I would collect the stars and moon for you
The stars reflecting the shine in your eyes
You brighten up my life like a million fireworks
There's not one spark that doesn't burn for you
~*~
Your embrace is like amphetamine to my heart;
Leaving me with a never ending high and desire
Your words of love coax my entire soul
Every second with you is like pure magic
My heart is drenched in kerosene;
A passionate flame only for you
Like a sunset in the sky;
You color my world with hope
You hold my world in your hands;
I know that you'll never break it
Like pink pastel roses;
You make me feel beautiful
Breathe into my soul;
Inhale my love for you
I'll sew all of your scars;
Exhale your purest bliss
Draw sharpie hearts in my soul;
They're permanent so they'll never fade
Our hearts are intertwined together;
Scorching like lava to become one
I'd draw the midnight sky on your wall;
Our names laced in the middle of it
Just look at it whenever you're lonesome;
I promise that I will always appear
~*~
My dearest beloved, I cherish you
I will love you until the stars refuse to shine
You are engraved into my heart;
That's where you'll always reside
Author notes
I love you, baby ♥
Love, obviously.
In a list
A contest entry
- Raw Emotions (suicide and lust) by MoonlightMistress.
300 points, ended June 25, 2006, 2 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Is In The Air!! by Mrs Snead.
450 points, ended March 23, 2007, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bittersweet and Real-World Happy. by infinite spirit.
550 points, ended April 24, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - To Understand Love by Celticjedi.
450 points, ended April 22, 2007, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What the HELL?! by Hersheys Kisses.
600 points, ended May 31, 2007, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Love Gay People by ISheHer.
375 points, ended June 23, 2007, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - love(options) by forever and ever.
700 points, ended June 29, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Any Kind Of Love Story by Edwards Bella.
375 points, ended June 29, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - Romance: Love, Fantasy and Passion by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 122 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Is Eternal by Heartsafires.
2600 points, ended July 4, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's all about Love by ButterflyforChrist.
550 points, ended July 25, 2007, 35 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by Madison Mary.
650 points, ended September 10, 2007, 63 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 'Til Death Do us Part by Ich bin das Ender.
475 points, ended September 3, 2007, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [[your a superstar]]...*whispers* i love you by XInsanity-FairX.
450 points, ended October 28, 2007, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love by Roseycheeks15.
300 points, ended November 23, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OPTIONS! by NiccyNightmare.
1000 points, ended December 16, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Positive energy by Indeed.
323 points, ended December 30, 2007, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry, Poetry and PreWrites! by Lost Vampyre Angel.
1200 points, ended September 13, 388 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Very much the love poem. Great imagery and emotions. Good luck
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Wonderful!
This was really beautiful, and really touching! I absolutely loved it, and I thought it was well done! Thanks for entering -good luck! -
Wow very much full of love for some lucky person, some great lines in this poem. wow you have won a gazillions awards for this poem and it is very good. Thanks for your entry and good luck to you in the contest. xxx
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I like sharpie hearts!!! Good job
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this is amazing. You have like a million awards on it, all well deserved. Loved this part:
My dearest beloved, I cherish you
I will love you until the stars refuse to shine
You are engraved into my heart;
That's where you'll always reside
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"I would collect the stars and moon for you
The stars reflecting the shine in your eyes
You brighten up my life like a million fireworks
There's not one spark that doesn't burn for you"
This is perhaps one of the sweetest and least cliche love poems I've ever laid eyes on. Whoever this is for, if anyone, should feel extremely honoured to have such a poem dedicated to them. Wow. Just blew me away.
. Rewarded 8
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This poem definately radiates a lot of beautiful, sweet and tender feelings within the lines here. You have done an excellent job expressing yourself towards the one you've written this for.
The write felt a little bit cliché in my opinion, but then again, writing about love without cliché is impossible - so I'm not going to make a point out of this
Thank you for entering the contest, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
Terrific Write!
