SpiNning LiFE and DeatH

all the things u said running through my head
can't seem to think or breathe anymore
can't seem to take this anymore
screaming inside like a child on ecstasy
anger bubbling like a boiler on high
don't kno wat to think anymore
not myself, like my whole body has been tampered with and but on drugs
can't turn myself off
wat did i do wrong
hate seeing u run
even though were not togeather anymore u still love and care about me enough to kno im not like this normally
this thing is tearing me down
can feel it ripping at my heart and at my head
trying to suffociate me
losing touch with reailty
not sure if these are my own actions or the beast inside me
get out of my body leave me alone
why did u have to come back?
why did u have to rip another person away from me
not only that...but my other half.......
should i take it out myself?
should i stab and shred at my own flesh to get rid of this thing that is killing me?
im not going to let it hurt anyone else anymore....not again......
cold cement walls slam down around me.
my little space......
now i kno i will be safe...safe untill i am well enough to go out into the world again.....
untill i defeat this beast.....
spinning......
round and round....
waiting.......
life........
or death........