Tracing waxed crayons
across raging waves;
a daughter, doodling yellow flowers
and blue horses upon napkins
in restaurants. Fairy wings
stuttering in silent concentration.
I wanted to draw you fields;
fields of red red roses;
to finger paint the orange sun
upon sugar cane paper.
My blonde hair parted itself
in messy plaits, tiny pink lips
humming in nursery rhymes;
perfection in blue-eyed scribbles
I wanted to fold tiny paper snowflakes
into debonair swan upon
confetti lakes.
I wanted to steal the stars
from the sky, and stick them on collages
I wanted to craft daisy perfection
on the sighs of summertime
I’d wrap my tears into plasticine
love hearts to show how much you
mean to me.
And this post-it note screwed
in frustration, can not possibly
express what I tried to spill from
over-turned candy paints and
origami messes.
Because-
it take’s more
than just blood,
to be a Father.
and more than these words
to ever
express how much I love you
Author notes
For my AP dad.. John94
Happy Father's Day..
I love you very much, and this poem couldn't possibly express that enough. I just hope you already know.
jess
***** I WOULD BE REALLY GRATEFUL IF THE PERSON WHO FEATURED THIS TOLD ME, SO I COULD THHANK THEM **** It might hav been my AP dad.. but I don't know.. Thankyou so much whoever it was
"hope this inspires me"
Written June 18th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 84 of 84
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coles1452
inspiring! Touching! Tender! Much love behind it. -
You way of words is totally and incredidably awesome. I really loved reading this poem, and the imagery is really intense. Dads are really special, especially the "heart and soul" dads, like your AP dad. Its awesome that you have someone special like that. Many blessings for you and your dad, and thanks for entering this poem
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You have such a wonderful way with words. I love this piece, I think it's my favourite so far. It captured me right away, and usually I can tell from the first few lines whether I'll like a poem or not. Loved it. xXxRavenxXx
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Aw that is strange! Glad you read this one though it means a lot to m.e. thankyou
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ButterflyCut, that was absolutely beautiful! Your dad wrote a poem for you and entered it in my contest and it gave me chills (first one so far to give me chills since I came here a month or so ago), and he sent me your way. Strange, the first one I read of yours is to him and is absolutely amazing.
Kimberly G.
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Thanks lolly
Glad you liked it
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Oh wow this is simply amazing.
Its such a vivid poem and very deep felt.
The love you express and the images you
create from your words is simply brilliant.
I really enjoyed this. -
Again, a simple concept, more fitting language and the personification was well used. Slightly different style from the first two I read, which I definitely appreciate.
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i really liked this, this was amazing it brought tears to my eyes
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Thanks again.. yes. my AP dad is lovely
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this is beautiful,I wish i had a dad i could love like this. But we are not all lucky. it a very beautiful delicate write i enojoyed the read very much,
your friend and sis
creiddylad -
yea.. my AP daddy does mean a lot to me
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Father figure, same thing... It's still beautiful.
=) <3 -
Thankyou, unfortunately, John is not my real life father, that is a very different story..
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Beautiful
I wish I had a father...
I will never know what it feels like though, I am green with envey for this love you share with him. This love that seems to be stronger then anything I have ever known. And so clever in the way you say it too... Love your work, as usual.
~Raven. -
If I could do one thing over again, it would be to pay more attention when the little one brought their 'gifts' crayon sketches, clay figures and such...
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Wow, this amazing... As usual. You are so special. And you WILL be famous for writing when you grow up.
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sorry about that.. i have added it
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very good, but please make sure you read the rules. thank you
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Thankyou sweety Hugs..
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i definitely like it a lot more now.
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Sorry for your loss, lost soul. And though you can't physically 'go' where your father is, in essence he is with you, always, so close he is a part of you! Read it to him and remember. . .this is how we keep those we love alive. much love, John
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Yes, you're right about the apostrophe..
I will go check out your poem
Love you
jess -
Thankyou Glad you liked it
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WONDERFUL
This is very touching and sweet. Wonderful write. I loved the journey of childhood within this poem. Brought back sweet memories of yesterday. Very well done and a beautiful gift you've penned. Blessings! Tammy -
Butterfly ... Gosh almighty, everytime I read your works I am just totally astouned by them, especially the 'special effect' ones, which inspired me to write my own 'special effect' poem (yes, my poem Carnegie Hall is all thanks to you and your fantastic way of writing!) which was actually very popular on here, so I owe you for that one!
One correction here: it take’s more - I don't think you need the apostrophe in there, "It takes more" is the way it should be, I think ..... ?
Nice job on this; I really enjoyed reading it
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Lovely write - for any kind of dad this says loads. Sentiment well expressed, easy to read and understand. Liked this.