Loved the way it depicts the feelings...
Lo-Amo!
Salute!!!
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wow this won ALOT.
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i really like this poem. i really wish tht i could put things into words like u can. this is an amazing write. thanks
. Rewarded 4
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wow... this poem is very deep. although it seems a tad bit obsessive but not the bad kind. I really liked how it started out, that made me smile big. I love intence poems with a lot of imiagery. (sorry I know I can't spell that well... it sucks that this thing doesn't have spell check. I would give you more opinons on this.... but unfourninally... I am sick and need to get off here and take some medicine.
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Aw very very beautiful!
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"Your embrace is like amphetamine to my heart;"
hehe. I like it. I do like the poem.....however you violate a rule of the contest: not making your notes for me, and contest whore. Please, you're a great poet--submit a different poem, but I cannot in good faith award another trophy to this poem.
good write, though. however generic that saying is, I really don't say that often.
in other words:
yes. i, like everyone else, am giving you high praise.
now submit a poem w/o a trophy to its name. -
aw this poem is fantastic.
I loved it. -
Woah.. i was not expecting that.. that was just pure Awesomeness. imagery.. Happiness. and Only pure love.. wowsers...
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I love this poem so much. I have so many enteries to sift through, I can give you a detailed comment later. Okay
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a very beautiful poem, no wonder you have won so many trophies, thanks for entering and good luck!
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This is wonderful!! Definitely very high up there in the contest. good luck.
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Re-read my rules please
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Um, I put my name in the Author's notes.
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Beautiful, the imagery in this was fantastic, the love really jumps off the page. It was written in a very unique style that works very well. Not your average love poem, wonderful write. Thanks for entering and good luck.
♥ -
AWesome! you got so many prizes fot it..........you deserve those indeed.
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WOW! i love this poem. Its so good. You have some good talent with writing!
Good luck in contest -
Thank you I love it!
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wow, this is great, i love this how you used ordinary things, to express the most magical of emotions. very creative, it is beautiful.
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This is so sweet! I love everything about it, it is a beautiful piece.
Thank you for entering and all the best in the contest.
~katiebird -
Awe! So sweet. Beautiful, I love everything about it :0)
Good luck!!!!
Leslie
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wow
this is absolutly amazing
i'm lost for words
it was so sweet and dripping with love
and i can relate, it's almosst exactly how i fell too
it was just...wow
thanks for entering and good luck
xxxx -
oh my goodness!!! this is so cute!!!! i truely loved this and could feel your emotion.... thank you so much for entering and good luck!
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I love this;
and as for the amphetamine, research has found love to affect the same areas of the brain as cocaine, or even ecstacy... and in fact for the first couple years the buzz from your partner is quite literally a high.
=> Jess
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OH LOVE LOVE LOVEE!!!!
LOVE. the glories of love.
This poem made me smile! its so beautiful and so pure!
I wish you the best of lucks!!
thank you for this amazing poem that reminded me love stills there, even the bad experiences ive had, it made me think of the real and pure love I could ever felt.
<3<3
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great write,
good luck -
wow great write. thanks for entering my contest. and good luck.
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a wonderful piece of poetry. and i can tel lmany others thought the same way. bravo on many awards. Thsi is definaetly a great one.
tory -
Thanks for entering and best of luck from the moderator staff.
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well written and you are lucky to have your partner as your guardian angel to watch over you and take care of you when ill etc - truly spoken deeply from the heart but i think you could had used different if not better metaphors than amphetamines and kerosine. many blessings always xxx
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This is a really good poem.. i like it.. sorry its taking so long.. lots of stuff goin on as the break is comeing to an end.. lol.. thanks for joining and good luck in the contest..
Laters
Loves...*hugs* -
Wow, you finally named it! LOL, never thought ya would
I miss you, dear, and I love ya bunches!
Jeanettey*~ -
The only problem is you need a title...
