Illusions Of A Twilight Walk

Walking home in the twilight hours,
almost eighty degrees in the shade,
and I'm wearing heavy clothing to keep warm
and my heavy coat of pain that I can't take off.

Looking around to see the fireflies
or maybe the reflection of the mirror I broke.
Looking up to see the bright, beautiful stars
or maybe a cheap airplane polluting my sky.

I know where I'm supposed to be going
but I'm so incredibly lost and confused.
Walking with my head up and back straight
and knowing I'm still bleeding from re-opened wounds.

Was that a blooming flower that I walked past...?
No...Of course it wasn't...
It was just the disturbed earth from where I
buried my guilt earlier in the day.

My body is walking north back home
but my heart is pulling me back towards you
were I dropped you off in your own personal hell.
So I pull my coat closed tight around me so maybe it will go away.

But I'm just pulling the pain closer and making it a part of me.

Reverse and forwards, there and back again.
I help you and I tear you apart.
Helping you be just as sick as I am,
and sending you back for a punishment.

When all I want to do is keep walking...

Maybe if we walk far enough into hell,
we'll end up underneath the sunset.
Or maybe my broken mirror will still pretend to be fireflies
and the airplane will still tell us that it's a shining star.