Moon wanes with tepid intentions, a bit
truculent with indecent mutterings
glazed upon on her succulent lips,
wearied by Winter's
sick, slick monopoly
on destruction & despair ~
she wants to dance
beyond dirges,
sway sultry past Sorrow,
yet is held motionless
& mute
in the cold sky...
We are lost & confused,
bathed in starlight's glow,
unfound by the depths of Desire ~
there are no uttered sounds
profound enough to portray
what we feel this night,
what we must know
come morning,
although we murmur incessantly
& wildly whisper
of things yet to arrive,
undulating for the unbidden.
Whispered sojourns
incomplete us,
imagine us into obsolescence ~
angels snicker
behind their feathery partitions,
watching us spin & swirl
towards indecision
without recompense
for each breath delivered
by ardor & awe ~
with yearning
dripping from our fingertips,
icicles
drop
wordlessly,
warm echoes
shattering shadows into silence...
In a list
- Sorrow • next in list
- Saying Goodbye • next in list
- Edgier • next in list
- Passion • next in list
- Deep, Dark & Depressing as Hell • next in list
- Revisions of a Sigh (under construction) • next in list
- Inspired by Famous People • next in list
- Dedications (under construction) • next in list
- Poems on Poetry • next in list
- Gathering Possibilities • next in list
- Inspired by...Various (under construction) • next in list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 62 of 62
-
there are no uttered sounds
profound enough to portray
what we feel this night,
what we must know
come morning,
I think this piece perfectly captures the reasons why such notable poets decided to die at such an early age. It was the burden of knowing too much and too well. You have captured their swan song with a pen that not only glories them but also incessantly whispers your own name...
Excellent fare.
-
-
Thank you ever so much, Darcy. As I told Melissa in my reply to her comment, "My inspiration for this piece was essentially the thought of a depressive personality, perhaps a frustrated writer, giving birth & naming her (unfortunate) offspring after her two favorite writers...who just happened to have both committed suicide. Not a great prognosis for a child, to follow in those set-in-stone footprints...not exactly conducive to a happy, fun-filled life..."
Indeed, I think we artistic types are born old souls. We possess knowledge & secrets that cause us to spin in our dreams, when we are even able to sleep. As for me, I decided many, MANY years ago that "suicide by poet" was hardly an original venture. I intend to live to a ripe old age, die in my sleep, having just written my millionth poem & having cashed my last royalty check.
As if. Hey, just as long as I don't perish & become anything's dinner, I'll be good with it. 
Thank you for your thoughtful words, my Friend. Always a pleasure, Sweetie. 
Wanda
-
-
Another Masterpiece!
This was such a delight... an amazingly well crafted poem.
I'm continually in awe at your similes, alliterations, rhythm, flow, your always loving, personal touch.
As for the imagery... You captivate, you make it breathe, come to life, I'm completely mesmerized every time I read you, Scribe...
My favorite verse:
"with yearning
dripping from our fingertips,
icicles
drop
wordlessly,
warm echoes
shattering shadows into silence..."
Unbelieveably Beautiful!
I love you, Wanda! ~ Nicholas ~
-
oh my, i am undone..how on earth does one critique perfection? i am not really a writer, i pretend i can write - how i get what i get is a mystery, but you carve out a poem like a god(dess) might make a mortal being...for her pleasure and joy at her simple ability to create. I know you have studied to do this, it is obvious...i can only marvel at your abilities. blessings and best wishes, ~richard
-
-
Not really studied writing, Richard...took a few Lit. classes, yes...I've been writing since I was 14; I'm 48 now...Just practice, is all...& the aforementioned "mystery"...Thank you kindly, Sir...I'm pleased you enjoyed it so much...
-
-
It is so difficult for me to critique people that I enjoy and respect, so please take no offense if I end up being 'nit-picky'.
"trucelent with indecent" - I love the slight slant rhyme there, the words themselves are beauties but when put together they really do work well.
You use "succulent" in line three of stanza one and while that is one of my favorite words, I would have loved to see something different there. You are not ordinary and I felt this word was ordinary.
Stanza three is gorgeous, the sounds and the way that they fall off of your lips. Beautiful.
"although we murmur incessantly
& wildly whisper
of things yet to arrive,"
I felt that the first line would work better as 'murmuring incessently' and the second as 'wildly whispering'. Just personal preference again thats all.
Of course I loved this piece, it is filled with sadness but as with most of your work, even your sad pieces there always seems to be a sliver of hope. Beautiful Wanda.
