What grievous crimes, in thy name, Oh man where ends the slaughter?
In God we trust, but still we thrust, explosives at our daughter,
So mumble a prayer, to stave off despair, and look a little stauncher,
Even when we are face to face – with the 'Christian?' missile launcher.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I took an apple to the antiques rodeo,
The expert looked it up and down a bit, and then admired the glow.
He said, “It’s a fine example of an early English russet, you see the hallmarks here and here – and just below the gusset.”
He said, “You’ll see the skin colour, is really rather good, it also has a hollow ring… I rather thought it would.”
He said, “Its sale in auction might be a little spare… it would have been sooo much better, if it was a pear.”
=
Feng Shui? No way!
I took your best advice – put the plant stand by the door,
But really got, quite fed up, of picking the plant up off the floor!
I put that little crystal, just above the bed,
I’m sure I would have had good luck, if it hadn’t fallen on my head.
But please don’t get me wrong – I don’t wish to complain,
I’m sure a table’s great outside, I just hate eating in the rain.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I tried to make it rhyme but it wouldn’t
I tried to laugh out loud but I couldn’t
Could I? Would I? Should I seen there was a joke?
Perhaps it is just me, and my funny bone is broke’.
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
A Short section for Nando Tater… Until his mother will let him come out to play again…
A king funster is our Nando Tater,
For humour his poetry ‘ill sate yer,
His rhymes are sublime,
His prose too divine!
And he’s also a great mass debater!
::::::::::
Nando, the famous balloonist,
Dated Lilly, the eminent bassoonist,
She played as he flew,
He brayed as she blew,
Them both into mile high clubists.
::::::::::
For you have done a hellish thing
All poets here should know
‘Twas Nando slew the Bard - that made the pen to flow!
Ah you wretch! Say I, that bard too sly
That made the pen to flow.
::::::::::
The thylacine is seldom seen in bars in Idaho,
Or in gin joints from Maine to Dakota - it’s never been known to show,
Nor has it been voted as ‘one of the boys’, in Boise or Macomb,
In fact, it may never have been seen - in any drinking room!
Sworn off the drink – the thylacine…ha! One might wish to think,
But it’s bloody easy to lay off the liquor - when you are extinct…
(If you don’t know what a thylacine is, see Nando’s poem. Oh - see Nando’s poems anyway – now that’s jazz!)
“””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””
Oh what wonder in your words – the intrinsic mystery!
Perhaps a depression of profundity, never before seen,
Deeper than the deepest ocean! Deeper than the sea!
And me without a bathyscaph or even submarine…
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Dry your tears and calm your sobs… Blair and Bush are not such slobs,
For when they’ve blown a hole in Baghdad’s face…Why they’re going in to fix the place,
And there will be room for KFC, Mac and Coke – and msg.
And all the beers and even Seers… Iraq’s missed out on for three thousand years.
We contemplate a tidy profit, from project: ‘Sons of the Prophet’,
For though overheads may be quite high – Allah’s pizza you must try!
Of course a few innocents maybe dead…
You can’t make omelettes with out cracking eggs,
(Nor make war without cracking heads.)
But collateral damage WILL be minimised,
To prevent a reduction of the market size!
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
There is no dungeon deep enough, to trap the spirit too,
There are no cages of the strongest steel the mind cannot get through,
For though you are a mile deep – hope of escape seems dim,
There MUST be a way out for you… how else did you get in?
Why always a rose…?
Love is like a stapelia flower and stinks of rotten meat,
Or love is like a vinca bloom, small and blue and neat,
And love is like an orchid stem, complex, strange and bright,
Or is love like a selenicereus flower and over in a night?
Many blooms – many bloomers…
[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
The pen is mightier than the sword? I fear I beg to differ,
Even the worst of writers’ cramp will very seldom kill yer,
I also think a clever riposte – even when quite slating,
Is a bloody sight better than, a bit of decapitating!
--------
A silica stew of diverse parts – I hope some here amused,
Dyslexic and eclectic rhymes – (he really is confused.)
But not everybody can see a joke – when there is only one…
So he fires the rascals out like a scatter gun!
Author notes
Written April 10th, 2003
In a list
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And more words of genius!
Jolly good show old chap!
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The love poem was especially clever Silica, I really liked that one!
Jennifer -
Hilarious
Oh, oh, oh....stop it...you're killing me! What a clever mind you have - so nimble and quick....they say you can die laughing...well, this nearly did the trick... Wonderful bits of verse; hilarious through and through. Thanks so much for sharing this....I needed a few smiles today. 
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What can I say?....a simple welsh girl (no not simple in THAT way)
when all these people got here first?....well I'll try...Mr silica you amze me me...there was I thinking well bach the english just got noooo sense of humour (they can't play rugby either...have to win with kicks)...and then you come along and makes me laff my head off!!....my favourite bits...(cos I can do that ...quote my favourite bits and get 2 more points...
A king funster is our Nando Tater,
For humour his poetry ‘ill sate yer,
His rhymes are sublime,
His prose too divine!
And he’s also a great mass debater!
and....
The pen is mightier than the sword? I fear I beg to differ,
Even the worst of writers’ cramp will very seldom kill yer,
I also think a clever riposte – even when quite slating,
Is a bloody sight better than, a bit of decapitating!
very well done sir!!...I am suitably impressed....hugs....leanne xxx
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Lol this is amazing! Ive been amused all the way, and this, if performed, would be worthy of a round of applauses. Dear, I must bookmark this and read it over and over.