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Thanks hunny Glad you liked it
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Nice
Wow this piece is so goo i'm happy I clicked on this .I read it and it was i my expresive wow it's so nice.I'm sorry about your father.. I'm sure your father knew already..
Nice piece.
♥Freddy♥ -
I'm sorry about your father.. Glad you liekd it.. I'm sure your father knew already..
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Very nicely done. I like this very much and wish I could send it to my father but unfortunately I cannot as he is no longer on this earth. He has gone to the place where we cannot go as of yet.
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Thanks sweety.. glad you liked it
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that is truly amazin!
your way with words is almsot breathtaking
WOW -
Thankyou Have a luffly day too!
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very interesting write. wonderfully done. A wonderful father's day poem. I love the symbols you though out this piece. it is very expressive. thank you for sharing it with everyone. have a wonderful day.
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Aw that is sweet of you, well, I hope I do get published one day
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this is another great one! how do you always pull it off?? this describes a child's (childlike) adoration for her father. it shows the kind of unconditional love that only a child can give, in their innocence. what's your secret, hun? how do you always write so beautifully? i remember you saying that you wanted to be published- i say go for it. they'd be crazy not to publish you. actually, THEY should be begging YOU to publish your things. i hope you're doing okay, and il ttyl.
~*Sarah*~ -
Dad
Thankyou for being more of a Dad than I have ever had.. I love you with all my heart, I am glad you liked it, I hope you had a lovely day.. I'm sorry I missed you, didn't get to talk.. I had a minor crisis to deal with
Will talk to you tomorrow.
I;m glad you liked it..
Love you more than words could express..
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Beautifully Done
This is so sweet! I love the use of the drawings. I really liked this one....it was very full of emotion and love for you ap dad.
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makemecrybeautiful!
Awwww! You melted my heart when I first met you, and you have been sopping up the juices ever since! I sometimes want to contain you as an innocent, a mere child, and I apologize for that, not only because you're not a child, but a vibrant, intelligent, beautiful, soul-full woman, but really, you have more wisdom than I in many instances! You make me believe in old souls, and that yours has been counseling and inspiring others for eternity. Perhaps you are an Elven maid, eternally young, full of pixie-spriteliness, or a muse from Heaven above, sent to the Earth to help us fool humans figure out what is true and beautiful about life. Whatever my dear daughter, you are Love, and Light, and Purity in my heart. My stupid eyes are misting now as I think of how much you mean to me--I love how you used the drawing and art metaphors, for words can be so stumbling at times, like mine feel now--Thank you for bringing Truth and Joy to my heart, and for the honor of being a small part in your life as well. You are gorgeous! I love you kiddo! (see how he covers tears with humor?) You really made my day with this gift, as you've made my life happier with your gift of love in my life! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Much love, pop
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Awwwww cuute!! Wow well done x
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beauituflly sweet and innocent from a young girls' eyes. i love it.
<3Laura -
this was utterly amazing... and i dont know what else to say...
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Thank you for the info, sweetie..Since I am basically native american, we always called them braids but we are never too old to learn something new!!
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he, I don't think I will try that.. I don't know her.
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LOL Just smack her with a fluffy stick. She'll love you forever.
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ok goods.. :S She's scary lol
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LOL Naw, she's just blunt. She doesn't play around with words. I read the exchange between you two and that's just her.
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Thankoyu
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Thankyou, in England they are called plaits
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Thankyou Mum I hope he likes it
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Thankoyou I hope it is ok, and that he does like it. Now I have worked on it a bit, I am a lot heppier with it.
Hugs
Jess
p.s - I think I pissed Blkwidow77 off. :S -
I'm glad you like it Mum.. yes, it is plaits..
I hope he does like it..
Love you loads, hope you're doing ok
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Thanks sweety
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Your love shows through as you try to create a special gift for your father on Father's Day. Great choice of words, I don't think you should have to change anything. The love is there. That's all that's needed.
Joan -
Jess this is wonderful. I love it. I agreed with James on all that he said but I love your work just the way it is...yours. I always enjoy your work, and I'm sure that your AP dad will love it also. I really like the imagery as well. Really great job on this.
<3 Catherine -
I love this poem. I understood every word and found myself relating to the little girl as she was crafting for her father. The frustration in not being able to create what she invisioned.
Being a hairstylist and a girl familiar with English terminology, I am quite familiar with plaits. It is a common term for braids among the british.
I absolutely love this poem for its structure and flow. Your words flow with beautiful imagery and love. It is a wonderful tribute to your AP father. I imagine that this will be tucked deep inside his heart. A treasure from you.
With love and pride I call you my creative and loving little butterfly.
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I like the use of plaits... sounds so much better than braids or anything else someone might use.
