You tell me that I’m [p e r f e c t]
I tell you there’s no such thing
In my eye’s though,
You’re the [c l o s e s t]
To ever reaching such a [l e v e l]
Of . . .
You tell me that I’m [b e a u t i f u l]
I tell you you’re [d e l u s i o n a l]
In my eye’s though,
You’re the [o n e]
Deserving of such a [c o m p l i m e n t]
Of . . .
You tell me
[t r u t h]
You tell me
[l i e s]
You cause my
[s m i l e]
You cause my
[c r i e s]
All because,
You tell me,
I tell you:
You tell me.
Author notes
Hmm, it appears all the formatting of this piece has been lost. There were indentations to change the shape of the poem which did add to the actul feel. Hopefully the plainer format won't detract too much from what is written.
Written June 25th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Very Good
A really stark piece, kind of cuts to the chase, i liked the way you wrote it, the way the lines fed into each other.
It's very honest - a really good piece.
James
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thanks for the clarification
that is a beautiful way to write things -
I like the style you used with the parentheses and the way you you worded it...very well done!
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In a way, yes, it is to allow the reader to put in what they want. My belief is that true, good poetry makes the reader think and allows them to draw their own conclusions without force feeding the ideas to them. The parenthesis are a good way to do this because it allows a "missing" part of the poem for the reader to introduce.
However, I also wrote it that way because really there is nothing to fill the parenthesis. It's emotion and thought that just can't be described in words, merely the silence parenthesis allows. -
I liked it though is the paratheses so the reader can put what they want in?
anyway excellant write -
Wonderful job on this! I liked how you boxed the adjectives in this. It really added a lot to this poem! I agree... no one's perfect, but I also have some people pretty close to my heart that I think are almost perfect. I loved this write, great job!!!
~Haley~ -
Awww amazing poem hun =] Nothing new there! Love you much! xxxxx <3
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