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Love Derailed: "Did I Shave My Legs for This?"

Missing image





My engine stalled,
delayed at the infernal crossing,
waiting on a train
that never left the station.

The conductor never punched a ticket
or a clock,
nor did he cry out "Alllll aboard!"
in a raucous, weary voice.

I was left
sitting there,
alone & aggrieved,
drenched by the night ~

horns blaring behind me,
the lack of flashing lights & barrier arms
causing unlimited dilemmas
in their non~existent wake.

Perhaps I should have left the bag unpacked,
the toiletries stored in the cabinet.
Perhaps I shouldn't have razored my legs so hard
with yearning.

Maybe I shouldn't have risen that morning,
anticipating rocking cars
& darkness blazing with fiery~eyed splendor.

How could I have known,
unless I'd left the house
to find the roadblock ahead?

I sighed & gripped the wheel,
my curses far outweighing those
from behind me.

I got out
& started pushing,
sullen & worn.



            ~ July 4, 2006
                12:50 a.m.




Author notes





Option 3:

Choose any of the following songs as a title and run with it...

"Did I shave my legs for this?" by Deena Carter


Picture credit: "Night Ride" by Howard Pincus and Robert Hart, Jr. (1985)


www.lyricstime.com/rickie-lee-jones-night-train-lyrics.html



"Night Train"
by Rickie Lee Jones

"Here I’m going
Walkin’ with my baby in my arms
’cuz I am in the wrong end of the eight ball black
And the devil, see, he’s right behind us
And this worker said she’s gonna take my little baby
My little angel back
But they won’t getcha,
’cuz I’m right here witcha
On the night train

Swing low, saint cadillac
Tearin’ down the alley
And I’m reachin’ so high for ya
Don’t let ’em take me back
Broken like valiums and chumps in the rain
That cry and quiver
When a blue horizon is sleeping in the station
With a ticket for a train
Surely mine will deliver me there

Here she comes ...
I’m safe here with you
On the night train
Oh mamma, mamma,
Concrete is wheeling by
Down at the end of a lullaby
On the night train"


"Company"
by Rickie Lee Jones

"I’ll remember you too clearly
But I’ll survive another day
Conversations to share
When there’s no one there
I’ll imagine what you’d say

I’ll see you in another life now, baby
I’ll free you in my dreams
But when I reach across the galaxy
I will miss your company

Company
I’ll be looking for company
Look and listen
Through the years
Someday you may hear me
Still crying for company

So now you’re going off to live your life
You say we’ll meet each other now and then
But we’ll never be the same
And I know I’ll never have this chance again
No, not like you

So, I’ll see you in another life now baby,
I’ll free you in my dreams
But when I reach across the galaxy
I will miss your company

Company
I’ll be looking for company
Look and listen
Through the years
Someday you may hear me
Still crying for company"


"A Lucky Guy"
by Rickie Lee Jones

"Oh, he’s a lucky guy
Oh, he’s a lucky guy
He doesn’t worry about me
When I’m gone
He goes to sleep at night
He don’t turn off the light
And wonder how to find me
Or if I’m alone

Oh, he’s a lucky guy
I wish I was like him
Cuz when he talks about me
He don’t look this way
He’s a lucky guy

He used to walk with me
He used to talk to me
See, we have these secrets
That no one else could hear
Well, he’s not the only one
No, no not the only one
But what happens to them?

Do they matter?
Do they disappear
Into a lonely girl?
Now I’m a lonely girl
Cuz I want somebody with me in the world
Oh, he’s a lucky guy

Fontune walks right in the door
And here I am
Just like before

Well, I’m not gonna turn around
I’m not his pretty clown
I’m not the one caught
Like he thought
He was the last one I had there
Cuz I did a foolish thing
A real, real stupid thing

I told him I love him
And I want him there
When I knew he wouldn’t come

And I knew he didn’t care
And I’ll cry awhile
I’ll cry awhile
But when I wake up
Tomorrow is a new day
I’m a lucky guy
Hey, I’m a lucky guy
Real, real lucky guy
Hey, I’m a lucky guy"



Written July 4th, 2006

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 35 of 35

  • lisamarie loves you
    November 28, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I really like it. No critiques, no exceptions, i just like it

    • Night Hope gold member
      November 28, 2006
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you...It's not my usual style... Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Poet. What a hoot this one was. Wanda

  • Endeavor
    August 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Congradulations, I loved it, Rick

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 13, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad you liked it, Rick...Yeahhh..."reality"... Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Endeavor
    August 12, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    Very clever, very well done

    How could I have known,
    unless I'd left the house
    to find the roadblock ahead?

    I sighed & gripped the wheel,
    my curses far outweighing those
    from behind me.

    I got out
    & started pushing,
    sullen & worn.


