As time is silenced and the leaves gently rustle
They dance on blooming roads with strenuous bustle
Erewhile they were present in hues of red and black
Leaving behind forgotten masses lying on the track
Nigh all brethren of their enigmatic song and thought
By the two wanion winds into piles they were wrought
No ruth shown by their impish mind, always in bliss
Falling gently, in exquisite beauty thereinto an abyss
As gentle shores thole the flagellation of the waves
Surrounded by a flock of army of ever drinking knaves
The waves babble and entrance, but are bound in a mesh
All desiring to glide ahead in a truly frenzied thresh
Erelong they slide and they sense the aromatic bloom
Amidst darkness they converge in an unending flume
They present a prithee to souls of the mighty haven
Ruminating the fleecy clouds colored like a raven
The clouds move around like a child in a sweet sweven
As by mighty powers they are mottled and then driven
Across the oceans, across the tree's, across the globe
They form the celestial faces, with their obscure lobe
They rise and meet, and entwine to form a great mass
The hue's of their bodies are reflected by a vivid glass
They roam the skies waiting for the impending storm
To lift them and shower prosperity against their norm
They all sing to the eccentric tune of mother nature
Guiding wanton souls to reach her mighty stature
They dance to a euphony that all her children weave
Sometimes awakening her wrath but never do they grieve
She is the creator and destroyer with intense power
The most evil enchantress but eke the sweetest flower
Presenting true hope where no love nor faith is left
She opens up realms to her gloriously divine cleft...
Author notes
Other write:
Nor life nor death....
Picture by aliceg
Written August 20th, 2006
A contest entry
- PAY IT FORWARD! by Alleksa Jan.
525 points, ended December 2, 2006, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Looking for Quality Poetry ... by ecrivain01.
450 points, ended January 11, 28 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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What an epic journey this have... very metaphorical, of course, it depends how you look at it, but I say metaphorical. We are taken on a roadtrip of our lives and the world around us, through one simple symbol.
Very beautiful and I really liked the flow
Congrats on the trophies there
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I read your author's notes first, and must tell you that pre-writes were not allowed for this option, as specified in the rules. However, your piece was so beautifully written with amazing flow and word choice, that I couldn't not read it. Excellently done, so I shall applaud, though a prize may not be given. Please feel encouraged to enter again if any spaces are left; your talent is greatly welcomed for this contest...
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The imagery, the verbiage and the rhythm and flow make this superior work. Just excellent. love it Hugs, Bunny
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Congrats on the gold and bronze! This was just absolutely fantastic... I am not sure that I have ever seen you before but I know just from this piece I am missing out. I adore your sense of imagery and your rhyming... you are one of the better poets, make no mistake. Thank you for this read. I am going to add you to my favorites now.
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thx for the wonderful comment, glad u liked it
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Ah, I do like this for I enjoy language. An English teacher could use this poem as a lesson in vocabulary.
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This is not bad ...
but again, you've rather overdone the obscure verbiage. However, we'll let that pass. I think this is a remarkable poem, but then I have always thought you were a remarkable poet. I wonder what you will accomplish when you finally have gotten a real grip on your writing abilities?
I have to say that I am impressed with this, but I also have reservations about that avalanche of big words, and particularly when they are so archaic in general. In any case, I will take another look at this tomorrow or Tuesday when I have more time and see how it strikes me then.
Thanks for entering and Happy New Year.
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Chef-d'oeuvre
Wow, I'm so impressed, no that's to simple to refer it to your sophisticated poem - wish I knew who wrote this outstanding masterpiece that possesses of so much meaning at the same time being polished beyond perfection with an outstanding vocabulary choice and flawless rhyme. By the way thank you for providing a list of words - it made my life easier 
Amazing - You took something that is so simple and seemingly mundane and turned it into a masterpiece.
Wow, I can't stop saying "wow!" that's unfair - you turned me into a stuttering schoolgirl that is in awe of her brilliant teacher.
You made me think, you made me ponder - that's a huge achivement given how lazy I am. You are talented - but I am sure you know that already...What else should I say?
It happened so that I read your piece last and pretty much had the winners in my head already - you smashed my perfect picture to smithereens! Ah...I'm torn - never thought that judging is THAT hard.
Now should I dissapoint you by saying that you are out of the competition for the outrageous reason of ... being superiour? Don't know - don't know... Let me torture you as you tortured me.
Regards and a gracious bow,
The Clapping and cheering Jan
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Thank you for the beautiful comment.You don't receive too many comments like these nowadays
Thanks
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Lol.Could you explain in simpler words if you liked the poem or not
My thoughts are running slow today, anyways thanks for the comment.It's appreciated 
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You had your moments with one or two archaisms such as "a prithee". "a pray you?" Still, the quaint language lent flavor to what you had to say. There is a certain misty profundity because of the diction, most of whichn I understood without going to the glossary.
The effectiveness is gauged not by the poetry so much as the wonder created in your readers!
Thank heavens we are inventive and different; each one of us. The colored stanzas are all part of this strange world.
I feel as if I have been eating the wrong kind of mushroom.
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Dear wakingdevil,
You already knew I'd like this one!
Thanks for a great entry!
Tang -
oh my gosh, I am more than speechless ...
are you sure that you don't come from another planet
, the planet of absolute genius and perfection ?
I am blushing when I read your poem which, for me, is an incarnation of excellency in every way. I can understand that you find homework for "baby-school" boring ...
what would they have to teach you ? at least on the subject of english, poetry and philosophy ...
in many ways, your unique talent and poetic mastery reminds me very much of uditji's poetry - which, coming from me, is a compliment and expression of respect and appreciation. I hope you receive it as such, as I meant to cherish you as much as I cherish uditji. (hope HE won't be jealous ...
... HI, UDITJI, my lovely brother )
well, now I have to do the scoring ...
à bientôt,
maa -
You are absolutely astonishing! This is so deep, and many-faceted, sophisticated and wise. Philosophical and sensual...are you really 15? Are you perhaps the Dali Lhama reincarnated? The level of forethought just to format this structure, the research involved in the correct usage of the archaic vocabulary, the metaphors of such imaginative scope...taking something as simple as falling autumn leaves and taking it on this journey....wow! I bet all the other kids copy off your classwork don't they? It was the story of my youth to be looked at like I was some sort of freak of nature, or perhaps an alien because my focus and the reflection of it in my conversation and comportment was not commonly comprehended by my peers...but it didn't work against me to much, because I was also a cheerleader and Miss Teen Kansas...deceptively blonde and sufficiently barbie-esque to suffer from unpopularity...it was just not too easy to find much challenge among my peers...You probably can relate, yes? Or is the median intellect level in India in the stratosphere compared to here? Just curious...you are destined to do great things my friend!
Hugs!
DK -
10/10
Now that's what i am talking about i really did enjoy reading this poem. I hope ypu win you have my vote, best of luck tp you -
Dear wakingdevil,
I'm so glad you put the explaination of the archaic words used in your author's comment box. (That helped alot)
You are on a spirituality path with this one including nature's children and the goddess of Mother Nature.
Very smooth flow with intelligence springing forth.
I wish you the best in the contest!
Tang
ps I know it's hard to pick up the flavor of the older times, you did this very well.
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I agree with Risen this is amazing, thank you and good luck Josephine
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I don't know what to say.....because firstly, it's an amazing poem. TOOOOOO GOOD! Perhaps even the best till now. But then I've always told you, I'd love to see something new from you. Try different stuff. Remember Panchatatva and Qayamat?
Anyhow, this poem was great. I am assuming that you'll go through to the next round.....I want a unique poem there. Something I've never seen from you. Good Luck.
~Udit
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