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I agree with J p, all the trophies are slightly offputting, but the poem is absolutely fantastic. You've written what so many people have wanted to say for centuries. This is such a fantastic poem, well done! And good luck!
ps. I'd give you more applause if I could
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very sweet but...you entered it in so many contests... slightly offputting... but one of the sweetest poems so far!
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Sorry but this poem isnt what im looking for in my contest. its a good poem otherwise.
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you shall remain anonymous. would you like to title your poem or keep as is? thank you for your entry! great write. truely beautiful!
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Breathe into my soul;
Inhale my love for you
I'll sew all of your scars;
these simple lines speak wonders
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WOW! Excellent vocabulary and imagery! Very creative and clever I must say! This is marvalous work. Thank you for entering. Bravo Hun! Best wishes to you in the contest!!
Jackie ♥ -
breathtaking and just amazing!
i love the imagery and all the ideas
this is a GREAT write
good luck
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i think your too good.
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This is totally breathtaking, congrats for all the trophies you have won with this piece. Thank you for entering my contest, and good luck to you.
Chelsea
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Very beautiful and full of love....
Liked it...
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OMG.
This is amazing. I love it. I love it. I love it.
I'd give you a bazillion applauses if I could.
But I can't
So here's three!
<3BD9
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Beautiful! Great depth and emotion! This is wonderful! I'm quite speechless! Just wonderful! Thanks for entering!
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Such depth of emotions in this write. The love is felt all the way through it.
Thank you for entering and Good Luck!
debbie
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Very good poem. Very well written. I loved it. I know this is how I would feel if I had a boyfriend. I would have to say the first stanza is my favorite.
"I would collect the stars and moon for you
The stars reflecting the shine in your eyes
You brighten up my life like a million fireworks
There's not one spark that doesn't burn for you"
Keep on writing and keep up the good work.
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Beautiful Write
Can't deny the river of love that runs all through this. You used imagery very well. I really liked this. Good luck and thanks for entering. Hugs~ Cuddles -
This is a great poem. Best of luck and thank you for entering!
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such a romantic piece...filled with the deepest emotion - love wonderfully captured in your words...thankyou for sharing and good luck
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goodness I adore this piece baby always makes me cry, it's so gorgeous
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wow amazing writing and good luck
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The author of this poem has created a very romantic and passionate picture for the reader to become absorbed in, and even the hardest of heart couldn’t help but soften to this piece of work. I read this work several times to figure out why the author has separated the first and last stanza for emphasis but think it was for aesthetic value rather than anything else as each of those stanzas is as strong as any within the poem.
I feel there is an intensity in the words of this poem that not only depict the fullest emotions of love but also a deep mind set that it will stay that way and this is shown in words such as “never ending, never break it, permanent, and engraved.”
I can clearly see why this poem has already attracted the attention of so many readers and also won trophies but I feel all those people have been whisked away, as indeed was I, by the powerful emotions and the intensity of the multitudinous imagery in this poem. It’s instant ‘pulling power’ if you want to call it that. I’m not saying that isn’t a good thing for a poem to do but when viewed objectively a poem should work for many reasons and not just one. I think this poem already succeeds in many areas but the imagery was over done by using so many metaphors, stars, fireworks, amphetamines, kerosene, (vile smell which doesn’t do anything for me) flames, sunsets, roses, sharpie hearts, lava, and midnight sky. How many metaphors does one 8 stanza love poem need? In my opinion just a few but each one could be elaborated on, even one per stanza would feel more acceptable as when I read this poem I felt like I was constantly being rushed on to the next image just for the sake of it, and the deeper meaning was overlooked.
One line I feel isn’t in the right place or could be changed is “I'll sew all of your scars” in stanza 5 as the rest of the stanza is about breathing, inhaling and exhaling. I didn’t see the relevance of that line in context of the others.
