All It took was a single breath of sadness from my soul
Beyond the rain I find it hard to feel anything anymore
Can't you see all that lays down to die
Doesn't just die without Anything to say
Even heaven cries in its own beautifully broken way
Finally sober I wake from this dream
Ghosts of yesterday was all this had been
Hating life a little more every passing day
I find beauty in the embers that are left behind
Just as we all echo our pain below, I cry
Keeping in mind my beautiful mistake
Let this dust fall from my tears
Make these shadows leave my ears
Nothing else could make me feel this way
Open feelings of doubt
Passing through memories in my mind
Quietly I die a little more inside
Requiem of love and dreams
Sometimes the world is not always what it seems
Things around me fall so fast
Unique drops of rain that never seem to last
Virtigo never looked so good
With my last breath I write
Your Dreams Are So Misunderstood
Author notes
For this contest i chose to write a poem using all the letters of the alphabet as well as 10 phrases from the list provided.
Written July 30th, 2006
A contest entry
- What About Everything by Hadji Murad.
300 points, ended August 22, 2006, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I can relate to this piece I think it is a very inspiring beautiful piece it was a very excellent write
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No offense here, I wrote it so fast i must have missed the grammar errors. Usually i read it over to catch things like this but i just posted it and logged off. I will fix them.
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I've reread the piece, slowly, and the only two things that really stood out was the (possibly intentional) double negative in, "Doesn't just die without nothing to say" This might have been an intentional employment, as I mentioned and if so it's just my niggling nature that is tweaked by it.
The tense difficulty was in this line, but it might also (in one part just have been a typo) "Ghosts of yesterday was all this has been" The grammatically correct verb tense would be 'were', although again, poets often intentionally twist tenses and other conventional grammatical forms to fit their purpose. The suspected typo was in "has." In reading it, aloud with my girlfriend and boyfriend, I actually read it had, and had to go back and reread it, because it was typed has. In my grammatical fanatacism it read "Ghosts of yesterday were all this had been"
I feel like a grammar nazzi even laying these things out like this ... I wasn't intending to police your poem, which I think was excellent and inspiring. Forgive me if I have given any offense. -
Thank you for your comment. If you would be so kind as to point out those typos and errors i will change them.
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Wow! This is fabulous! I'm envious, after already having written and posted my entry, just eeking in under the time the contest would close, I wish I'd thought of combining those two particular options. This is well written free verse, a couple of typos and tense errors, but beyond that exquisite in both its complexity and its message. Well done and very good luck to you!
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