I am on the edge of night
and I remember night-
it has embraced my arms
carried the weight of my spine
stood tall against the moon
and howled
In that starry moment
I may slip from your eye
and you might think of me
when your night crosses mine
and the time zone wishes a sunset
across the pond
I was the lifetime,
that never happened
the moment that ticked
and the clock that faced the wall
the sheer will of my soul,
wasn't enough
to hold you,
the night brushed dark blue
clouds upon my name
There were fireflies that night
they danced under the moon
and the sounds of frogs courting
made us laugh
ladybugs made their way
along sticky summer leaves
this was something, no one could touch
even with a tentative finger
on a photograph
a remnant of what love was-
- When I was naked
only to see my reflection
in your eyes
where only God had seen
and all that I thought I could own
now sodden grass lies underfoot
and the night still crawls
Now, all I hear
is the buzz of caterpillars
busy on the vine-
this was the summer of my age
the dance now forgotten
as I forget if this was grief
for a season passed
or did love remember
my night
Author notes
another meh! one but different again..
sigh
Written August 1st, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Naked by AJ Morelli.
750 points, ended August 8, 2006, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
-
Trying to break my heart Gill. you know i'm a sucker "looking back on what could have been" poems, this is so well crafted and lovely... I love all the references to nature as reminders of something lost... i like this a lot Gill....
al -
What a touching write, filled with haunting.
Very beautiful.
-
I feel like howling like a coyote to a distant pack member. The Pack of the Broken Hearted. This got in under the skin of words and lit up the memory of that loss... I love this poem.
Edited on Aug 04, 3:04 p.m. because ''. -
aww..
that's okay... i just don't like people wasting points in the featured box.. including everyone's.. when i was a mod on here.. i'd go round and tell folks that they'd done it
but thanks for the lovely words.. and apology accepted with grace
-
thankyou Elizabeth... so glad to see your knocking about again..... I really appreciate your kind words..
-
Oh my, what sentiments you conjure up with so many exquiste phrases, too numerous to list my favorites. What a pleasure to read this quality of writing. You are an inspiration.
SUPERB!
Thank you for the experience.
Elizabeth -
thankyou Darin... your kind words have touched me deeply tonight..
I am sat in work.. sneaking time on the puter.. and sighing..
Life will turn around, I know this - it's just slow at the moment and the aches are deep..
Thankyou
-
In that night when sorry is never enough and the stars are only reflections of distant lives long past. Remember that those days were real,as real as we are today. Not wasted, they become jewels to be treasured. Keep them in your best case. Time will someday turn them to smiles.
I have been so moved by your latest. I know sorry in not the word and can never be enough. Breaking for you. D -
thankyou Mary... and yes it is the same sky...
we just travel in different directions
-
the same night sky that covers you covers those we cared/ care for in whatever destination they are now traveling- i think the hope is that they find their way and we ares and each leads to settled hearts- and laughter-
thank you so much for this lovely visual effort- the beautiful imagery- and the crawling night of this poem.
m -
There is melancholy but there is more. Those questions, the wondering... there's a question I've pondered over the past several years of my life, whether the people who cross my mind at times also think of me now and then or remember me. I decided they must and I believe it must be true, especially in certain cases. Sometimes I'm even gifted with small reassurances.
The sky is such a universal connection isn't it?
Lovely. -
starry night, fireflies and memories. This is lovely Gill.
it's soft and sensuous like a breeze that brings with it the touch of the past.
Melancholy, haunting
Good luck with the contest and thank you
D -
thanks hun... glad you're liking them so...
funny how having your heart broken makes poetry flow.. Meh!!!
men eh' ... rotten bastards!!
-
many thanks Jim... your kind words touched me today
-
thankyou my friend
-
These "meh" poems of yours are awsome pieces of writing. Wish I had thought of some of these metaphors.
-
The poetry has a very melancholy feel too it. Almost regrets of a sort. I have to agree with some of the other comments in that the title does not do the poem justice but all fits well when you think of why and when you are writing.
Gill, you need a change of season to move on, a new chill in the air, a fresh snow to clean up your environment. There is one coming soon to you.
Take care.
Jim
-
-
This is absolutely haunting Gill, beautifully haunting. I love it.. I swear I could almost hear you.
Red -
UNIQUE WRITE
This has such a unique feeling.....it's different and I can't explain why but I love how I feel reading and re-reading your words. It's almost reflective and I'm questioning memories I haved visited in so long! This is an amazing write. Very well done. Blessings! Tammy -
the answer to your question is - yes
thanks for the lovely comment -
Well, I will admit, I kinda pictured you sitting in the quiet darkness remembering your lover far away, so maybe it actually is an appropriate title, after all.
-
Awesome!
This was very wonderful...I loved it. The background gives it a very special touch.
Thank you very much for sharing!
Kari -
hehhehe...
the title may change yet.... i dunno.. it kind suits the fact.. I'm here in work, on night shifts and the night is very blueblack at the moment.. and it's raining too...
thanks Scott
-
indeed it is
-
thankyou -
i like the title....did you really write it looking through the detox office window??--just wanted to know....
anyway, this is a great poem....with the background and your fine imagery, it made me feel as if i was in the starry night....best of luck in the contest!!....g'day and peace....:] -
Gill -
This is really moody and soft and dark and great. I really liked the indented bits (but i liked it all, so I won't even start quoting parts). Okay, I'll admit the title doesn't seem to describe the wonderful verses contained within...
Scott
-
A wonderful write, which ever side of the wall you are on. Very sweet and full of wonder. Longing and unsurer of, present, future?
Well done, nice wording and flow, very captivating! -
I was the lifetime that never happened........
I really like that line...........
A very emotive write........it has a depthful love......
a sense of hope.......and a strong sadness as well.....
Great imagery too.......
Well done.............
Leance
-
I was the lifetime,
that never happened
the moment that ticked
and the clock that faced the wall
Ahhh, so spread apart, but it looks nice. It makes me feel cut away from the poem and into someone's thought, thank you for making me think! - Lance Ryan Williams: Sweee. -
wow what a lovely write you have written a true treasure how wonderful the stars look at night
-
well yes- I am a nurse and I work in a detox unit...
but this is mainly about a lost love and things from the past
but I appreciate that poetry can be what others see in words..
many thanks for the lovely comment
-
excellent
i write recovery poetry
i guess you are the one on the other side
even though i sensed a lot of the things
the people are going thru
you enchance it with the night, stars, cdatepillars, nature, etc
very good -
thanks for dropping by... really appreciate your comment
-
The title is very unusual. That also makes it really creative. You really were inspired here. Your words were imagitive and grand. They just flowed right off the tonuge. It was enjoyable to read. Good luck in the contest.
Adding your comment:
1 - 37 of 37
16 old applause
