Sailor drifting on an endless sea
Of hatred and despair
Everywhere the waves are churning
While he stands alone out there
His ship is slowly sinking
As buckets pour on in
And he still is alone out there
Lost in all his sin
The Son is covered by darkness
As he gazes towards the sky
Alone in the eternal ocean
Wondering when he will die
He stood against the waves so long
Fighting for all that's right
He wasn't always alone out there
He used to have the Might
Ages went as his strength weakened
Until it was too late
Now he stands facing the sea
Alone in all his hate
The waves reach their peak
As he braces for the worst
And after each impact
He asks why he is cursed
The final wave comes crashing down
As he says one last prayer
Engulfed is the one alone
And now no one is there
Ship drifting on an endless sea
Of peacefulness and care
Everywhere the waves are calm
While it stands empty out there
The waves have long abated
Nothing but the sailor's fears
And now the storm brought a light rain
A show of Heaven's tears.
Author notes
I wrote this while bored in class. I seem to do my best work from spur of the moment ideas (Neighborhood of Me, Winter's Call, etc.) Enjoy!
Written July 18th, 2006
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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A wonderful write. I loved the rhyme and flow because, along with the wonderful choice of wording, it truly felt as if rocking on a ship at sea while reading your lines. Very well done. Spur of the moment really does seem to suit you (at least on this write, I haven't read the others).
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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My favorite stanza is the last one.
The piece is good.
It sounded forced in the following stanzas: 3,4,5,6,8.
Maybe work on the rhyme and smoothing out syllable consistency?
Otherwise, nice write. -
creative and inspiring
Hi, I think its great one of the best I've read, it really inspires 2 just let go and everythin will b ok I think... just let the chips fall where they may...
good work
. Rewarded 3
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great!!!
wow! that poem is absolutely amazing it describes everything so well. the imagery doesn't require me to work at it. it just shows up in my head as an artists picture. oddly enough this poem reminded my of the story of the flying dutchman. my mother used to tell me this story a lot when i was little. i would just sit in my bed and listen to her for as long as she talked. when i read your poem it just brought back so many memories... you got so many people to read your poems i wonder how long it will take before they start noticing my poetry. -
Oooooohhhhhh my gooodness this is so so so beautiful wow I love it and how you ended it even more this is perfect image was so great and it flowed ever so nicely I loved this wow you are talented!!
. Rewarded 4
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Looks really good! I like the feel of it and you have a good touch for personifying things in an allegorical fashion. Like "A show of Heaven's tears in the last stanza. The rhythm could be improved a bit (I think), but it is fantastic!
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Yes..this is what the life is..you have sketched the truth in your words bringing the depth of this world..I love your message..well done...
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keep up the good work, wonder if you were a sailor once.
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Bored in class huh well hopefully there wont' be test questions on what was covered. Wonderful write. You poem spoke volumes. So many of us can relate to it because many of us are standing in the same place.
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you wrote this while you were bored in class, i can hardly beleive that. either you are an amazing writer who can whip that up or something else. great job, it blew me a away. you have great talent.
^Xerox^ -
omg, you have a unique talent. i like this poem it paints a picture and I could really see what is really going on. You stay on topic and the rhymign scheme makes the poem flow easily and makes you keep going. I like the last stanza becasue it's wonderful and it shows a lot of feelings in this poem. Bravo. hahaha. Very good work of literature. Good job!
Blackstar16 -
It's good, particularly for a poem written while bored in class. You should've been paying attention though... meh. Good write.
Snugglehead x
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