The cold ground on my bare feet,
I didn't know it'd be like this.
Cobwebs and darkness all around,
but the sun I would not miss.
Tombstones lay bare with names,
one stood all alone.
Once I looked at the poor girl's grave,
my body shook to the bone.
Twas my name on that stone,
wet tears that meant nothing came,
I cried out loud, no one around,
remembering that it no longer was a game.
All I can remember is falling,
darkness caressing over my skin,
for you see, it all is but a nightmare,
and it's only just to begin.
Author notes
After playing an RP game, since I died in it, I thought I would write a poem about the Underworld. You should check the game out at www.rpdragon.com! It's awesome!
Written June 16th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
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Hey ,its me your AP cousin. I have had roblems logging on, so I felt the need to read some of your work. I rather like this, the dark feel is accented by the realism. It feels less physical than alot of dark poems, but this adds to the feel.
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Thanks a lot! I thought that the girl was doing just as you said. Thanks so much for the comment!
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a very haunting poem (ok, sorry, that was a bad pun). But seriously, I really liked the mood it creates. A feeling of being suddenly alone in the darkness with nothing but time to reflect on how things went wrong. Thanks for sharing it with us and keep writing.
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Thanks! I'll see if I could make the last lines more smooth. I really appreciate your comments so I can fix my poems, so thanks!
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Deep Write
Beautifully dark, I love the line "...wet tears that meant nothing came,". I think the rhyme in the last stanza is a bit forced
, but the rest is very smooth and full of imagery. I find it interesting that this profound poem came out of a game
Never know where you'll find your inspiration! Thank you for sharing, a good read.
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