-
-
Thank you very much, Melissa...for hosting, as well as for leaving such a thoughtful critique, my Friend...I don't often get one I can actually consider using...I don't think that's "nit-picky" at all, Lady; it demonstrates to me that you're actually READING it...not just looking at the words, but accessing them visually & phonetically...I think I chose "succulent" because of the quasi-connective sounds with "truculent"...I think I agree with you on the "murmuring incessantly" & "wildly whispering"; most people would have suggested I leave the "ing" off...which is how I initially had them, I believe...My inspiration for this piece was essentially the thought of a depressive personality, perhaps a frustrated writer, giving birth & naming her (unfortunate) offspring after her two favorite writers...who just happened to have both committed suicide. Not a great prognosis for a child, to follow in those set-in-stone footprints...not exactly conducive to a happy, fun-filled life...but yes, it seems no matter how dark I get, I always at least light a candle...Thank you, Sweetie...I'm quite pleased by your words... Wanda
-
-
@>-------
-
WOW! Talk about pensive. I really enjoyed this poem. But I'm so glad that when you go into the tunnel you take the light with you. I know I've said that before, but it needs repeating. It's such a big part of you that makes me happy. ~Mark
-
And you always help provide an oasis of your own, Ian...to guide the ones lost in the darkness...
Wanda
-
lost and confused - aye we roam that madness but we find little oasis' of light and swim life spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
-
Thank you for hosting & for your kind comments, Emily...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda
-
I looooove this piece. First, I enjoy that the first four stanzas are written in the point of view of the moon. Also, your word choice and vocabulary is smooth and top-notch. Your separation of stanzas and lines is unique and great. Last, I like how you capitalized the word "Desire" and the abundant use of the 's' sound, whether or not that was intentional. Excellent write!
Good luck in my contest!
Thanks for entering,
-- Emily. -
Don't worry, Baby; I'll protect ya...
I carry the Light with me wherever I go...even when I'm immersed in sorrows too deep to fathom...I, m'Dear, am a sucker for your purty words...
Wanda
-
Yes I enjoyed your sonata well.very dark indeed.Not kinda dark. Angels of ill intent are such a freaky idea to me. There's something unnatural about it to me. This poem cries of vexation. I am a sucker for the dark.
-
Thank you for reading & for your kind comments, Wendy...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda
-
This has such an amazingly well crafted flow! I even read it aloud; the words so well placed - like a tongue twister when said...
The lines that made me think the most:
"there are no uttered sounds
profound enough to portray
what we feel this night"
I love this... Like the thread that sews the lines together.
I am again left in awe. Your writing has such a potent and captivating quality, that is seldom found.
Certainly a piece worthy of gold!!!
-
Thank you, Mother Angst...Be well, Poet... Wanda
-
lovely
what vivid images abound in this poem! just lovely. -
Thank you for your gracious words, Ruby Alice. I'm pleased you enjoyed my work. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Hey girl, I love the vocabulary as well as your use of poetic devices in here, which I always look for, esp your use of sound. Great job!
-
Thank you for your kind words, tawk...I'm glad you liked it...Be well, Poet... Wanda
-
excellent
Such a fantastic and creative write, Wow is all I can say, you are so talented. Just a wonderful write
-
Thank you, my Sister.
-
oh, yes....another brilliant write..."she wants to dance
beyond dirges,
sway sultry past Sorrow,
"
this is so beautiful it hurts! -
Thank you so much, Lady... Wanda
-
Moon wanes with tepid intentions, a bit
truculent with indecent mutterings
glazed upon on her succulent lips,
wearied by Winter's
sick, slick monopoly
on destruction & despair ~
this part of the poam was simply fantastic, i loved this part of the poem i really did it just stood out to me, your beginnings are always brilliant and it leads over the whole poem
this is great work
thank you for entering
laura -
Thank you for your eloquent, elegant words, my Sister. Wanda
-
Thank you for your gracious words, lovelauren2177. I'm pleased you enjoyed my work. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Thank you for your gracious words, Noreen. I'm pleased you enjoy my work so much, dear Lady. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Thank you for your gracious words, my lovely niece. I'm pleased you enjoyed my work. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Smoosh, Darling... Wanda
-
Thank you for your silly & gracious words, Juanito. I'm pleased you enjoy my work so much, my Friend. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Esperanza de la Noche
-
Thank you for your gracious words, rosepoet. I'm pleased you enjoyed my work. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Thank you for your gracious words, twistedtiger. I'm pleased you enjoyed my work. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Thank you for your gracious words, Simpatia (love the new name, by the way). I'm pleased you enjoyed my work. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Thank you for your gracious words, Lynn. I'm pleased you enjoyed my work. I appreciate your kindness & your time. Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Wow... There are no words to descripe this. Your peices always leave me speechless, and this is no exception. Amazingly well penned my dear,
Simpatia
-
Wow!
i can really relate to this poem. to feel with every uttered breath of one's name, that unshakeable twinge; knowing who it is; is a quiet suffering one endures in silence and alone. your words speak to this with such
eloquence and personal heartache. i am once again; quiet.
silent and still. the lines:
"there are no utter sounds
profound enough to portray,
of what we feel this night"
is pure poetry; a snapshot of sorrow.
gorgeous poem
lynn -
Thank you for reading & for your kind comments, queens24...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet... Wanda
-
nice
I liked how you had the picture to go along with it. -
Thank you for hosting & for your kind words, my Friend...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...I certainly enjoyed writing it...I often refer younger writers to a vast wealth of older Poets...Reading them is what inspired me & helped me to grow as a writer, as well as helping me to become a better human being...AP has been instrumental in that process, as well...There are many people here who have taught me so much over the past 2 years...& you, dear Lady, were there from the beginning...Although we don't see each other often or for long, it remains an honor & a pleasure, Tina...Thank you for your spirit of generousity...Be well, Poet... Wanda
-
Yes, believe it or not there are quite a few people who do not know of Sylvia or Anne. I get asked often who these poets are and I send people to their OldPoetry pages.
