But I'll take you down just as slowly
Sweet -nicotine- dreams
You queue for more empty threats
But all you get is an unholy feel of shaking hands
Yes, you queue for more empty threats
But I've never been one to comply with your demands
“Fill every word to burst like a grenade against the skin”
Spirits released from the prison of your so called love
Are you this misleading with everyone?
I'm thriving to hit every atom of your soul
Ready to make you ashamed of every molecule, bone, and muscle
Of your smile - It's not worth the hassle
And now you're in that little room because we took everything away
Just to watch you sweat
Intensified gloom
Makes your baby eyes all wet
And no one even wants to fake sympathy for you
No one feels like forgiving yet
Sweetheart, this was so fun that I'm stepping out of your shoes
I prefer my own that match best with the heart stitched on my sleeve
I'm thriving to hit every atom of your soul
Ready to make you ashamed of every molecule, bone, and muscle
Of your smile - It's not worth the hassle
Spirits released from the prison of your so called love
Are you this misleading with everyone?
You've been a landslide, not a home
It's a matter of time before everybody notices and runs
You've been a landslide, not a home
You've been a landslide, not a home
And you're just more gossip on the tip of my tongue
Everyone will disappear eventually
Everyone will disappear because of me
I'm thriving to hit every atom of your soul
Ready to make you ashamed of every molecule, bone, and muscle
Of your smile - It's not worth the hassle
Author notes
Thanks to Sam for collaborating with me on this. I loved writing with you
Basically this is about the desire to see someone who hurt you hurt as much as you have because of them. I think this has happened to more people, maybe including us.
~Diana
Update: at the moment, there is a 60 second clip of a rough version of the song at www.myspace.com/blamexpete. I'll have the full thing up once I fix it up nice. MySpace doesn't let me do long titles, so it's just called Dynamite Clip.
Check it! ~ Sam
Written August 19th, 2006
Well now it's not online anymore but still out there.
~Diana
In a list
A contest entry
- Vengeance by stormyserenity13.
300 points, ended November 15, 2006, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Thank you, Claire. I appreciate your kind comment and I'm sure Sam does too
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Thank you, Di.
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Wow, so much anger and hurt and then the recklessness of wanting to hurt that person. The metaphor is fresh and new and I would love to hear this song. The title is amazing too. I struggle with titles and I think you do them excellently. I should take a few more lessons with you!!!
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How can one not click to read with a title like that...
and oh how I appreciate your creative title ...it is what gave me the opportunity to read such a well thought out piece. The descriptive nature of this is brillant. I can see this as a song easily.
very well penned, thank you for sharing and featuring so we all might see.
God Bless, Suzi -
Being what the lines say in between hurt is an emotion that burns like fire and gasoline, For once the torch has been lit and passed on through the ashes of mans bones the decaying after affects churn with the caskets of his tomb, Brilliantly penned and very powerful let the pen strike the nerves that no one sees and mark their targets with precise an archy...thank you for allowing me to read and comment on your work ,
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This is a fantastic write with deep, striking emotion. The flow is great, the imagery striking and I love this totally. Being hurt by someone can leave you feel like your world is about to colape and it is something everyone can relate to at some time in out lives. A well written collab. You two write perfectly together. Well done and keep it up.
Claire
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You had me at the title, excellent!! I love this piece, it's so powerful and descriptive!! Much enjoyed!
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Hi, the feeling of hurt is very strong in this write, the hurt ,the snger and the need for revenge, easy to say pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again, anyone who can hurt you to this point is not worth a light, good write you have my applause, hugs Di
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Diana I am not familiar with Sams work but I will be after this. This is a great piece that could be turned into a song. I love the how you took the heartbreak saga and turned it into something so amazing and unique. This is so well done. I love the parts..
You can't say I never warned you that I'm not as addicting as the cigarettes
But I'll take you down just as slowly
Sweet -nicotine- dreams
I'm thriving to hit every atom of your soul
Ready to make you ashamed of every molecule, bone, and muscle
Of your smile - It's not worth the hassle
It actually is not worth the hassle to do, but oh so fun to think of now and again...Another great write from you! Trina
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Wow, thank you, it's nice to know you liked it that much. Sam said she wanted to turn it into a song though and we wrote it with that in mind. However, I can't say anything for sure before I talk to her. Sorry, but thanks for the appreciation.
~Diana -
Thank you for your comment. It's much appreciated.
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This is very good. I really enjoyed reading this piece.
I'd like to sing it out to everyone that has caused the pain that one must have endored to be able to write this, with this much emotion. I would love to make it into a song, if it would allright with you. IM me yee or no.
Edited on Aug 19, 2:29 p.m. because 'gramar eror.'. -
That was absolutely beautiful. It had meaning to it and trust me I can relate. Keep it up. You should try sending that to record companies. I am serious. That was awesome. (Beautiful in a sad/love since)








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