Was what happened then, the mistake?
Is what is happening, the mistake?
Will things yet to happen, be the mistake?
Stripped of uncertainity, on my feet,
Stood I, at first sight, telling myself
You were the one for me, no other.
Was what happened then, the mistake?
If I could love you so, truly
And be unloved, sure was I that,
You'd surrender your love to none.
Was what happened then, the mistake?
Life was calling, moved miles away, away..
Only to realize your presence was true life.
Returned to you, the 'you' in his arms.
Was what happened then, the mistake?
So unbelievably madly you love him,
So unwillingly truly I love you,
Hoping for things to change, unrealistically.
Is what is happening, the mistake?
Every conversation, I wish would last a lifetime,
Though I know not the words I say to you,
Never realize the words you say to me.
Is what is happening, the mistake?
Will things yet to happen, be the mistake?
Three lines from the future unknown,
I need here, to keep the flow of the write,
Who do I turn to, but you, my love... tell me,
'Things yet to happen, shall undo all mistakes'.
In love with you, for eternity.
Author notes
Option 3 & Option 4
Written August 8th, 2006
In a list
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Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Shannon! Whoa! That is so really cool! Thanks for coming back for seconds.. I'm so deep eh?? Thank you thank you!!! Thanks a ton for the damn appreciative comment! Encourages me to write more and more! Thanks again! You rock!
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Well I really liked the first poem that I read by you... so I thought I would come back for seconds! Anyways I loved the layout. Your format was outsounding. How sad though. I realize that it is a contest poem and I wish you luck. Why? Well I think you put alot in to this one. You have a way with your words. Complicated but not. You know what I mean? You are so deep! Thank you for sharing this piece of you with us here. Okay I am done. ~~Shannon~~
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Brilliant!
brilliant!... thats it!.. what else can i say except that it's brilliant!
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Katina... Oh God... that is so sweet of you! Thank youuu!
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I'm not sure if I replied to your comments. So, if I did not thank you. Your poem Stolen Love was so unique and also very intriguing. I had to read it again. Kat
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Coookie! Thanks a ton for the comment! Thanks for the wishes too! Rock on!
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beautiful write! I totally felt the emotions you were pushing out in this peice, awesome write nad good luck!
~cookie -
Three 'Wow!'s????? My..... You are flattering me!
Feels so good when I see that something that I wrote so personally is liked by all! My emotions for the girl are simply staggering....If ony she'd understand.. Hmmm..never mind... Glad to have friends like you! Rock on Lynn!
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Wow! Wow! Wow!
so stunning and beautifully written your emotions for the girl are simply staggering. the feelings are so pure and you so creatively added the questions throughout i felt like i was listening to an internal conversation within oneself. truly a lovely poem and so delightful to read such a loving poem~
lynn -
Hey katina...whhhhhhoa... awesome analysis of my poem here.. Whoa again! Thanks a ton for the awesome comment! You truly rock! It really encourages me to see that you caught onto what I was trying to do.. posing the question in the start and ending with the solution... that is..acceptance.. Thanks again!
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Heyyyyyyy Cris! Thanks for the comprehensive comment! Glad you think the repetition fits here! Loveddddd your comment! Thanks again! You rock!
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hahaha... goofy!
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blondone.. Glad you liked my work! Thanks a ton for the comment!
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Couldn't bear to see this page without my reply to your comment..So here's the reply ...
Love ya lots,
Dumbkiwaniwinkydodo! -
Hey Aurielle! Thanks for the downright honest comment! Yeah I kinda realize that too.. the poem does lack any kind of literary significance... I was kinda lost in the emotion.. Was so madly in love... Thanks again for the comment! Hope to write something better next time that you'll appreciate better!
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"Every conversation, I wish would last a lifetime" ... glad you love it! A wish I'd do anything for! Thanks for the elaborate and highly appreciative comment! You Rock! Thanks again!
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Superb
An incredible read. There is a mystic illusion of beauty, mystery and intrigue within each stanza. You are turly onto something here. The way the poem starts with a problem as in a short narrative. The problem being some sort of mistake or regret in the choice one made in a relationship. The end of the poem is the best part. It not only follows through with the initial premise, and wording as it began; it also poses a sort of self-realization to the problem. The solution being acceptance. A poem that poses a problem and then solves the problem is not an easy task. Great work. Thanks for sharing it. Katina -
Eternity is a very long time. As with the universe, people also are constantly evolving - bringing with that evolution, change. Eternity is a very long time to say you'll love someone.
Very well done poem. Fits with the theme of the contest. I like the repetition of using the same line at the end of each verse. Works well here. Good job!
Cris
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a bit of confusion, love is this at times things can be rough for awhile it will straighted out keep up the good writes...like the title....
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Wholy cripes, you are in LOVE with this girl!
So, you are happily sad because you are enjoying talking to her and the good feelings and hopes of the future, but still sad that it is not more as you want it to be and the uncertainty? A good poem, Dumbkiwaniwinkydodo, expressive of the confusion that lies within. 
Nutty Fairymother
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I lost interes toward the ssecpnd stana the first stanza kept me going because of the repest of the last word which brough emotions but there were no original ideas pf meataphors or similies. The name of this poem wasn't an original idea eaither so I wuzn't going to read it but I like how u repeated mistake and the first stanza and the end of each line.
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You have set your pen on such an emtional fire. I could feel each stroke of your words. The iamgery is so vivd and well put. The structure in my vew is perfect! Your title is captive and the background that you have selected for your poem completes it...This particualr line i still carry within my head even as i have completed reading your piece..."Every conversation, I wish would last a lifetime"
Well stated GREAT write!! thanks for sharing your pen
bless
ICU
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