesome
This is an incredible piece Vic
I too havent seen anything "new" from you for a while
but this just goes to show
all things good comes to those who await
I loved this piece
Awesome Job
Love Your Friend
Melisa -
this piece is tender, touching, and the imagery is just amazing!!!!!!!!!
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Nice work
Wow,
This was an amazing piece
incredibly written
This had an awesome feel to it
I loved it ever so much
I wish you the best of luck
Love Ember
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VIC!!! I'm so happy to see you writing!!!! I haven't seen anything 'new' from you in a while...
THIS IS AWESOME!!!! OH goodness Vic... your writing has improved drastically... this is absolutely outstanding oh dear son of mine!!! I am so impressed with this!
"As the wind touched me, I thought it was you," that is so very beautiful... such a LOVELY thought... the entire poem is just filled with wonderful imagery and thoughts Vic!! WOW!!! awesome sweetie!!!
~Melissa


























