    Love the reality of it, Rick

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, Lynn... Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    August 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Yeahhh, I was kinda surprised myself, Trina... Thanks, Lady...See ya soon... Wanda

  • August 8, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Dear M'Dame~
    i love the song to begin with and your words are simply mesmerizing. to use "packed bags" as a metaphor as one is always "travelling" whether physically or metaphorically is just brilliant. prickly legs are dreadful i agree too~
    simply awesome writing and my absolute pleasure to read~
    bless you in all of your travels~
    lynn
  • FindingFate
    August 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    LOVE IT! I cannot believe you had a prewrite for that option. Wanda you amaze me lady...Trina

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 23, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks, Lady.

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for reading & for your kind & thoughtful comments, Elaine...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • misselaineous gold member
    July 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hey wanda
    i enjoyed the poem greatly - it had a lyrical sense and a refrain that hangs on air
    well done

    elaine

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Z, I take risks everytime I shave my legs...LMAO I'm damned~near lethal with a razor... Don used to laugh at me; I'd come out of the shower with lil' dots of tissue allllll over 'em... & that other nasty~smellin' stuff burns my sensitive skin...sighhh... But yes, M'am...Life ~ living ~ is all about taking risks...& I always keep a bag packed...I might be in a hurry to get somewhere... Thanks for hosting another grand one, my Friend... Wanda

  • Zayra Yves gold member
    July 18, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    One of the great things in our lives is taking risks. At least you have taken the risk over and over again to be out there in the world. I think it is always better to have smooth shaven legs and a good bag packed since you never know who you might meet while waiting...



    Thank you for a great poem.

  • July 17, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    this one is good!

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for reading & for your kind comments, Renee...I'm pleased you enjoyed it, my Friend...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • poetryality silver member
    July 16, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I love poetry that moves me. The "train" metaphor speeds these words along on an even track. Beautiful! The best to you in this challenge.

    Much LOVE,
    Renee

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for reading & for your kind comments, Serenahind...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Lady Altheia silver member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Very nice piece. I like the picture. Keep penning the wonderful poems you write.

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for reading & for your kind comments, Faithful Dreamer...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for reading & for your kind comments, Linake...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for reading & for your kind comments, neoladyem...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your kind, thoughtful comments, ScotsLass...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...The ones in the author's comments are song lyrics, by Rickie Lee Jones...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your kind comments, Gwenevere...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your kind comments, Aun Ali...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda

  • zillion
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    NO never mind, my left. I write with my right one.

  • zillion
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I'd give my right arm to be able to write like this.
  • hisgirlxo
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    YAY I love love love it!

    Pretty Piece...YAY! Okay so the whole thing is great, and pretty. The questions to it brings meaning to it, and answers dont exist in a meaning, because they are in your mind. You may not have written it to what I have said, but it is. without the answers, its like your not controlling everyone else. And thats why I love poems that have questions, but no answers. Some people anticipate the answers, but I anticipate the questions, so I can make my own answer to it. Any way this is great and I would love it if you wrote many more poems like this, I'd enjoy to read it. I would applaud it but I am saving for a contest and I used my four bonus applauses, so tomorrow I will be back! Wonderful...pretty like a kitty!

    ~Linake

  • neoladyem
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is full of awe and passion. I like the picture. Reall matches the poem in its form. You really made me a picture of what has happening in my mind. My favorite lines is because it's like a question we ask ourselves when things go bad:
    How could I have known,
    unless I'd left the house
    to find the roadblock ahead?

  • ScotsLass
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    The first one is worthy of applause, it is a superb example of free verse poetry. The metaphors woven throughout this piece are solid, relevant and brilliant. What I also love about it, is that it could go in more than one direction. The overall tone I got from it was one of bitterness, rejection and a general 'fed up' feel. Trundling through life can be tiresome, reading this poem verified that point. I'm sure many can relate.

    The others are also worthy of applause, although very differently constructed (they read more like song lyrics) they are well thought out and again, hold a very strong tone. The atmosphere is generally dark on all of the poems/lyrics but the colours could be enforcing that point, too. A lot of sadness on this page...

    The first one is my favourite, a lot of skill involved in its construction.

  • Gwenevere
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I saw this from quite a few angles.One was the frustration of being delayed, the other of someone who had decided to take their life on the crossing, only to be thwarted by the delay.Your poem painted mant pictures and scenario's in my mind.A great write, Well done.

  • Aun Ali
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    Strong background, good explanation. nice thought & idea. you made me feel the scene to happen in front of my eyes. So realistic.

  • Night Hope gold member
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    'ello, Darlin'... Lily Belle was worried 'boutcha, Ian...Then I got worried 'cause she was... Thanks for droppin' by, my Friend...Hope you're havin' a lovely 4th, Scribe...You know us Colonists...any ol' excuse for fireworks & a party... Wanda
  • ian sawicki
    July 4, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    a nicely, written, piece of poetry which you , have penned here. spill poetic ink and twist me turn me, into the wild lemony, crazy shape of unfathomable love...

1 - 35 of 35