I found the concluding stanza, which is often the strongest or cohesive one in a work, to be of equal value as the others and therefore left me with a feeling that there was more to come. I’m not entirely sure whether this is a positive or negative response to be left with but as I said at the start, I can see the attraction and think this poem is one of the better ones I’ve had the pleasure of reading for this contest.
Just as a last thought, an apt title would be a bonus. If the author finds it hard to think of one then maybe some suggestions could be offered by its readers.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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holy shit this poem was awesome! thanks a bunch for entering it in my contest good luck and best wishes!
xo
kandy -
WOW! you've been in a lot of contests with this poem. I really loved it! as i read it, it reminded me of how i felt about my boyfriend. I love him so much, and i would do all of that for him!! this was a great write. you keep it up! and good luck in the contest.
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i love this. it had a real dirty pretty feel to it. loved these parts.
Your embrace is like amphetamine to my heart;
Leaving me with a never ending high and desire
Your words of love coax my entire soul
Every second with you is like pure magic
My heart is drenched in kerosene;
A passionate flame only for you
Like a sunset in the sky;
You color my world with hope
just beautiful. -
Wow, this was truly and amazing and inspiarationaly write. Terrific use of imagery and metaphors......I could feel you passion in this poem and you kept me entranced to the very end. I was totally enthralled with this. "I would collect the stars and moon for you
The stars reflecting the shine in your eyes" I love this line so much. It was a perfect way to start this poem off. "You are engraved into my heart;
That's where you'll always reside" This was a great ending to an even better poem. Keep this up....This just might have been the best poem I have ever read on here..............
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This is beautiful
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aw, this is beautiful!! emotion flows through this poem so well!! thanks for entering! ttake care, sam (Dreams27) xxx
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Great
You have a love for your spouse that the newer generation doesnt understand. keep up the great work. good luck in the contest
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Yearning for his touch
I have felt this love. Even thought they felt it to. I think it's beautiful that you found a reciprocated kind of love. That can last beyond each touch. -
WOW! That is so breathtaking... I feel a sense of almost utter suffication in emotions just reading it. The weight of the world pressing me down into an enclosed space. That was just... WOW.
. Rewarded 4
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Very dear
Normally I skip poems as these, but I found it well written with love.
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it's a 12 out of 10!!
beautiful, Its amazing, its awesome,
basically i love it!
It was a love poem but its not mushy,
I love your choice of words,
you are a very talented writer i hope you know
BEAUTIFUL POEM!!!
~Jessi~ -
Very very well written! You have done a wonderful job with this poem. I'm sure whom ever you wrote it for liked it! Well done and goodluck in the contest!
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This was soooooo amazingly sweet. :]. It was beautiful. i lovedddddd how you had words like arsenic in it, and it was a love poem, that really made the poem stick out and shine to me.
Draw sharpie hearts in my soul;
They're permanent so they'll never fade
Our hearts are intertwined together;
Scorching like lava to become one
I'd draw the midnight sky on your wall;
Our names laced in the middle of it
Just look at it whenever you're lonesome;
I promise that I will always appear
^ I loved that, it was lovely. :] -
This is soooooooooooooooooooooo loving and strong. The person this is written to should be able to feel this love a million starshines away. Good luck in the contest. This was a joy to read. Blessings. d
psss.. just had to read it again..lol. -
One can feel the love in this one!!!!!! Best of luck in all the contests that you have this entered into darling.
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awh!
a gorgeous poem of the sweetest type of love...very nicely written....it brings forth wonderful images in my mind and heart -
This is beautiful. It expresses so much raw emotion..."My dearest beloved, I cherish you
I will love you until the stars refuse to shine...You are engraved into my heart;...That's where you'll always reside"
Those are my favorite lines. A lovely picture painted with words of the heart. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
. Rewarded 6
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This was a beautiful write. I was in love with your final paragraph. It makes a heart ache for the intensity of emotions scribed here. Very nicely done.
. Rewarded 4
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beautiful imagery.. i loved this
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