You have an excellent piece here Wanda. One of your best that I have read. It is filled with sorrow in each word.
Thanks for entering.
-
Thanks, Lil' One. Mum
-
wow this is really good.. love it alot!
Lexie -
I must be a lil' warped, Dee; I liked your pun, my Friend. Actually, I titled it "Miss Sylvia Sexton's Sonata" for a reason; this is a rewrite/major revision of a poem in my book, "Swanee Sighs", titled: "Sexton's Sonata". With this one, I thought of some poor Soul whose mother was enamored of Plath & Sexton's works, naming her poor daughter after them, therby dooming her to a life of infinite sorrow. There are people with some very unfortunate names in this world. My name, Wanda Lea, means "weary wanderer"; I asked my mom if she'd known I was going to be a Poet. & you're right about people not being aware of them; AP did a poll not longer ago & 41% responding said they'd never heard of Walt Whitman. Sighhh...
I do my best to keep their legacies alive & breathing. Nahhh, I don't mind your opinion, Lady; it gave me a chance to elaborate & explain a bit more about my inspiration for this piece. I kinda like it; it's a bit different for me. Thanks for comin' by, my Friend. Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Uh...forgive me but, I'm not sure about the name-play on the title.
I know you wrote of both poets but the title reads (to me it does) that Sylvia's last name was Sexton.
I dunno, maybe I would have titled it "Sylvia and Anne's Sonata" or "Plath and Sexton's Sonata" something less confusing, especially for those who don't know of either poet. All though I can't picture anyone not knowing of either but, you never know around here
Hope you don't mind my opinion. You've nailed both these poets dead on, oops pardon the pun
-
there is somethng weeping, indeed, in this poem....the heart feels it, the soul softly turns to it and wishes to give it warmth...Great poem, Wanda...simply, as always, evocative.
-
Great job and great pic. This touched my heart too. Good luck with all your other poems to come. Good job!
-
As usual Wanda you work is beautifully penned. A great pic and soft and serene words to accompany it. This touched my heart..
Blessings,
Soulful Woman
Noreen -
Darling auntie
This fell upon me
like leaves from trees
that I laid amid
until I was hid.
Smoosh
Janet -
Muy nice !!
Q:Who wrote that, John?
A
h, that's Night Hope.
Q:Is that her real name?
A:No, it's Wanda.
Q:Wanda?
A:Yes
Q:She's pretty good, huh?
A:She's very good.
Q:How'd she learn to do it?
A:Nobody knows. Ask a bird if it is hard to fly.
Q:I see. Will she get even better?
A:Statistically she shouldn't, but she doesn't go in too much for statistics.
Q id you like this poem?
A:Yes I did.
Q:You sending this to her?
A:You betcha!
Mucho Amor,
Juanito -
Wondeful emotional expressions of feelings written here . This is an lovely piece of writing... Wonderful vocabulary as always.
A beautiful meaning with good imagery and wonderful flow.....
Great job,thanks for the read
keep up the awesome workHUGS
-
AWESOME
This was very good and really descriptive good job and keep up the good work -
Thank you for your kind words, October Rust...I'm glad you liked it so much...Please do come by my pages...I'm always postin' somethin'... Be well, Poet... Wanda
-
Awww, thank you, Meli... Thanks for your thoughtful words, Lady...I'm pleased you enjoyed it so much, my Friend...Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Thank you for your kind words, becks place...I'm pleased you enjoyed it...Be well, Poet. Wanda
-
Thank ye kindly, Lily Belle...Actually, I am considering doing a second book already... Thank you for your gracious words, dear Lady...I'm pleased you enjoyed it, my Friend...Be well, Poet. Wander
-
great
Wow, amazing writing. I really enjoyed this. This is a great poem. Ill have to read more of your work, this really captured my attention. This poem pulls you in and doesnt let go. -
Ah... that title was sure to draw me in. Sylvia, Sexton...
And I'm so glad it did. Wow. Can I say that again? Good. Wow! This is captivating!
I'm left with a sense of awe after reading this. This is just... just... wow.
Oh, I love it! ~~goes back for a second read~~
-
Wonderful vocabulary that gives the poem a nice texture and creates beautiful imagery.
-
ohhhh Wander... this is.... ohhhhhhhh
rushes to read it again YUM! So how long before book 2 comes out? waits rather impatiently 
I'm serious... this better be in that book Lady! Excellent write! The images are amazing; drew me right in and held me captive. Brava!
Love you lots,
Lily ♥
Adding your comment:
1 - 62 of 62
