Our souls,
enthralled
in this ecstasy
Bodies embraced by an uninterrupted musical
tinkling …
An orchestra of entwined essence
and omnipresent burbles
from the heart.
Slowly floating ~
in a celestial chorus.
Performing in a serene melody
in a all-consuming symphony.
Impassioned fingers pressing smoothly
moving swiftly ~
caressing gently ~
to the poignant rhythm.
Gripping the baritone tenderly,
in this euphoric concerto.
Bow softly gliding; harmonizing the violin
amongst those tranquil tones.
Powerful sensations …
guided only by an intense percussion beat.
Becoming as one in this mesmerizing
utopia.
Author notes
Word bank~~
Baritone
Precussion
Burble
Celestial
Chorus
Floating
Harmony and/or harmonizing
Melody and/or melodious
Musical
Omnipresent
Serene
Symphony
Tinkle and/or tinkling
Tone(s)
Tranquil
Utopia
Violin
Written August 7th, 2006
In a list
A contest entry
- Metophorical Word Bank by Sabindi.
300 points, ended August 9, 2006, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Welcome to My World (Invite Only) by Pollycheck.
600 points, ended December 3, 2006, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Welcome To My World II (Invite Only) by Pollycheck.
1200 points, ended December 17, 2006, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Thank you for resubmitting this poem in round two of the competition.
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You have created a concerto of words with this very well written poem. You give the reader the ability to hear the whole orchestra. Normally it is a well written poem if you can paint a vivid picture with your words, but you have written a wonderful symphony with your words on this one. Well Done.
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Thanks StarShine for your sweet comments it is very much appreciated.
~carol -
I agree with you MindOphelia, if only it could be that simple.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
~carol -
Thanks Red fay for your wonderful comments I am glad you enjoyed this pice it is very much appreciated.
~carol -
Thanks TJCasser I did try to enlarge the text but the text editor keeps reverting back to the same format. But thanks for reading and commenting it is much appreciated.
~carol -
Thanks so much for the lovely comments and applause it is much appreciated.
~carol -
Thanks so much for reading and commenting it is much appreciated
~carol -
Music always lends itself so well to comparisons with love and you have included some great imagery into this lyrical metaphor. Pretty background. Best of luck.
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*Sigh* ..If only utopia were so simple!
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Thanks Kimberly for your lovely comments and applause it is very much appreciated.
~much love~
carol
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Thanks Terri, Thanks for your comments and applause.
~much love~
carol
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Thank You Marilyn, You have the most inspiring contests. I am please you liked this piece. Much luck to you in judging your fantastic contest.
~much love~
carol
Edited on Aug 09, 12:44 because ''. -
Beautiful
This made me feel like I was at a symphony, eyes closed, getting wrapped in the music of lovemaking. Beautiful. -
I have to agree with another who commented that the background makes it a little hard to read. Lovely execution nonetheless - it was very pleasant and relaxing.
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loved it, great, good, yay, ok get my point .
-claps- I would have never guessed that love makeing and music could be the same, but now reading this I can easily see it, Thanks for posting such a great write! -
some of your words got lost in the background. if nothing else, the formatting and presentation of the poem spoke more of utopia than the poem itself. Good work though.
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Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful poem! Excellent job on this! I found it very peaceful...
Love and hugs,
Kimberly G. -
Carol,
Just simply beautiful!!!
Thank you for writing, thank you for sharing.
Always,
Terri. -
Sensually outstanding
Dearest Carol, what a truly stunningly beautiful and mesmerizing poem this is and I just love the background you downloaded too. Ho hum, once again I am going to have a really trying time judging this contest, as it seems that only the best of the best poets on this site enter my contests. You did a truly wonderful job in penning this one using the word bank and I am in total awe. Very best of luck my dear friend. Love, blessings and great big hugs. Marilyn -
Thanks Lynn Marie, This was for a metaphorical word bank contest. I tried to make something intimate out of the musical words. Thanks so much for your encouraging comments and applause.
~much love~
carol
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Wow!
your words make me feel as if i am listening to a slow dance between two gentle souls during a most intimate moment. so exquisite are your words and the imagery is simply stunning.
beautifully written and a pleasure to read such lovely writing~
lynn
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