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A Dead Rose

the dead rose...
it resembles my life,
my shattered hopes,
the dead rose...
beautifully tainted,
no longer grows,
the dead rose...
casted out of the garden,
nobody knows,
the dead rose...
as dead as it will ever be,
its image froze,
the dead rose...
in a vase on the ground,
because i chose,
to put my name on a tombstone...
giving purpose to
a dead rose.

Author notes


Written August 7th, 2006

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    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • 1BeautifulDisaster
    August 27, 2006
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    That was incredible. I think that you should put it into stanzas though. Also the very last 4 lines don't really flow because every other line was rhyming and those just kinda change. That was a really fantastic poem though. Good job.
  • The Last Poet
    August 11, 2006
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    very well done... the repeating lines of this piece gave this poem strength... there was alot of imagry in this piece that was great... the poem was clear... and the emotion portrayed through the lines you wrote was sad... the idea used isn't original... though the piece you have written is... for critisism... the lines
    "the dead rose...
    it resembles my life,
    my shattered hopes,"
    with all the other lines (excluding the final 3) the third line's final word would rhyme with the word rose... and in the first part it didn't.... and i would suggest putting this into stanzas of three lines... it might be more visually appealing to the reader... though that is just my suggestion... the ending of this poem is gripping because it doesn't follow the pattern.. though maybe you should make the 1st part and the last line rhyme to maintain the flow of this piece.... though.. this is a great piece... alot of strong lines.. and the piece all comes together well... these three lines are my favourite in the piece
    "the dead rose...
    as dead as it will ever be,
    its image froze,"
    very well done... so keep writing

  • rachelmagnolia
    August 7, 2006
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    amazing

    wow I really do like this! It's short but it means so much. Keep writing, you've got talent!

  • Fallen forever silver member
    August 7, 2006
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    Wow, that is one beauitful poem. I love dead roses, they symbolise something beauitful, like this poem. Delacite and gorgeous. Well done. This was a trully wonderful write