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ROFLMAOLMAO.. HEHEHEHHEHEHHHHE
oh, my favourite bits.. the antiques roadshow!!! hehehhehe better if it was a pair.. ROFL.. and Nando's funnies!!! brilliant bits better to bite on Mr S.. thanks for the many giggles and snorts.. hehehhehehehe
~GILL~xxx -
Yes as above brilliant and very funny as well!
Nice write, though you do remind me a but of Dr. Suess a little -
Brilliant
Brilliant as usual.
There is probably a job at National Lampoon for you, my gritty friend! -
Thank you - The whole thing came through as an im. though… quite impressive – must have clock a few points lol.
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very good
After an unusually glum day at work this was a much needed lift.
thanks, these were great.
favorite one:
Of course a few innocents maybe dead…
You can’t make omelettes with out cracking eggs,
(Nor make war without cracking heads.)
But collateral damage WILL be minimised,
To prevent a reduction of the market size!
thanks,
John
Edited on Nov 26, 5:46 p.m. because 'oversized cut and paste.'. -
it is like stepping back in time to read these pages perhaps the middle ages where you have spun fine tales around the great rooms fire and we al sit enraptured by your magical wonders.....and yes any comment whetehr negative or positive is worthy of consideration..but a blank spot sucks donkey dick and shows how little the reader thinks and let's one know that they are too cheap too pay attention...lol...Artis
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Some great little pieces in this lot:)
Very inspiring. Alot of ideas I wish I'd had:)) -
ah, gee, what a time.
critically, i will say it is not by any means your finest. too many commas for my taste. however, the jests were fun as well as the presentation. what a lucky man nando is, to grace your offerings so regularly.
Of course a few innocents maybe dead…
You can’t make omelettes with out cracking eggs,
(Nor make war without cracking heads.)
ouch.
enjoyed, as always. -
Silica the wordsmith. Lots of fun little snippetts and inner jokes. And of course still poking at our favorite international criminals: Bush and Blair. Good to see you are still at it.
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Great again,
Wisdom hidden wisely in wit
Silica surely is the master of it. -
Sometimes i like to write to take a smile in every face... I did a good job.
Hugs from Brazil
**Maria** -
I am absolutely SPEECHLESS this is just incredible, thank you for shareing
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hilarious
there once was a poet, silica was his name,
he didn't seek it, but he found poetic fame,
he didn't write verse
yet may merely converse
and his mumblings put Shakespeare to shame!
I love your wit.
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Excellent
It appears perhaps, that the sheers might wool the sheep. To make a mask for wolves whose thoughts lay in the deep. The wit is fine the line devine, and the message here to keep. A wise man knows when it comes to blows a silence never sleeps.
Absolutely stunning, a most wonderful romp through a treasure trove of words. Thank you. -
I've always known you were great.
I could tell that your wit was fit
that you would rise to the top of it.
and here you shine so free and clear
spouting off like Lancelear.
You are a treasure.
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I wanted to read me some Silica poems
As I sat pondering life in my gum tree home
but when I got here I saw
a surprise was install
he left me a selection of nice tasty bones.
geckos eating bones??
hm
as Seether stated
an interesting colection of funny bone ticklers
laced with the arsnic of society riddlers
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The USA has imported quite enough junk food already. Ugh, what a disgrace! I happen to have some old apples actually.... I should eat them (not junk food) before they're antiques.
I really dig all these verses! They're lovely. Your head is like a machine gun here. Enjoyed!
-
Some would say it's quality
That's important in a thing,
But in the case of Silica
In quantity it's amazing.
Fabulous cocktail of humour and wisdom.....SUPERB!
Kyla
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you always make me laugh
loved this and always enjoy your comments
xo -
interesting write here!
this one made me think abit!
But I did enjoy this!
Keep taking to places that I've never been to before & making me feel those emotions within a heartbeat of time!
Keep penning on my friend!
Bill -
No finer fella will you find if you fancy wryly wrought witticisms,
For when it comes to slingin' zingers, Silica sure can whiz 'em.
Scattering rays of random light like a haphazardly spun prism,
Dotting dirges dim and daft with pleasantly piquant pointilism.
Twixt whimsy and wisdom he seems to seal the statutory schism,
Leading readers where he pleases like cattle 'long the Chisolm.
(But these rumours 'bout Nando Tater surely ain't true...is 'em?) -
It's like a Dahli painting here.. and a smattering of Edward Lear too.. all over the show
tickled me pink at times I liked it.. does that make me a bit weird too??LOLOLOLOL
~GILL~xx -
Nando, the famous balloonist,
Dated Lilly, the eminent bassoonist,
She played as he flew,
He brayed as she blew,
Them both into mile high clubists... ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! Is there any truth to this rumor?
Allah’s pizza you must try!... I wonder what kind of sauce they use? Maybe a petrolium paste.
I am in awe at the inner workings of that mind of yours... simply brilliant!
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I have my favourite snipets of the above pieces of art,
hard not to really as you have tickled my funny bone and made me ponder upon such a varience of topics provided .
I will gift you with my thanks for the smiles and laughter.
Enjoyed the weave of ecletic deliverence and wish to thank you also for the attempted understanding of my cryptic mood of late.
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