Someone don't know what plaits are? Ye gods, it's a sad world.
I was totally lost on what to add/take away from this. It's more of an emotional write, as opposed to something that can be raped into a "what is popular in poetry right now"... and I've been trying (without success) to write something for my father. I never do things on time, so that's to be expected.
I think you did a damn good job with this, though. Without my help (though I doubt I would be much help anyways...I'm what I call emotionally constipated) you really created something you should be proud of. Really nice work, and that ending is perfect. And so true.
Meli -
This was a totally wonderful poem - the descriptions were excellent throughout and really 'real' too! (if you know what I mean??). The little things that life is really about were described here.
Really personal and yet still easy to relate to!
Sarah Louise Hudson
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Beautiful! your dad will totally love this! - MKN
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I think the changes made it just perfect, but you can change "plaits" to "braids" for that is what they are..I should know, have wore them for years..LOL..anyway a beautiful and moving write..I wonuldn't change anythign else except maybe that one word. Blessings always!
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What a lovely tribute to your AP dad on this special day. I love the arts and crafts theme you used to express your love and appreciation. Very nice. ~ Sue
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nice. i do like it better now... glad i could help.
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Thankyou I hope so..
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'It take’s more
than just blood,
to be a Father. '
How true indeed. Any father would be pleased to receive such a gift as these words. Great job. Truly from the heart. -
right.
1 - changed that to waxed crayons
2 - plaits are like two bunches..
3 - i guess it could, hmm.. i will think about that.
4 - yeah, cliche, i like it too though
5 - i liek daisys.. daisy chains are pretty
6 - people sigh a lot in summer, everything is lazy, even the wind..
7 - hah a.. yes, leftovers from a take away.. hmm.
8 - yeah, i'll look at athat again, not meant to be sweat, eww.
glad you liked the end.
Thankyou sweety for your honesty
I will look over it again with all that.. thankyou
</3 you
jess -
ok so you wanted an honest opinion... so here is my inital reactions to each line or thought... it's not really a critique so much as whats going on in my head as i read it. anyway here it is:
what are feathered crayons?
second stanza is great
what are plaits?
muttering makes me think of being angry
stealing the stars is cliche, but i still like it.
i like collages
craft daisy perfection sounds cool
summertime can sigh?
wrap... plastic... .leftovers
i like the post-it note.. screwed confuses me
brow.. spilling... what is this sweat?
Because-
It take’s more
than just blood,
to be a Father.
....wow.. .perfect.. well said
yeah... i really like the whole ending. -
yes.. you get it perfectly Thankyou..
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It makes absolute sense and it makes sense absolutely..the despair I talk of is not to create sadness but the concept of I tried but couldnt or I tried but he doesnt know...beautifully done
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I don't think so sweetie. I don't even see any spelling mistakes. Really - it's perfect. He will love it, as he loves you.
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Thankyou so much Any suggestions at all..?
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Thankyou, I just want it to be perfect.. Any suggestions, or bits you think need working on? Thankyou so mcu
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Fantastic poem. I'm sure your dad will appreciate it. =) The flow and rythm work well. I love the descriptions, And you're right there are never enough words to express how much you love someone. A great write. Keep writing!!!
~marie lee
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Honey, this is excellent as it is. It's a whole story of your quest for a father's day gift. I love it. Don't do a thing to it.
"It takes more
than just blood,
to be a Father."
That makes the whole thing. -
Thankyou hunny Any suggestions at all?
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Thanks sweety, any suggestions at all?
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The past tense.. i wanted to give him everything, the mon, the stars, to show how much he means to me, all i do have, is this poem.. which could not possibly express that. But I tried, and I hope that he does knwo hwo much I love him.. does tha make sense..?
Thankyou for readng it
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this is so touching, so true. aww, wow.
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I am not much of a teacher for I do not possess a repertoire of syllables meter forms and the lot for organised poetry and yet I am what I am whence it comes to the gist of the poem and the feelings of the poet and over here I am left with a wonderful feeling of love for one's father and the brilliant images you concoct using a range of varied metaphors but then I am left amiss for the past tense an abject despair used gives me a sad feeling of what could have been,isnt now Shubs
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Wow..this is really beautiful and I could picture the imagery that you provided. I hope your AP dad enjoys this because I can tell it's from the heart. Nice work hun.
~Midnight~
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Thankyou Yeah.. I dont know whether my real dad will hate me more if i say happy father's day or not.. :S
Is there anything that didn't work so well? or that idk.. anything?
Love you..
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jess...i seriously think it's perfect as it is...you did a fine job in expressing your love for your dad.... i wish i had told my dad how much i loved him before he died...even when he was a complete ass...... peace and z desiree
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